Should I have another Baby Shower??

dovienash13

My son is 2yrs old and we just found out that we are having another boy!

food_chick

I think it is up to you and your friends/family.  Our second son was just over 2 years behind our first and I had a few friends throw me a shower.  It was small and casual. It was nice to get a few new things for our second but wasn't a necessity.  If anyone offers and you're up for it then go for it.  But I think it really is a personal thing/choice.

Avion22

Has someone offered to throw you one?   I would feel weird going to a baby shower only two years after going to the last one, but I guess if someone offers, and it's mostly a different set of people (like maybe if you moved in between?) then it would be okay.  Otherwise, I doubt the exact same people will want to buy you more stuff so soon.

Maybe if someone offers to throw a shower, you could ask to do a no-gift party instead?

bingbongsmama

If it has been offered and the guests want to go, sure. Just don't do what an acquaintance of mine did and throw it for yourself. (2 years apart, same gender)

bingbongsmama

Wait...who decides that it's tacky? It depends on what your family wants to do. Some families want to help out, celebrate, give gifts etc. to celebrate a new baby, regardless of what # it is. This generalized "it's tacky" response is silly. If people want to throw you a shower, it's not tacky to say thank you and accept.

kmdendy

My friends have all had two showers and I happily went to both. They were both girls too. I had no idea that it was something people were so against until I saw some blogs on here. Pregnant people are harder on themselves than others. I think people are happy to participate In a second shower without thougtht. I am pregnant with my first so I guess I am still learning

rowanthefrog

When I was pg with my second son my friends threw me a "baby celebration." There were no gifts, it was just a get together to celebrate his pending arrival.

This time (3rd son) my mom's group is going out to eat and some people may be bringing me freezer meals.

A

gypsymystic

I would really like to know who decided "a shower is to welcome someone to motherhood..." Not to be snarky, just seriously never heard of that. Plents of STMs + have showers. My mom had one with all 4 of her girls, each 2 years apart. I would also like to know Who the F decided it was tacky... cuz personally I would not care and I would just celebrate my baby's impending birth with family and friends- and they would be HAPPY to be there, of course and if they were not then likely they are just shitty people and who wants them there anyway. Who gives a darn what other people think the 'rules' of babyshowerdom are about. This is pretty stupid to even debate this topic IMO- if you want one, by all means have one. Be it first, second, or fourth child. 

cMichelle0423

Lol prepare to get some snarky responses!!!

dovienash13

I've gotten a few family members bringing it up but this was before we found out the Gender and our family still doesn't know. We are telling them on Christmas. I feel a Diaper Shower would be appropriate bc who doesn't need diapers but I DO NOT expect any sort of shower and unless it's brought up by a friend or family member I don't plan on pushing the subject.

LEMSA

I wouldn't go to a second shower for the same gender...2 years apart. And I think it's tacky. Buy your own diapers.

lexusolsen

I vote no. I threw my cousin a huge shower with her first. When she had her second I was offended to get an invite in the mail- apparently the shower I threw for her wasn't enough? It's your job to provide for your baby and if people want to give you a gift they don't need a shower to do it.

Gigi8212

Very tacky. I am definitely not having a shower for this baby, even if it is a different sex. Nor can I even think of a person who would offer to throw me a shower just two years after my first baby.

runningyogimama

No. A shower is to welcome a woman to motherhood and you are already a mother.

spacepotatoes

This would not be something that is done in my area. Having had a baby of the same sex only two years ago would make this seem pretty gift grabby.

mtrhomegirl

Even if you were having a girl i still think it would be a little tacky and i probably wouldn't attend....just seems a little much...i always thought that you get one baby shower..period.  my family/parents would just give money after each grandchild was born to help with little things that might be needed but another shower...tacky

Erica314

Nope.  A shower is to welcome a new mother to motherhood.

You only become a new mother once...  If you want to have a small get together with friends and family to celebrate, sure, but don't make it a gifting event.

Buy your own baby gear, especially at only two years apart!

