Shutting down

O2girl

I totally feel myself shutting down. This whole process is so isolating and when you start losing the support of those you thought cared it becomes unbearably isolating. I am to the point that I wish I could just crawl into a hole. If I can't share the pains in my life with people then why should I share the triumphs? Fair weather friends and family suck

GettinCrafty

Big hugs coming your way. I felt like I wanted to live in a bubble with just me and DH for so long after we got our last BFN. Few others can understand this journey with its few ups and many downs. I'm sorry your friends and family are letting you down right now. I hope some come through for you soon, and that you are able to explore other ways and places to express all your feelings and emotions. It's so important to be heard and understood and supported! 

((hugs))

missmarypoppins

I'm sorry you're down. I would let yourself shutdown for a little while. It's ok if it's just you and DH for a few days to heal. IF is so isolating. It's like a slap in the face sometimes when you realize that those close to you still just don't get it. Lose yourself in some good books or trashy tv and shut the world out!

badrianne

I know what you mean by "fair weather." They don't seem to be able to deal or are even interested in the IF struggle. I begin to wonder why I even tell people at all. It's because I don't want to be isolated but it results in feeling more isolated. It sucks and I am sorry your are feeling this way today. 

LSN8308

thats the worst feeling ever ive gotten to a point where i feel like every single thing i have ever said to most family about IF has been thrown back in my face. and this is not the time to be around such negativity anyway. sometimes it hurts because all you want is for them to be there when you need them, or just to hear a comforting word or two. thats not too much to ask for! *HUGS*

sweetsurrender9

I'm sorry that things are so rough right now.  Sometimes allowing yourself a day or two to feel everything that's running through your head and heart can make things a little better.  I hate it when people can't just be supportive and positive.  Sending you good thoughts.

BRaven985

So sorry  I have at times cut off communication and interactions with friends and family just because of that feeling....even the supportive ones.  Sometimes you just need to crawl in that hole for a while and reset yourself...and hopefully come out feeling revived.

kz's_girlygirl

**hugs** I totally get it.  To us, our struggle and journey can be so overwhelming and really be the focal point of our lives.  To other people....They don't understand why we are so consumed, they don't understand why things upset us the way they do.  They don't understand that while we may have many blessings in our lives already, we are missing something. 

I think it becomes so isolating because of that-we don't feel understood and people not going through this don't know how to talk to us about it because they don't have anything they can use to relate to.  It creates a rift sometimes no matter how hard we try to keep that from happening. 

I guess I don't have any advice, because my solution is to just not share IF things with people because I'm tired of getting "pity face" for a few minutes and then having the subject changed, lol.  Please know that there are people who understand and are here to support you even when it seems like no one gets it.  We do

Praying4Miracle17

I think a lot of us can relate.  I did shut down/not tell a lot of friends about IVF which was nice until I got my BFN and then felt so alone (other than my mom, sister and DH knowing).  I started not doing things with friends and they were upset by me pulling away and not knowing why. So, I finally told them and it was great....that is until I got cancelled for FET #2 the second time and no one seemed to care or want to support me.  They complained about not being there/knowing what was going on for the first BFN and then when FET#2 comes along and I share my struggles, they are no where to be found.  I think I will keep the next round (whatever it is - FET or a frest IVF) to myself.

CallaLily30

Sending (((HUGS))) your way.  I can completely relate to feeling alone in this process.  We haven't told our families about our struggles with m/cs and IVF yet since we don't want them being so nosey all the time.  While sometimes, I'm glad they don't know, other times it would be nice to have their support.

You know you can lean on us if you have some tough times.  We've can all relate to the day to day struggles of IF.

TaylorH84

I'm so sorry. I'm definitely not myself lately either and can definitely relate. We are in our own little world that no one can begin to understand until they've been here. DH, my parents and in laws know...my stupid effing work had to know bc of me being in xray and now I hate them for being so nosy. There's times I want to talk to people but I want it to be my choice. I too get sick of the pity faces and there's also an embarrassment I have sometimes that this keeps failing. Not sure if anyone else experiences feeling that emotion. I hate to even admit it. We are all here for you and will always listen. Know you're not alone feeling this way...all I want to do lately is sleep. Xoxoxo

Carolina Blue Skies

IF is so hard, and what makes it even harder is interacting with people who just don't get it.  Believe me, you are not alone in this feeling.  I've had to separate myself from some friendships that made myself feel worse about myself - and then, as a result, ended up becoming a hermit at home.  I'd suggest finding those friends & family who, even if they don't understand it, at least support you in a positive way.

ksgsmu

I am so sorry... I had a meltdown last night about this same thing... IF is such a lonely place. 

Hugs!

O2girl

Thanks ladies.. It sure does help to know that I'm not alone in this

Lm92599

Im sorry @O2girl, Ive been in shut down for weeks now. Cant seem to find a happy place. It sucks. Hope you feel better soon. ((hugs))

Sunny B

AMEN! I'm so sorry you're dealing with it, and I'm sorry any of us have to. IF is hard enough. Thank goodness we have each other.

happygirl1013

I felt this all weekend.  My anger phase is really setting in, and the holidays are making it worse.  You aren't alone.  We're here for you.  This is how I try to think of it (it's helpful for me, and hopefully will be helpful for you):  I spent the majority of my life not wanting to be a mom yet, so while this terrible IF process plays out, I need to get myself mentally back to the place where I didn't care about being a mom yet otherwise I'm going to drive myself crazy.  

So I know this may not work for you, and may be really hard to do.  Good luck and I really hope you and I are both (along with all these other fine ladies) on PAIF soon.  XOXO