Possibly one and done need support

kmm2150

tldr sorry - I have lupus and after having DD and weening had a really bad flare , like hospitalization required, tons of drugs that I'm still weening myself off of, 7-8 months later. I think a BIG part of that was me not taking my health seriously, being lazing about taking medicine, etc but still scared me - lupus is very hormone related so pregnancy can be a trigger.

Now, I've just found out tahr I likely have bone damage to my hip that could be lupus or medication related. Haven't had my consultation with ortho yet but what my pcp thinks I have often results in hip replacement.

I'm terrified that my doctors are going to say it's not a good idea to have another baby. I'm also terrified to HAVE another baby. I've just always assumed we'd hVe at least two, and I really don't know anyone who only has one. DD is the most fantastic, wonderful amazing thing to ever happen but it is so strange to imagine her not having a sibling -especially having a new baby cousin that she is OBSESSED with.

I don't really have a question. I guess I'd live to hear from anyone who was involuntarily one and done and what your experience has been. Thanks for reading! If you reply I will fedex you leftover pecan pie.

kmm2150

Yeah the weening: basically the flares are hormone related and if you breastfeed after having a baby that just keeps the mommy hormone levels going- so, whether you bf or not, at some point your hormones go back to non baby making levels and that's when a flare can happen as I understand it. So even if I didn't breastfeed it would have still happened. I may check out the one and done board, just post/lurk here more!

msdrdg

Even if YOU can't have a 2nd, what about adopting/fostering?

kmm2150

msdrdg said:

Even if YOU can't have a 2nd, what about adopting/fostering?

I honestly have always thought about adopting. There is a girl in DD's class who's adopted and her mom seems pretty open about it, depending on what doctors say I might start a conversation with her...as well as boards on here but it's nice to talk face to face. My parents also have friends who have a biological daughter (a little younger than me) and an adopted son, so they'd probably be good to talk to as well.