Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

How can it be another year and I still don't have a baby

I don't know why I'm having such a bad day today, I was so excited to start the New Year, a fresh start, but I can't let go, I feel blue :(  I thought I was ready to move forward but I realize I don't want to, I just want this baby, my baby.  I don't even know what I am going to do tonight.

Here are my 2 choices tonight.

1. Stay home by myself and wallow in my pity and bring in the New Year alone.

2. Go to my BFF and hang with all of my close friends.

Now I know #2 sounds like the right choice but you have to understand, at my age all of my friends have kids (some are already done, they have 2, 3 or 4 kids and aren't having anymore which blows my mind because I don't even have one), so I'm going to a couple/family party where it will be all spouses and their kids.  And oh yeah, DH won't be there, he is a federal officer and has been working obnoxious hours.  He starts at midnight, so he got off at 1 pm today working 13 hours just to have to be back at work at midnight tonight.

I was so excited yesterday (I even bought glitter eyeliner, it is so cool Smile) but now I have just been dreading this party all day and just feeling sad from the moment I woke up.  I don't know what to do, I'm not ready for this year to be over, to have another year pass and feel sad.

Sorry this is so depressing.

Re: How can it be another year and I still don't have a baby

  • I love ya girlfriend! I think you should do what is best for you ( I know that doesn't help), if I were you I would go, and if it gets too hard you can always leave. I'm sorry you have had such a bad day, and I just know that 2009 is going to be amazing for you!
  • So the kids will be at the party? 

    Well, you need to do what is right for you, but IF it were me, I'd probably not go...especially w/o DH.  Sorry, but that's what I'd do.  Maybe go get some wine (not sure if you're ttc), a good movie, junk food, whatever.  Have a good night either way. 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 1st m/c July 2008, 2nd m/c December 2008, Baby boy born in 2009!, 3rd m/c (c/p) June 2011, 4th m/c September 2011
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  • I don't know what it is today, right now I'm just in tears and can't stop.  I wasn't even like this on Christmas.

    Thanks for the support, you know I luv ya too!

  • I'm sorry.  You do what you need to do - and if that's stay home, then do it.  Tomorrow, we'll start a new year with a new outlook.  But, that said, the times that I have forced myself to go out and be with my friends - it was really good for me.  Same types of situations - totally dreading it - but then you get there and they are your BEST friends - and it takes you out of the grief for a while.  Hugs to you either way!
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