EmR22

No to second shower. If people want to buy you gifts they will but I personally think it's tacky to have a shower and act like you've never done it before. My DD1 is 8 years older than my DS. And a lot of the things I registered for I now hate or there are cool new things available that I wish I had. But it's up to me to buy them. Yes I love free things but expecting people to buy you gifts two years later just seems wrong. I agree that you can have a party if you want but don't register and expect gifts. And don't say it's a baby shower, baby celebration, baby anything. Just have a get together.

imakeeff0rts

ugh. I really wish people would start using the search function.

yvanehtnioj

bingbongsmama said:

Wait...who decides that it's tacky? It depends on what your family wants to do. Some families want to help out, celebrate, give gifts etc. to celebrate a new baby, regardless of what # it is. This generalized "it's tacky" response is silly. If people want to throw you a shower, it's not tacky to say thank you and accept.

I think I see what you're saying here but the problem is some of the people who decide it's tacky would be people I care about. They don't know all the details (like how someone really wanted to throw it for me and I went "OK? Why not?" or how the people on the 2nd tri board were all "Dude they don't know your lyfe! Go ahead & do it!"), they're just getting an invite in the mail & going "WTF?" And to me, having people I care about thinking I'm tacky trumps gifts & a party.

Tassie06

No I don't think so. You're having another boy. And only 2 years after the first. If it was a girl then maybe if a friend was going to throw one for you. In your situation I think it would be more appropriate to have a meet and greet. And you'll probably end up with some presents anyways. If that's what you want.

Luna C

kmdendy said:

 I think people are happy to participate In a second shower without thougtht.

Yeah... no.

WashingtonQueen

dovienash13 said:

My son is 2yrs old and we just found out that we are having another boy!

No.

jaysears

My daughter will almost be 3.5 and I am expecting a boy this time, I am not super comfortable with the idea of a second shower.  My friend offered to throw me one, I told her I would rather get together for a lunch, or something.  We decided to have a little girls potluck and decorate cookies, I just would like a girls day with some of my mamas I haven't seen in a while, and that sounds pretty fun to me.  I am not expecting, nor do I need much, I have been trading with other moms to get the things that I need (boys clothes, infant carseat, swing) I gave away most of our baby items besides clothes to friends over the years.  

PrimRoseMama

If someone offers, maybe. Are your kids close in age? Generally, showers are reserved for welcoming a mother to motherhood. It's become a fad in various circles to throw showers for every child. That doesn't make it polite. Popular does not always equal polite.

The main rule I would caution you to adhere to is not to throw one for yourself.

Traditionally, if it's common & acceptable to your social circle and/or family then you don't come on here asking if you should have one. Either it is understood that it's tacky & gift grabby for your set OR you know it's common and don't worry about it. Hence, no reason to ask.

So, since you are asking I would take a gamble that no, it's not generally done for your circle.

Also, this subject has been done TO DEATH.

GlynnCoco

I LOVE baby showers, but double dipping is a NO-NO! <333

fsumom

I don't really think you should have a baby shower but maybe you could get a few girlfriends together and go out to brunch.  My co-worker just had a girl 2 years after having a boy and we decorated her office and all of us got her a few things.  I didn't mind doing this at all.  

My DD will be almost 8 when #2 is born and most people on here would still say it's tacky if I had another shower even if #2 is a boy.  I'm sure I'll have someone offer, but I'm not sure if I'll accept. I would hate for any of the invitees to look at me as a tacky, gift receiving, no good person and all.  

runningyogimama

I like how every answer that validated OP having a second shower was marked as "answer" and anything with a differing opinion wasn't...why ask, then?

Erica314

JmeJme said:

I like how every answer that validated OP having a second shower was marked as "answer" and anything with a differing opinion wasn't...why ask, then?

I noticed this too...  Seems like OP already had her answer before she asked the question, and just wanted validation.

NerdyLucy

If I were in your shoes, I would NOT have a second shower. In my opinion, that ship has already sailed.

rscampbell

""Nope.  A shower is to welcome a new mother to motherhood."" Huh?? Who came up with this??

A baby shower is a way to celebrate the pending or recent birth of a child by presenting gifts to the parents at a party (that's the actual definition... Look it up!). 

What would you say to someone who is having their second child 14 years after the first when they clearly have nothing left from the previous baby??? Should this second one not be celebrated just as much as the first?

Meery82

rscampbell said:

""Nope.  A shower is to welcome a new mother to motherhood."" Huh?? Who came up with this??

