Facebook Vent — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

Facebook Vent

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We hosted my folks at our house and I made an amazing meal, we played board games, laughed, drank wine and watched my one of my favorite holiday movies.

And then I come back to my computer and mindlessly check out facebook for a few minutes and 1 out of the top 8 posts is NOT about babies or someone being pregnant. I know that none of my friends children or fertility has anything to do with my fertility but I was supposed to be 35 weeks pregnant right now and I try every day to not feel cheated and robbed of my sweet girls. Is it bad to just wish that people would shut the f*** up and not post about their babies? That is all. 

Thank you for letting me vent. I hope you all had an amazing Thanksgiving.
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Re: Facebook Vent

  • I hope when I am pregnant again I will feel like I can share the news on facebook but when you experience a loss at 20 weeks it is hard to imagine ever feeling secure enough to announce the news publicly without fear of something going wrong.
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  • If you don't like to see the posts, just hide them from your feed.

    I do that for people who post too many annoying things, like those recipes that have become the newest thing to share.

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    son#1 born 6/2010

    son#2 born 4/2012

    son#3 born 7/2014

    Vanellope
  • I agree with the PP's. I'm very sorry for your loss, but it's unrealistic to think that your friends with kids aren't going to post things about them, especially around the holidays. When I was struggling with infertility and seeing an RE, it hurt to see posts about pregnancies and babies. But now that I have a baby I post things about her all the time. My whole life kind of revolves around her, so of course she's going to be on my Facebook. Sorry you had a bad end to your day though.
    PCOS with long, irregular cycles
    First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 
    BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014

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  • I completely understand. A friend of mine is obsessed with her pregnancy, and has even gone so far as to host a contest guessing the "gender" of her baby. Those who guess correctly will be entered into a contest for a $10 Starbucks or iTunes gift card. Squeeeeee! She posted pictures of her parents eating their "gender reveal" cupcakes, but won't tell until Monday when the contest is over.

     

    :|

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    son#1 born 6/2010

    son#2 born 4/2012

    son#3 born 7/2014

  • I'm sorry that happened to you. It's not a personal attack but I know that when you've suffered something devastating things can easily seem that way. That's why I commenting, because I understand how it feels in way. My mom died 7 years ago when I was 25. Some times when my friends talk about shopping or holidays or anything with their mom it feels like my hearts been ripped out. I just have to remind myself that they don't deserve less happiness because I lost my own mom. And they aren't doing it on purpose. I agree with PP that you should either stay at from FB or hide the people who's post you can't stand. Because sometimes things are just too big for us, and that's ok. Good luck to you.
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    BabyFruit Ticker
    [Deleted User]catmagickangeltennis3
  • I have had a really hard time not responding with wooly mammoth or some other ridiculous answer, mostly because I have a really hard time with the phrase "gender reveal." You're not revealing the gender, people!
    Agreed.  I find this obnoxiously annoying. 
    ***********************************************************************************************
    #1 born 8/21/14, #2 & 3 (identical) due 9/27/16


    [Deleted User]
  • I feel so bad for feeling the same way a lot of times. Every time I hear someone is pregnant I cringe inside a little. Especially when I hear it was an accident. I don't meant to feel that way, but it's something I can't control. I think it's totally normal.
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    ladybuginl0ve
  • I have had a really hard time not responding with wooly mammoth or some other ridiculous answer, mostly because I have a really hard time with the phrase "gender reveal." You're not revealing the gender, people!

    ILY
       image   image
    *Your friendly resident herbalist.  Ask me for facts about herbs--maybe I can help!*

    TTC #1 8/2012~Chronic Pelvic Pain Condition began 10/2012~Told I was crazy by many doctors until a good specialist DXed a labral tear and bone impingement in left hip 4/2013~Surgery on left hip: 5/31/13  SUCCESS!!!  Pain flares to continue indefinitely (but mostly gone).

    Resumed TTC 6/2013~Chronic stomach pain and distension: 8/2013~TTA 1/2014 Until Resolved ~7/2014: Trip to the Mayo Clinic--SUCCESS!!  Finally on the road to getting better.

    Resumed TTC 7/2014!  Third time's the charm....8/2014 Visited the RE~DX: MFI/low morph~Straight to IVF with ICSI! 9/2014~Transferred 1 perfect beautiful 6AA blast with 10 to freeze!!!~10/8/2014: BFP!!!!  EDD: 6/17/15 STICK LITTLE BEAN!!! IT'S A BOY!!!!! 

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    [Deleted User]
  • PP are right that Facebook is the place to share your babies pics and such but with that being said I would feel the same way as you... It is a difficult time and it is hard to find peace in a situation like this. My sister lost her twin boys at 24 weeks and her due date just passed. We are all so heartbroken. She feels similar about Facebook and I tell her to avoid it but it is hard because you WANT to be ok with your friends happiness and it generates a lot of feeling when you are not ok.... I get it. Time does heal... I hate to say that because it bring little to no answers but it is true. Hang In There.... Thoughts and prayers for your angle babies

  • @BeeGirl2 ;

    Thank you. The conflicted emotions you describe are exactly right. I want and am supposed to be ok with other people's happiness and yet sometimes I am not. It creates a very complicated internal dialog. Thank you for understanding and I hope you and your sister are celebrating BFPs very soon.
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    Brandiwine14BeeGirl2
  • I understand these emotions entirely. It is a conflict of emotions as MrsMandy said, because I know I should be happy for them and am happy for them because I know how happy being in their shoes would make me. But I really don't feel happy for them as a first emotion, only jealousy and disappointment that it is them and not me. I think it is a natural human emotion so I certainly cannot judge anyone for it, but we just have to make the best of the situation. I'm so sorry for your loss! I have never been pregnant, so I do not know how that must feel, but I can imagine and my heart hurts for you <3
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