Calling all STMs

Alana526

I myself am a clueless FTM and need some serious guidance. I started the registry process and my head literally spins exorcist style when I see how many different options there are for each item and how many items I need to register for that I didn't even know could exist! My main question is for the big ticket items. I don't feel comfortable registering for a ton of expensive stuff, so I want to know where I can register for an item that isn't exactly top of the line. I know you generally "get what you pay for" so we will get a quality stroller, car seat, etc... especially for safety concerns, but what are some things that I can cut corners with? Bedding, or is the cheaper stuff crap? Bottles?

HELP. Thank you.

Alana526

Oh, add gliders into that crap category - do I need a legitimate one or will a Walmart brand suffice? I like Walmart haha.

amhah09

Honestly you can cut corners anywhere as far as cost goes. You don't even have to get a $300 car seat. Bottles and pacifiers will likely depend on your baby but if you can buy cheaply then it's fine to do so. Some brands are recommended more than others and some items you can't get away with not buying at all, but you don't have to spend a fortune on any area. The only thing I ever recommend actually spending the money on is a double electric pump like Medela PISA for BFing moms going back to work.

pdilly2b

I would skip the bedding set. Just register for like 3 fitted sheets that you like.

Bottles aren't all that expensive. I think the Tommee Tippee set that sufficed for DH all the way until he started sippys was only like $20. Some babies are picky so I wouldn't register for a ton of the same one anyway.

Frankly, more than 50% of the registry suggestions from places like BRU are things you can do without completely. They put all of that stuff on there because they want to make money off of you. So instead of looking for knock-offs of everything, I'd make some decisions about what is necessary vs. not. For example, you don't NEED a bouncer *and* a swing. You don't NEED a bottle warmer or a wipes warmer. Might they be nice for some people, sure, but that's not the same as it being a necessity.

pdilly2b

For glider - again, figure out if that fits into your lifestyle and fills a need that your existing furniture doesn't. For us, we didn't need one. If you want one, Walmart should be fine, as long as you aren't expecting it to last 20 years.

Rrrrrachel

I think pdilly is right on. I think a stroller is worth a splurge, and a lot of things you just don't need at all!

amhah09

Ditto forgoing the bedding set. You can't use the comforter and the bumpers are a safety hazard. Register for several sets of sheets instead.

MamaFantastic

if you have a baby who likes to be swaddled, it will be important to spend money on a good swaddle system (either the swaddle blankets or the more specific ones that velcro or wrap around).  they don't have to cost a ton of money, but if you need them, you really need them!

a quality stroller is important to me.  a high end swing/bouncer/exersaucer/etc isn't important.  buy those things secondhand from local swap boards on craigslist.  heck, you can even buy your stroller used....  but invest in one that really WORKS for your lifestyle (whatever that may be...  jogger vs two kids vs compact vs lightweight, etc).

you can also buy a monitor used.  you don't need a video one - an audio one is fine.  if you have a tiny house or apartment, you probably don't need one at all.

don't register for sheets or towels...  you can just buy a few inexpensive/simple fitted sheets (at least 3) and call it a day.  same with baby towels...  you can just use your own, or buy cheap ones that aren't baby-specific or hooded.

the primo eurobath was a good investment for us - it was only $30 but it lasted us until he was almost a year, and it worked for laying him down as an infant as well as sitting him up on the opposite side as an older baby before he was ready to roam free in the big tub.

you don't need any fancy baby food making devices (freezer containers, beaba, etc)...  we used our regular blender and a $5 OXO covered ice cube tray.  the cheap plastic feeding dishes at walmart are the BEST for older baby mealtimes!  munchkin brand, i think...  and you don't need a baby food making book either.  just go to www.wholesomebabyfood.com for ALL the info you need!

agree about the booster seat at the regular chair....  the fisher price deluxe booster chair is the best!!

Rrrrrachel

Re bedding I'll add it's nice to have 2-3 waterproof mattress pads. That way you can make the bed pad, sheet, pad, sheet. If there's a middle of the night "incident" you just pull off the top two layers and the bed is automatically made!

fourthnlast

Forget the bedding sets; just get a variety of fitted sheets.

Carseat: We don't go top of the line, and have always been happy.

Swing: I love the swing and it's a lifesaver! 

Bouncy Seat: Same! 

KatieKim0815

You can cut corners on things like bedding sets. Bumpers and valances often come in those sets. You only need a crib sheet and maybe a blanket but you can't even use that until they're one!

I would register for bigger things even if for the discount alone that you can get on most registries when you close it! Also I had a group at my shower go in on a changing table together. So some people like to do that for bigger items. 

Mind you, our stroller (which is an Uppababy Vista) converts into a double and I knew I loved it and never put it on my registry because I didn't want people to know we were buying a $500 stroller. 

I am the type of gal that says to register for bottles and stuff but my babies weren't picky, really .Some are. I would say unless there's a blanket you LOVE don't register for those becuase you get a ton at showers. 

But I would put every single piece of gear you need on the registry and register at a place that offers a close out coupon!!

steph1977

Lucie's List has a lot of great recommendations!