A baby shower is a way to celebrate the pending or recent birth of a child by presenting gifts to the parents at a party (that's the actual definition... Look it up!). 

What would you say to someone who is having their second child 14 years after the first when they clearly have nothing left from the previous baby??? Should this second one not be celebrated just as much as the first?

I would tell her that she should buy her own baby things. It's no one else's responsibility to provide for the baby but her and her husband's. 

And you're right, that is the definition, but it also says that traditionally, a shower is only given for the first child. It is celebrating the birth of the child, not the child itself. The mother gives birth. Children are celebrated at their birthday parties once they are separate from their mother.

rscampbell

So then I'm assuming you invite friends & family to your child's birthday party,,, usually expected to bring A GIFT!!!

If you don't want to attend a person's second, third... baby shower cause you think it's tacky, it's your business & right to just not go!! You all seem like selfish jerks to me. No different than "celebrating your child" with a birthday party expecting a gift!

rscampbell

Neither is in necessarily at a Baby Shower when you are celebrating a new baby. 

Maybe you ladies should stop trolling the pregnancy boards and let everyone enjoy theirs....

bingbongsmama

rscampbell said:

So then I'm assuming you invite friends & family to your child's birthday party,,, usually expected to bring A GIFT!!!

If you don't want to attend a person's second, third... baby shower cause you think it's tacky, it's your business & right to just not go!! You all seem like selfish jerks to me. No different than "celebrating your child" with a birthday party expecting a gift!

lol!! I know! Maybe it's also tacky to throw birthday parties for your kids? My tacky 3 yo had a blast at hers, I might go against the etiquette gods and let her have a birthday every single year

Meery82

rscampbell said:

So then I'm assuming you invite friends & family to your child's birthday party,,, usually expected to bring A GIFT!!!

If you don't want to attend a person's second, third... baby shower cause you think it's tacky, it's your business & right to just not go!! You all seem like selfish jerks to me. No different than "celebrating your child" with a birthday party expecting a gift!

Sigh. You just don't get it. And neither does bingbong. But ok, we are selfish jerks for not being gift grabby, entitled brats. LOL.

momthatlifts

My mom had one with my little sister but we were 6 years apart. It doesn't really affect my life in any way if someone has a baby shower two years a part from another. Do what you want!

Erica314

rscampbell said:

So then I'm assuming you invite friends & family to your child's birthday party,,, usually expected to bring A GIFT!!!

If you don't want to attend a person's second, third... baby shower cause you think it's tacky, it's your business & right to just not go!! You all seem like selfish jerks to me. No different than "celebrating your child" with a birthday party expecting a gift!

Wait, why are you attacking our views which were asked for by the OP?  If she didn't want opinions on whether or not another shower was appropriate, she wouldn't have posted, smartypants.

And yes, if you want to be an entitled princess and beg all of your friends to pay for everything you need to rear your child then you surely can throw another shower.  No one is saying we are going to come burn your house down if you do - just expressing that clearly a good chunk of people see baby showers as welcoming the MTB to motherhood and not about the baby.  If it was a party for the baby, why wouldn't it be held after the baby was born so that s/he could attend? 

For the record, I do think there are certain circumstances in which a second shower is alright to accept.  A mother wanting one after having a child of the same sex only two years ago is most definitely NOT one of these circumstances.

momthatlifts

Meery82 said:

rscampbell said:

So then I'm assuming you invite friends & family to your child's birthday party,,, usually expected to bring A GIFT!!!

If you don't want to attend a person's second, third... baby shower cause you think it's tacky, it's your business & right to just not go!! You all seem like selfish jerks to me. No different than "celebrating your child" with a birthday party expecting a gift!

Sigh. You just don't get it. And neither does bingbong. But ok, we are selfish jerks for not being gift grabby, entitled brats. LOL.

Hehe I like the irony in that

fsumom

I have an idea!  If someone offers to throw a second, or third or fourth time mom a shower and you don't want to go, then don't.  I certainly hope I don't offend any of my family members that possibly offer to throw me one by saying that it's portrayed as tacky and that I'm not sure if I should accept their offer.  It's hard to read minds, and I'd hate for anyone to feel obligated to come.