2nd Trimester

Does anyone's DH work away from home?

I'm a SAHM to a 3yo and I'm due with #2 in May. My husband works as a heating /air-con (HVAC) tech. We live in Vancouver BC ( the most expensive city to live in) and thought the only way to really get ahead would be for him to work in middle of nowhere northern Alberta. A rotational shift. He'd work 10 days then be home for 10 days ( it would be like mini vacations every 10 days). His pay would double, great benefits and even flights to and from are included. It sounds good & promising but I'd basically be a single mom for 10 days straight. And what's it going to be like with baby#2? I'm lucky that I have family less then 5 min away and have lots of friends around. So I'd have the help. Esp when baby 2 comes along. I'm actually more concerned about how my son will react. I'm wondering if anyone's husbands work away and how you deal with it. And esp how your children are dealing with it. My son idolizes DH. He does work a lot during the week so DS only sees him about an hour or 2 each day during the week. This way he would have nothing to do during the 10 days he's home. What are your pros and cons?

Re: Does anyone's DH work away from home?

  • My parents were home every day but we were fairly poor & I honestly don't think I would have minded if one of them took a job that kept them away from home if it meant more money. On the other hand, my husband's dad was a sales rep, so he spent long periods away from home and my husband says he hated it. It could depend on the kid (I was sort of independent & introverted, it didn't matter to me who was home as long as I could read my Babysitter's Club books & eat regular meals haha). Sounds like your son isn't that kid, at least not right now.

    And of course, just as important is how you and your husband feel. Do you think your marriage can comfortably adjust to this new way of life? Do you think you would feel stressed out & resentful of the new demands placed upon you? Would the extra money afford you any extra opportunities at home (a hobby you've been wanting to take up, classes for fun or a degree?) For me, benefits like that would go a long way.

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    H e n r y  May 21, 2014

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  • We've been together for 12 years and we're pretty solid. His pay would go from $4500 a month to $9000 a month. Well worth the money. But he'd be working 10/12hour shifts. Would that kinda labour be worth it on his 36yo body? And immune system. It's a tough decision. He'd have more time off in a month then he does now.
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  • We live in Northern AB, it would be nice to move back to BC however BC is too expensive. My hubby sometime has to go to camp but it's not regularly. I say just move to AB ;-)
  • My DH is gone 3-4 months a year for work. He left Sunday and he's gone till March. This is the last year he is doing it though!
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  • We live in Northern AB, it would be nice to move back to BC however BC is too expensive. My hubby sometime has to go to camp but it's not regularly. I say just move to AB ;-)

    I couldn't do that move. I had a hard time moving from richmond to whiterock. Lol. My family is 5 min away. That makes it easier
  • My boyfriend work for NASCAR (Go Furniture Row Racing!) and is gone Thursday through Sunday every weekend starting mid-February through mid-November. About once every couple months, there are times where he is gone for 10-14 days because of car testing. 

    During the "off season" of mid-November through mid-February he works every day about an hour away and is gone for a few days every couple of weeks because of next generation car testing.

    While it's pain that he's away and I'm nervous about delivering in the middle of race season, the travel and being independent is something you get used to. It's not the best, but the way I look at it is that if he didn't travel, then I'd have to return to work and we wouldn't have the great life we have now!
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  • Adrd47 said:
    My husband is also military. He works 14-18 hour days depending on the workload, so even when he is home, we don't see him much and our closest family is 9 hours away. Between his regular deployments he has "mini deployments," which are around 1 month long, give or taks. It's not that bad, especially if you have a good support system around. If my husband and I were in your situation, i would definitely have him go after that job. Is moving to the new location a possibility for you if the new job works out?

    Moving to where the job is would never happen. Incredibly remote and cold. It's quite common for tradesman to work in the next Provence duing rotations. The usual time away for most trades are 14-21 days/ 7 off. So the 10/10 is actually pretty good. And he'd have more time off with us in a month then he does now. And the money!! I think that's really the seller.
  • My husband is gone 4 days a week. He's an airline pilot, and to be honest.. It works pretty well for both of us! Given, this is nothing in comparison to a deployment for those of you who's husbands are military (my dad was and I remember when he deployed) but its a consistent absence. Occasionally he will only have 2 days off at a time and then leave again, it depends on the month. It's been this way since we've been together though so I think that's part of why it works well. I'm honestly not sure how its going to be when our son is born. For him, this is how he will grow up, for me.. Who knows. I'm thinking it will be an adjustment (a BIG one) and I'm also a little worried that my husband will be increasingly upset about leaving each time once our son arrives. We talked about that before I got pregnant. We will see!
    Good luck! I wish you the best!
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  • My DH and I are both musicians who often work for several mths in different foreign countries. Once the child is here this will have to change as we will absolutely need to be in the same location to swap on childcare and work- there are no family or close friends to help. It's been a challenge to imagine a complete lifestyle and job change, though it will be necessary. Do babies change everything? In my case - yes, most every little thing! Be strong, ladies. It's our duty to cultivate peace within our own selves no matter what comes and tries to disturb it. 
  • My husband is military and we lived in Alaska for a while where slope work (two weeks on, two weeks off) is very common.  For that money, it's probably worth it.
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  • This is typical for my life. DH travels a ton. Right now every other week for ten weeks. And on the normal times he is home DS is only awake for 2 hours before bed. Starting in January he will be gone the full month and I am waiting to find out if it's feb and march as well. I am noooooot looking forward to it. I don't have family around and I work full time. So I just need to make due. Stinks big time so taking advantage of DH help the next two weeks. I can deal with him being gone. The only times it's hard is if DS gets sick or it something was to happen to me at the end of this pregnancy which I am hoping is not the case. Hang in there!

    Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born. 

    6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived

    10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP 

  • Tassie06 said:



    We live in Northern AB, it would be nice to move back to BC however BC is too expensive. My hubby sometime has to go to camp but it's not regularly. I say just move to AB ;-)




    I couldn't do that move. I had a hard time moving from richmond to whiterock. Lol. My family is 5 min away. That makes it easier

    Fair enough I get it! It sucks up here haha it's super cold.., I came from Kelowna so I know how you feel
  • My DH is in the military as well with a schedule that often sends him away. There are times it sucks. He misses a lot in my and DSs lives.

    BUT... We do well because of it. With Skype and email we can be in touch. Tons of people in the world work night shifts and miss ever dinner with their family

    What is the contract like? If it isn't working for your family after 3 months could he get his old job back?

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

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