DH and sex

APutter05

DH and I were talking yesterday and the subject if sex came up. We were talking about the last time we had done it. It's been OVER a month. DH is one that loves it and he hasn't been wanting it. I finally asked him why and his response was "it scares me. She's here and I'm afraid she knows what's going on." He doesn't want to have sex anymore until after she's born. How's everyone else's DH with this?

beccam1230

It's actually been awhile for us too, it doesn't bother me at all but it definitely makes him nervous. He says that he knows that the baby is right there and a) he's afraid something is going to hurt him (of course he's not going to hurt him!) and b) he feels weird because of the close proximity.
I guess all men feel differently about it, but I still have 11 weeks to go... And then sex will be off limits for awhile after he's born, it's a LONG time to wait..

shaunessa

Join the club sister!  Its been almost 2 months here!  But I don't mind b/c my sex drive is non-existent right now.  It is quite weird, but we do other things to keep him afloat!  He doesn't mind, as long as he's getting SOME attention.  

APutter05

I never thought DH would be this way. We even talked about it before I got pg. I told him he better get it with me while he can because he's not even getting close after!! Haha!!

jodyen

Same here, DH is not wanting to have sex also because he is afraid that it will hurt LO, I told him that it would actually probably make her go to sleep in there and she won't know a thing...LOL. I read that somewhere on here but forgot where and he don't believe 100% and just raised his eyebrows and gave me his dorky smile...so yea....He is also afraid it would cause early labor because he was told by some of his co-workers (>.>) that the protein in his semen will help labor...sigh so yea I totally fell ya on this one....

APutter05

The believe the weirdest stuff!!
I asked him today if it was about her or if it was me. He tried to reassure me it was about her. I however got emotional and freaked out!! I was crying and saying "it's me!! You won't have sex with me because I'm fat. Don't lie I know that's it." Then I got even nuttier and said "your getting it elsewhere aren't you?" I am ready to get back to normal and to be able to have sex with my DH again!!

beccam1230

jodyen said:

Same here, DH is not wanting to have sex also because he is afraid that it will hurt LO, I told him that it would actually probably make her go to sleep in there and she won't know a thing...LOL. I read that somewhere on here but forgot where and he don't believe 100% and just raised his eyebrows and gave me his dorky smile...so yea....He is also afraid it would cause early labor because he was told by some of his co-workers (>.>) that the protein in his semen will help labor...sigh so yea I totally fell ya on this one....

My husband hears some ridiculous things from coworkers, and he believes them!! Men should not give other men advice on pregnancy. You should only be qualified to do so if you are or at some point have been pregnant!

Tre Nichol

I've never seen my husband so nervous about anything! He listens to his friends and jokes they make that make absolutely NO sense! I try to explain to him that it is perfectly fine but he just cant seem to get over the idea that he will hurt the baby! Our sex life has been pretty non existent over the past few months, which I am actually fine with since I am so uncomfortable most of the time! ugh MEN! lol

jodyen

totally get ya, I've been super emotionally lately with my DH, between me not working and what not and him not wanting to have sex, I have had to really watch my feelings around him so I don't go all crazy wife on him. I told him he needs to read up on it, and if he still don't feel 100%,then he has a LOOOOOOOONG wait, cause after the baby it will be at least 6 weeks till we can have it again...so yea

lrj85

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-sex-and-babies/201109/who-thinks-pregnant-women-are-sexy  I was doing some research the other day stumbled on to this thought it was pertinent to this conversation and maybe some other ladies may find it interesting.

APutter05

I tried to convince DH that he wasn't going to hurt her, she's not going to know what's going on and that she won't kick him. I hope that it helps. I told him I miss the intimacy and I want that back. I think he kinda understood that.

rowanthefrog

During my pg with DS1 DH was a little more hesitant about sex. On our third go round he's well aware of the mandatory 6 weeks no sex period after birth so he's trying to get in as much as I'm up for while he still can

A

JackieP1023

I am jealous of you all! DH and I have not been able to have sex since late July, due to the placement of cerclage at 13w. He is well aware of the 6 week wait post baby, there's just nothing we can do about it. I miss it, for sure, but we gotta do what we gotta do to get LO here safely!

APutter05

Talking hasn't really happened. He is avoiding the subject at all cost. Hopefully he will understand soon. I got him a book for dads to be so hopefully it says something in there about it.

thewhitz

My husband and I both have a high sex drive and have always had a lot of sex. He has the same issue that your husband does and therefore we rarely do it anymore. I MISS it.

APutter05

I didn't think I'd miss it as much as I do. I miss the closeness and intimacy. I hope DH changes his mind and we can get back into it.

Lilyrussell

It's been a few weeks for me and before that it was about 6 weeks...last weekend was our honeymoon and I got zip!:( I have a couple blood clots and he is convinced it could shake them or the filter I had put in loose even though the doctor didn't put any restrictions on what I can or can not do. He also saw my mucus plug when I lost it in the hospital so I'm convinced that his real reason is that he's afraid he will be sucked into a vortex of mucus never to return! Either way I probably won't be getting lucky for a long time. Ah the things we go through for our babies already!

JuneMrs

With my first we had sex the night before he was born. This time we are 1-2x a week depending on how I'm feeling because I've had a lot of sick stomach issues all pregnancy but we try to keep things as frequent as possible.

APutter05

So....DH and I talked yesterday. I told him that I had looked in the books they we have and it says its perfectly safe unless advised by a doctor not to have sex. He didn't believe me of course so he looked it up....what did he find? The same thing I had told him. Haha!! He said he's going to try but if he gets kicked or I'm uncomfortable he's stopping.