In a bit of a pickle...

sarabentleyyy

First time mom here. I am due March 6th. I live in Michigan and my only immediate family lives in Tennessee and Florida.

My sister in law wanted to throw my baby shower for me but the only time my family can get off is the week after Christmas.... So they want to hold it December 28th.... Is it just me, or is that just make no sense? Not to sound selfish but everyone will be broke from Christmas, have family in town, or be out of town. I know it's the only time my immediate family could be there for a baby shower but does that mean I should give up having a good first baby shower with gifts and friends?

I thought about just having this one with just my family and then another closer to my due date with friends and coworkers (most my friends are out of state as well) but I know it's considered rude for the mother to be to throw her own shower...

I don't know what to do! :[

Mimaloo

Isn't their willingness to throw a shower AND travel for it a nice gift?  I'd be super grateful if people traveled to throw me a party.  

dufferoo

I agree that's an inconvenient time to have a shower, but if it's your family that is throwing it, and that's when they want to have it, it sounds like you don't have much of a choice in the matter. Either accept or decline the shower as it's offered. And don't worry your pretty little head about a second "friends" shower unless somebody asks if they can throw you one.

BallSox

Joy2611 said:

somerandomchick said:

I understand you're concerned about everyone being out of town but you sound kind of entitled worried about everyone being "broke" from Christmas and not able to buy you a good enough gift...

Um, yes.  I *definitely* got this vibe, too. 

You're not the only one. 

Bottom line, they know you're having a baby and likely have allotted money already for it.  Honestly, who is to say that they won't send you something closer to your due date? I'd rather have a giftless shower with close family than soliciting everyone to travel again (more expense on their part) or to have a shower without family there.

dragossoul84

I'm sorry if I'm wrong but you sounds super gift grabby. I think instead of worrying how much people have to spend on you you should worry about spending time with people you love

laurakaz13

We threw my SIL's baby shower during Christmas week and it was beautiful.  Everyone came and she got plenty of gifts.  Just accept it and be gracious.

sarabentleyyy

My main concern isn't the gifts, so I'm sorry if it came across that way. I know if I was unable to show up to a party with something I would feel bad. I don't want to put people in that situation, of having to plan in my baby shower around a family holiday or not wanting to come because of a money restraint or something like that.

The only family coming into town to the baby shower would be my brother, sister in law, and mother. And they had this trip planned prior to my pregnancy so it's not a special trip just for the baby shower. I just don't want it to be us three after my sister in law went through a bunch of planning. I do not want her to disappointed either.

Cranang

sarabentleyyy said:

 Not to sound selfish but everyone will be broke from Christmas, have family in town, or be out of town. I know it's the only time my immediate family could be there for a baby shower but does that mean I should give up having a good first baby shower with gifts and friends? I thought about just having this one with just my family and then another closer to my due date with friends and coworkers (most my friends are out of state as well) but I know it's considered rude for the mother to be to throw her own shower... I don't know what to do! :[

So what you're really worried about is that people won't have money to spend on you?  You can back pedal now if you'd like, but the fact is when someone writes "but does that mean I should give up having a good first baby shower with gifts", it's had to imagine that you meant anything else.  What is GOOD about a baby shower is that people took time to come celebrate you...it's not about how good the haul is.

redhead610

Do people usually go absolutely broke over Christmas? That sounds like poor planning. I imagine most people have some type of budget? I mean, we are by no means rich, but I could find an extra $30- 40 to get a shower present for a friend or relative.

EmeraldCity84

I read this more as not wanting guests to feel resentful of having to buy another gift immediately after they just had Christmas. 

neverblushed

If you were my friend or relative, and you were only going to be in town around the holidays, I'd expect that your hostess would schedule your shower around that time.

I hope people aren't so broke after Christmas that they can't attend a baby shower!

MMason12

Joy2611 said:

somerandomchick said:

I understand you're concerned about everyone being out of town but you sound kind of entitled worried about everyone being "broke" from Christmas and not able to buy you a good enough gift...

Um, yes.  I *definitely* got this vibe, too. 

That's exactly the vibe I got too!!  It amazes me how many First Time Mom's find it the responsibility of every one else to buy their baby stuff. 

Twiggymommy

Not to be a bitch... But you made your self sound like a spoiled brat.

Accept the shower as is or decline and not have one. It's really not that hard.