Used gifts — The Bump
December 2013 Moms

Used gifts

edited November 2013 in December 2013 Moms
Ok I admit, I am a huge germ a phobe so thrifting and garage sales etc are not my thing. Nothing wrong with them, I'm just weird about them and obsess about germs and bed bugs. My family member keeps purchasing used things for the baby that we don't need, toys, books, clothes, etc. A lot of it is things that cannot be washed even and they are dirty. I'm not sure how to nicely tell them to stop without sounding like a spoiled brat. But we really don't need it or want it at our house and they are just wasting their money, even if the stuff was only 50 cents. I feel badly and know they mean well and are just excited.

Re: Used gifts

  • Say thank you and donate it. </blockquote
    I thought about this but am worried when they come over they will ask to see the stuff or notice its not around. I just don't want to hurt their feelings.

  • Meh, you'll change your mind about used baby stuff in about a year
    Ummm...no. I have one 9 year old and this one on the way and there is no way in hell I would buy most baby gear used. Yuck.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers 
    There is another kid, she's 10... 
    [Deleted User]
  • Say thank you and donate it.

    And that's when you say, " we are so blessed and we wanted to pass on the generosity so we wanted to give to those who are less fortunate." Can almost guarantee that they will Get the idea and stop buying you stuff.

     

     

    AnsleyturnernotkateanymoreRNmommyof2
  • AnsleyturnerAnsleyturner
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    edited November 2013


    KateMW said:



    Meh, you'll change your mind about used baby stuff in about a year

    Ummm...no. I have one 9 year old and this one on the way and there is no way in hell I would buy most baby gear used. Yuck.

    If I can wash it or bleach it, I don't care if it's used or new. 

    And if I can't or think it's just too gross I donate it.


    This exactly. My FIL tried to tell me his grandchild would not be using used anything. I laughed and said 'if its good enough for me, then its good enough for him' as long as it can be washed, I don't see a problem. Now a breast pump or bottles or something of that sort is a completely different story.

    Eta: OP I think the other ladies have given great advice and unfortunatly I have nothing to add.

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  • I hear you. I couldn't use a single used thing! No way, no how. And I know a lot of moms say that I'll change my mind. But I won't. Either say thanks and donate or trash. Or just be honest and say you don't want any used things.

    Clients of mine kept wanting to dump their stuff off to me. Most likely they wanted to get rid of it and felt like they were doing a good deed, but no. I told them all that while I appreciate the thought, I just don't accept used things. People were understanding. I just didn't want the job of getting rid of stuff.
    image
    [Deleted User]Aycul18
  • KateMW said:
    Meh, you'll change your mind about used baby stuff in about a year
    Ummm...no. I have one 9 year old and this one on the way and there is no way in hell I would buy most baby gear used. Yuck.
    If I can wash it or bleach it, I don't care if it's used or new. 
    Well great, but not everybody feels that way and will stop caring. Anyway, she said it couldn't be washed.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers 
    There is another kid, she's 10... 
  • Most of the items we have are used with the exception of the crib and mattress I didn't mind used as long as I knew where it came from. Lots of family hand me downs that are in almost new conditions. I understand some people may not like used but it's alright to me.
  • @hercules03 you didn't reuse any of the items you already had from your previous children? I understand not wanting to use other people's hand me downs but your own? Seems like a waste of money
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  • If I could afford to buy new EVERYTHING I totally would have.

    Unfortunately we are not in that kind of a financial situation, so we did take quite a bit of used stuff, but most of it was from my SIL's first kid and is only about two years old anyway. 

    I'm super iffy about used stuff from people I don't know though, and usually won't take it or would just donate it. 

    I say donate the stuff you were given if you don't want it. If they ask later, could you tell them it got ruined or broken accidently somehow? Maybe not the best way out, but that's probably something that I would try to do lol. 
  • MIL is notorious for this. I don't mind using certain items that have been used by family members, but I don't feel comfortable using anything from a yard sale. DH finally told her that while we appreciated her thinking of our kids and buying them things, she'd be better off saving her money because we weren't comfortable with the idea of using baby gear that we didn't purchase from a store. She continued to do it anyway, so now we just take it all straight to the church down the street.
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    Aycul18
  • I will admit that I'm very iffy on things from strangers. I'm ok with using things after people I know and family, but complete strangers I am iffy on. Also, there were some things I prefer new... For example, I wanted a new crib, stroller, and car seats because this is our first and those are all things we can reuse when God willing we have a second.
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    leahraewku
  • We made a list of things we wanted to get new (stroller, car seat, crib, etc) and a list of things we would look for at yard sales (clothes, toys, bouncy, etc). MIL gave us things we wanted new (high chair, stuffed animals) from a day care and didn't clean them first. I washed the stuffed animals, which were sticky, and gave them to my dogs. I tried to throw away the high chair, but hubby talked me into giving it a good scrub and putting it in storage in case we ever have need for it (friends come over for dinner and need one, someone in need in the community). So I bleached and scrubbed and got all the dried up food chunks off, and down in storage it sits.

    Jill (36) Wife to Joe (36) Mom to: Alyssa (forever 10) Jacob (10) Baby Due 12/31/13 Pregnancy Ticker

  • I'm very picky about what I will take used for myself, dh, or baby girl. I'm a huge germaphobe and if it can't be bleached or washed in hot water I don't want it. I won't take a carseat, crib or anything of the like used. I never get used shoes, ever. Clothes are one thing, but they have to be almost brand new. And no, I won't change my mind in 6mo-1yr. I've been this way for 24 years, I don't think I'll change now.
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • As a FTM I also said I would never buy used items but that changed when DS turned about 9 months old and I found this really nice consignment shop (everything is like new or still has tags). I just can't see spending $9 on a pj when I could walk into this store and get the exact one for $3.50, especially when DS will outgrow it in a few months.

