No sex drive- when does it come back?

momthatlifts

Or does it ever? I have always had a really good sex drive. One dh couldn't even keep up with. But now sex just sounds so.... Lame. I have no interest what so ever in having sex with dh. And when we do do it, it's only because I feel bad and want to make him a little happy. I feel like I'm that wife already. Like I'm already not into sex like I used to be and just bitchy all the time. Does the sex drive ever come back during pregnancy ?! I would kill to have that drive again...

jodyen

so sorry to hear that, that has to suck! After my first baby I got my back a little to soon, but this pregnacy my sex drive is more intense...poor dh! the only suggestion I can say is if you don't want to have sex but ur dh does foreplay with him and "help" him. I've learn that having sex just to make them happy sometimes backfires and they find or figure out and it makes them feel bad....just talk to him let him know what is going on and see if you guys can do something about it

momthatlifts

I have I've told him I just have no urge. It's very unlike me too since I was like 13 year old boy going through puberty before. Did you ever get anything back during pregnancy or did you have to basically wait it out until baby was out?

jodyen

It depended on my mood, it was a 50/50 with me with my first daughter and with this one my sex drive is all the time..I believe it will just depend on you and how it affects you.

jodyen

But I belive you will get it back soon or at least after baby

momthatlifts

Well as long as I get it back I guess I cant complain. I just miss it to be honest - And (tmi) because I leak fluids it is just messy and I hate it!

PrimRoseMama

jodyen said:

But I belive you will get it back soon or at least after baby

Not always. Post partum hormones & breast feeding plus exhaustion can make sex the last thing you can feel up for.

You might get it back but really I didn't have any real sex drive until DD was weaned. The same is true for DS so far. BF makes my sex drive plummet.

momthatlifts

PrimRoseMama said:

But I belive you will get it back soon or at least after baby

Not always. Post partum hormones & breast feeding plus exhaustion can make sex the last thing you can feel up for. You might get it back but really I didn't have any real sex drive until DD was weaned. The same is true for DS so far. BF makes my sex drive plummet.

Man. I've heard you can lose it or you can get a pretty dramatic increase in one. I was really hoping for the opposite of what I have. It seems like everything dh does is repulsive. I feel like he "hangs" on me, and then his breath always smells bad to me poor guy

frasey

yeah not going to lie - haven't really felt like having sex since DD was born. How this new baby was conceived is sort of a mystery (ok not really, but I had to force myself.) And its been a while, now. I might force myself to take one for the team tonight. 

jodyen

Well I was just talking about my experience....Was just trying to give her some hope...hopefully all will turn out ok. There are times I can't stand to be by my DH but now he has 2 jobs, I don't ever see unless I stay up really late to see, so I guess because I do miss him it doesn't happen that often...sorry if I offended anyone

buganne

I'm about as neutral as Switzerland here at 18 weeks.  MS was so bad that any sex was off the table for me.  Almost lost it...during the act....(TMI I know) a couple of time.  Trying to rally, though, now that I'm feeling better. 

Hang in there ladies :0)

TeacherVicky

I'm still waiting for mine to come back. Like PP, I often don't want DH to touch me even.

Sadly, with DS1, mine didn't come back until I was done BF. That was when DS1 was about 13m. Even after that, I never felt the same kind of sex drive as I did before I was pg with DS1. So I also disagree with the other PP who said that it comes back when baby is born.

PrimRoseMama

jodyen said:

Well I was just talking about my experience....Was just trying to give her some hope...hopefully all will turn out ok. There are times I can't stand to be by my DH but now he has 2 jobs, I don't ever see unless I stay up really late to see, so I guess because I do miss him it doesn't happen that often...sorry if I offended anyone

No offense taken. I just wanted OP to know that it is individual & that your situation appears to be atypical from my observations/experiences.

Shoot, I say more power to you that you felt able & willing to bang that soon! I am doing better now but my first attempts at sex this last time around were painful & unpleasant. It's just now, at almost 4 months, getting to be something I'm looking forward to again.

Ain't no shame, baby, do yo thang!

jenb_99

Mine left when I was pregnant with DS and never came back.

bunniekrissy

For me, sometimes it got better, but not in general. I didn't have much of a sex drive until I got my cycles back when DS was 16 months old (still BFing). Then it was super high around ovulation. Then I got pregnant again, and my sex drive is even worse this pregnancy. Ha. At least this time I am confident it will come back eventually!

ScarsnStarsX

With my first pregnancy i was prepared to lose a decent amount of drive but it never happened, it actually increased. I could not get enough. Now with my second, i have not been as in the mood for some reason. But we do enough that it is not an issue. We both are satisfied. Good luck!

momthatlifts

Thanks. I just pray it at least comes back after baby