AcaAwkward

If you haven't already, definitely check out Lucie's List (www.lucieslist.com).  She really breaks down things that are necessary and things that aren't -- and she also lists options in different price points. 

There are plenty of safe / great car seats that aren't ridiculously expensive. PPers have already mentioned bedding -- don't buy a set, just get some fitted sheets and waterproof mattress pads.  There are plenty of great cribs (check JC Penny, IKEA, Walmart).  You don't need "baby specific" furniture like a changing table -- you can buy a cheap foam changing pad with a cover and strap it onto a regular ol' dresser. I love our glider but it definitely wasn't a necessity for us -- a comfy arm chair or recliner would have worked just fine (or a traditional rocking chair with a comfy pad). Check out second hand stores or Craigslist for things like bouncy seats, swings, Bumbos, high chairs, etc. 

I wouldn't cut corners on a stroller and/or baby carrier -- I do think you get what you pay for there.  You can definitely find these second hand, but research brands that are going to fit your lifestyle. 

Alana526

Thank you ladies!!! Now I have another question, a bumper is unsafe for the baby? (Don't judge me for not knowing!) I knew the comforter was a no-no but the bumper too???

strawberrytree

Yes, bumpers are a no-no! They do make mesh bumpers but I think there is still some risk with them. We skipped them completely and used sleep sacks and DS has never once gotten stuck. Skip Hop makes cute sheets with designs along the sides so you get the bumper pad effect in the crib without using one, like this: https://www.amazon.com/Skip-Hop-Complete-Treetop-Friends/dp/B00650543C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1386635979&sr=8-1&keywords=skip+hop+crib+sheet

kwolslager

Bumpers are pointless anyway... the appeal is that it's "soft" for the baby if he/she rolls into it.. But they are so dangerous that it totally cancels out the "comfort" part. And either way, if you decide to put baby in a crib from day 1, the first few months she/he will not be rolling over so it makes having them pointless. Also when baby DOES roll over, if he/she gets stuck by the bars they will let you know   Also, all cribs (especially one you buy new or was made in the last few years) have high safety standards they must pass... such as the slats must be a certain distance from each other, no drop side (and even if it is drop side, there are kits you can get from the manufacturer to secure them).. and crib mattresses have standards too.

kwolslager

As for baby gear.. All must pass the same safety standards (car seat, stroller, jumper, swing, etc). So it doesn't matter if you go for a $50 one or a $300 one. You just have to go with budget as well as what you're looking for.

Some moms put baby in a convertible car seat from the get-go, these are nice as you don't have to purchase another car seat when baby surpasses the height/weight limit for a carrier car seat. I love the convertible ones, but for me I preferred the carrier for the first while, because I go to church every Sunday (for us church is 3 hours long) the carrier provided a comforting place for baby to nap or sit quietly during that time.

Gliders are something that you could purchase from craigslist, as it's something that YOU will be sitting in and using. I can't imagine someone setting their baby on the glider and walking away. So this particular item is something that you could purchase used / second hand.

 

kwolslager

MrsEll said:

When your baby wakes you up 8,435,297 times in one night because he keeps getting his arm stuck , you might decide a breathable bumper is worth a shot. Not judging anyone who doesn't mind waking up a bajillion times per night ( in addition to nighttime feeding wake ups). Just putting it out there that you're not a bad person for using a breathable bumper.

No one is saying you're a bad person. It's just that for many moms, it's not worth the risk. A bumper is still a bumper.

Bees Everywhere

There are always gliders etc on craigslist. You can look there too for local garage sales etc. We got the chicco stroller and a graco pack and play from craigslist super cheap, and people advertise church sales and garage sales there. I don't think I had big ticket things on our registry either, we just got them ourselves. 

missyishere

MrsEll said:

Also , your kid might have reflux or colic or just be a shitty sleeper. You might find yourself going crazy from lack of sleep. Maybe you'll decide to let your baby sleep in a car seat or swing or rock and play? Of course all the experts will tell you that's "not safe" and a baby should only sleep in a crib or bassinet. But you know what? You won't be the first person to buck the safety precautions so you and your baby can get some sleep.

I had a colic child I allowed to tummy sleep, which is told as "not safe".  When it comes to their inability to sleep otherwise, you do what you can.  She was also chubby who refused sleep sacks, so she had breathable bumpers.  

missyishere

And church for three hours? Thanksnothanks

kwolslager

missyishere said:

And church for three hours? Thanksnothanks

Best three hours of the week!

thepretzelchick

kwolslager said:

missyishere said:

And church for three hours? Thanksnothanks

Best three hours of the week!

As a Sunday School teacher, I can assure you that it's not the best three hours for everyone.

Also, by the time you might need the breathable bumpers, OP, your kid will probably be old enough and mobile enough to not keep their face smooshed in it. It can be on a kid by kid basis, but you'll know your kid, KWIM? So, hold off on buying any right now, but don't let others scare you away should the time come that you may want/need them.

Alana526

Thank you thank you!!! This has been really helpful and it made our bedding search a heck of a lot easier. You guys are awesome!

NotSharknado

Those sleep sacks are not for chubby babies. For realz.