    With that being said, I do not do used clothes from garage sales from random strangers. Some toys that can be bleached down are ok but I'm picky on those too. I wouldn't buy any gear like pnp's, car seats, etc. though.

    My DH has taken things that my hoarder MIL has brought over and literally thrown it in the garbage in front of her. She knows she is not supposed to bring anything over without checking with us first. A couple months ago she brought over a box of dirty stained bibs she found in a flea market because they were a quarter. There was still hair caught in the Velcro :-& We threw them out in front of her and she got pissed. Oh well!
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  • Gosh I don't mind at all, I've really enjoyed the baby fairs they have every couple of months. We got the dressers and rocking chair second hand and they painted up great. Baby bath, baby gym and sling and quite a few clothes. I have a stack of mr men and golden books that mum kept all these years. And we'll keep going to the fairs for toys and clothes. Got a gorgeous singing robot for $4 that teaches memory games with music and colours. Plus you get a lot of people selling boxed never touched stuff. We got a Lamaze puppy for $2 with tags on still and a bouncer for $5 still sealed in its box
  • My advice is to just tell them how you feel if you don't want to deal with the hassle of having to find a new home for these things.  I don't have a problem with most used stuff, but I get grossed out when it come to people spreading germs.  One time my mom was eating ice cream from a cone, and offered DD a lick.  I nearly died.  I just decided to stop it right then and there.  I just said "No Mom!."  She was like "oh you don't want her to have this kind?"  I said "No, I am crazy about germs.  I don't want her licking your already licked ice cream."  So far she hasn't tried anything like that again. 
  • I went and bought everything brand new (only because it's our first) except for our swing and pnp. The swing came from a consignment store and was still in the box unused and unopened and same with the pnp. Both had never even been unsealed. I don't mind taking hand me downs as long as I know who they came from. I do have OCD issues with germs but I'm not as bad as some other people.
  • My advice is to just tell them how you feel if you don't want to deal with the hassle of having to find a new home for these things.  I don't have a problem with most used stuff, but I get grossed out when it come to people spreading germs.  One time my mom was eating ice cream from a cone, and offered DD a lick.  I nearly died.  I just decided to stop it right then and there.  I just said "No Mom!."  She was like "oh you don't want her to have this kind?"  I said "No, I am crazy about germs.  I don't want her licking your already licked ice cream."  So far she hasn't tried anything like that again. 

    Ugh! It grosses me out so much when people try to share food/drinks with DS (especially my in laws because they have horrible hygiene).

    A couple weeks ago I was in the mall with my friend and this old lady tried to give our boys (her DS is the same age as my DS) a half eaten soft pretzel! I said no thank you that they had just eaten lunch but she was insisting so much that I finally just had to walk away. Yuck! What kind of person offers a stranger a half eaten pretzel?

    image
    "Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it will elude you but if u turn your attention to other things it will come & sit softly on your shoulder."

    BFP! 04/26/11 - DS born 12/28/11 - BFP #2! 04/02/13 - DD born 12/11/13 -
    My Ovulation Chart

    image image

  • LP0198 said:
    My advice is to just tell them how you feel if you don't want to deal with the hassle of having to find a new home for these things.  I don't have a problem with most used stuff, but I get grossed out when it come to people spreading germs.  One time my mom was eating ice cream from a cone, and offered DD a lick.  I nearly died.  I just decided to stop it right then and there.  I just said "No Mom!."  She was like "oh you don't want her to have this kind?"  I said "No, I am crazy about germs.  I don't want her licking your already licked ice cream."  So far she hasn't tried anything like that again. 
    Ugh! It grosses me out so much when people try to share food/drinks with DS (especially my in laws because they have horrible hygiene). A couple weeks ago I was in the mall with my friend and this old lady tried to give our boys (her DS is the same age as my DS) a half eaten soft pretzel! I said no thank you that they had just eaten lunch but she was insisting so much that I finally just had to walk away. Yuck! What kind of person offers a stranger a half eaten pretzel?
    That is super gross!  My in-laws have also tried to give DD half eaten cookies, and bites of their food.  I just say no.  It totally grosses me out.  I would never try to give someone's kid a half eaten piece of food. 
  • LP0198 said:

    My advice is to just tell them how you feel if you don't want to deal with the hassle of having to find a new home for these things.  I don't have a problem with most used stuff, but I get grossed out when it come to people spreading germs.  One time my mom was eating ice cream from a cone, and offered DD a lick.  I nearly died.  I just decided to stop it right then and there.  I just said "No Mom!."  She was like "oh you don't want her to have this kind?"  I said "No, I am crazy about germs.  I don't want her licking your already licked ice cream."  So far she hasn't tried anything like that again. 

    Ugh! It grosses me out so much when people try to share food/drinks with DS (especially my in laws because they have horrible hygiene).

    A couple weeks ago I was in the mall with my friend and this old lady tried to give our boys (her DS is the same age as my DS) a half eaten soft pretzel! I said no thank you that they had just eaten lunch but she was insisting so much that I finally just had to walk away. Yuck! What kind of person offers a stranger a half eaten pretzel?

    That is just nasty. I wouldn't even have tried to be polite about it -- I have no clue who you are and you think it's okay to share food/germs with my kid?? People are bizarre.

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