January 2014 Moms
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Co-worker keeps complaining about my maternity leave...

Hi ladies, hoping you can help! I'm due with my first mid January and currently work full time in a small department of 3 in my company. I plan on taking the full 12 weeks maternity leave granted by FMLA to spend time with baby. Per my manager's request, I've been putting together helpful lists of my regular tasks that I'll need their assistance with once I'm on leave. My manager and another colleague are planning on splitting up my job responsibilities once I'm on leave -- my responsibilities aren't rocket science, but they can be time consuming on any given day. The problem is, my colleague (the girl who isn't my manager) keeps complaining to me about the level of work she's going to have once I leave, and keeps stressing to me how annoyed she is that my boss is giving her my job duties, etc. She follows up the complaints by saying "I'm not trying to make you feel bad about your maternity leave".... (and trust me, I do not feel bad at all about my maternity leave.. I couldn't be looking forward to spending time with my first baby more!)... but her constant complaining about the duties she'll be inheriting from me for 12 weeks makes me feel uncomfortable. Any advice on what to say to her when she complains? I understand that nobody wants more work, but I also feel like I'm entitled to my 12 super quick weeks with my child without having her complain about it! Thanks in advance for your advice :)

Re: Co-worker keeps complaining about my maternity leave...

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    Tell her that the more appropriate person to voice her concerns to is a person who can do something about them, ie, the manager. Don't ever apologize, and change the subject when she brings it up. Basically, don't let it bet a topic of conversation.
    I agree with peanut.

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    Tell her that the more appropriate person to voice her concerns to is a person who can do something about them, ie, the manager. Don't ever apologize, and change the subject when she brings it up. Basically, don't let it bet a topic of conversation.
    Agreed completely...definitely annoying and inappropriate :(

    A
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    M/c #1 - 10/30/07 - 5w3d, DS1 - born at 36w, M/c#2 - 12/7/09 - 5w, M/c #3 - 1/13/10 - 4w6d, 
    M/c #4 - 3/16/10 - 5w1d, DS2 -  born via VBAC at 40w3d, M/c#5 - 11/5/12 - 7w2d
    BFP #8 - 5/5/13- Looks like a sticky one! DS3 - born via epi-free VBAC at 39w1d

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    What Peanut said.  Or, record it and play it back to her if she ever goes on mat leave.  :)

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    Yeah I would just tell her that she should discuss her concerns with your manager, and then change the subject.
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    At this point, she's lucky you haven't told her to shut the fuck up.
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    partial molar pregnancy : bfp 6.28.10, d/c 8.17.10, 7 rounds methotrexate, cleared 7.1.11
    alexander patrick : bfp 1.16.12, born 9.20.12 @ 39w1d, 7 lbs./11 oz./22 in.
    scarlett irene elizabeth : bfp 5.24.13, born 2.3.14 @ 41w2d, 7 lbs./13 oz./19 in.
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    I am glad you aren't feeling guilty, because you shouldn't be. As others have said, I would tell her that she should take her concerns to the manager, and then change the subject. You don't have to listen to her complaining or engage in that conversation with her.

    Baby Lexi: BFP: May 12, 2013 (Mother's Day), EDD: January 21, 2014
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    Seriously you have more grace then me - I would tell her where to stick it. In all honesty I would probably walk away whenever she brought it up, try peanuts advice, it just say - I'll think if you working so hard when I'm home with my baby

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    Agree with peanutmuse. She is complaining to the wrong person!!!! Change the subject...or point her to the right person!
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    That is some serious BS. I'd have to say something to shut her up. Example, "Look, I understand that you're going to inherit more work while I'm out, but I am not about to feel bad for taking time off for my child. I'm not discussing this with you any further" I would also mention her continued comments to your boss, because they may need to be aware of problems that could arise (like @iloveburritos) such as her just up and quitting because she sounds like a total whiny twatwaffle. And ditto everybody else, tell her to take it up with the manager if it's such a problem.
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    Lmaoooo @megngregk. Did u really just say twatwaffle?? My girl crush on u just went up!!!!
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    Ljessen13 said:
    Lmaoooo @megngregk. Did u really just say twatwaffle?? My girl crush on u just went up!!!!
    I'm in a total mood tonight ;)
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    At this point in my pregnancy, my Jersey Girl attitude is making its way out into the workplace and I would've responded with a snarky remark that she should be glad you're still in the office trying to make her life easier when it would be more inconvenient to her if you abruptly went out on leave.  

    I have the opposite issue where the people covering my leave can't find their way out of a paper bag and will actually have to DO WORK! And seriously with less than 6 weeks left before my EDD, I can't really be bothered to give a crap about it because ultimately it's my manager's problem.  I've got way to much on my plate getting ready for DS's arrival!

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    Yeah, agree with others, it's not your problem! I would have just blankly stared at her and said "what do you want me to do about it, come back the day after giving birth?" Honestly, I'm so short-fused these days, I would have blown up. You are a saint!
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    Thanks so much for your advice, ladies!! It is getting annoying and to the point where I'm about to flip out.. but trying to keep my cool haha. I now just point her to the manager when she complains about how stressed and overwhelmed she is about me leaving... I do like the idea of asking if I should come back the next day after giving birth to make her feel better though.. I may have to use that one!! thanks again :)
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