Struggling

ekc0630

So I was going pretty good emotion wise on this if roller coaster till....my baby sister eight years younger called me today in hysterics. She was so upset she just found out she was pregnant and didn't want to hurt me. I put my big girl panties on and was able to hold it together and tell her it was ok. She is allowed to be happy. I helped get find an obgyn and all. As soon as I walked out I lost it. Why me? All I've wanted for so long was a baby. How much more will I have to put up with. If sucks.  Anyone have advice on how  to be happy?

missmarypoppins

I'm so sorry. Being blindsided by a pregnancy is the worst especially when it's someone you love. How is it possible to be so happy and so sad at the same time

LadyBird9

I totally understand where you're coming from.  Let yourself feel the feelings you have... it won't get easier but you'll start to feel better...  ((hugs))

Twinkie0612

((Hugs)) I'm so sorry. I think you handled the situation better than most women would. If there is one thing I have learned over the last few years, it's that IF (and life for that matter) is not fair.

Km672

You're a great sister for helping her.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, it must be so very difficult. But, you did the right thing and you were so strong!!

Hoping its your turn soon!!

Sunny B

Oh, that would be so very difficult. I'm so sorry.

kz's_girlygirl

No real advice here-  a lot of the time IF means putting on a happy face around loved ones   That was really great of you to help her out and reassure her.  It's ok for you to be happy and excited for her, and still sad for yourself.  At least for me, my feelings aren't about other people most of the time- they come from wanting so badly what they have  and not knowing if it will ever happen. 

Take some space if you need it, and be gentle with yourself.  Your feelings are important and you have to protect yourself first. 

princessisadora

I'm sorry you are feeling sad. It's normal to lose it every now and again.

cachoque

I'm so sorry. I had something similar happen but w/ two different SILs - who I love like blood sisters. Like others have said, please know you are an amazing sister for keeping it together for her!   

kjf114

I am soo soo sorry. you are a good sister!! And it's the worse when close friends and family are scared to share the news because they don't want to hurt you. I find the best way to keep my peace is actually to isolate not sure if this good or not but has helped me pick my pieces up a little

Bredins wife

I am so sorry you are struggling with this. My sister is also pregnant, and it has been really really hard for me to deal with. They announced the name at my mom's birthday dinner on Sunday, and I had to leave, I couldn't keep it together.

I don't know how to be happy for her while I'm mourning our diagnosis. I feel like I'm putting a negative cloud on her whole pregnancy, and this should be a really special time for her.

I obviously don't have any advice, but I would love to chat if you ever need to vent about it, or cry about it, or anything.

**hugs**

ekc0630

Thank you girls for your words.  Today was much better for me.  I have to keep telling myself that it will happen!  Gotta keep the faith.

Nurisa31

I know exactly how you feel! My baby sister 6 years younger then I is pregnant as well and said she was scared to tell me. I also cried like you did when she sent me her sonogram pictures. It seems like the whole world is moving on having babies.

Aurora1181

I'm so sorry- it's tough. I also have isolated myself from friends and family.. But I've found that the only way I actually am able to move on is to force myself to be around them and confront my feelings. I might go home and cry- but it does seem to get easier and less scary the more I just make myself be around pregnant people. I'm still sorry that this is so hard. It truly does suck.

herecomesthesun

Aurora1181 said:

 it does seem to get easier and less scary the more I just make myself be around pregnant people. I'm still sorry that this is so hard. It truly does suck.

This is pretty much me. ALL of my friends and family members my age are either pregnant or have 1-3 young children. I've just really had to adjust my attitude because all it does it stress me out and doesn't make it any easier. Plus I don't want my them to have to walk on eggshells around me.

It sucks though and it's hard. It's taken me a long time to get to this point and it's sill lots of work even now. Hang in there. It's okay and normal to have those feelings.

ekc0630

I am ok with everyone else but my baby sister.  I am really trying to be happy for her but honestly I don't want to hear about your morning sickness.  You are 24 years old and married 1 month.  I'm 31 and married going on 8 years.  IF SUCKS!  I love her dearly and am trying to be as supportive as I can but it is not easy

Margritli

I am also isolating myself, and I am totally okay with it for now. I think that you are handling things really well and being incredibly generous. I am not sure that I would be able to do it as well as you are. Be kind to yourself and look after your needs.

rlk2

I'm so sorry. IF robs us of so much but I assure you that what you are feeling is completely normal. I've been seeing a therapist since my second failed cycle and it has helped tremendously. She always tells me to allow myself to feel these emotions...this is a traumatic time....basically, never feel bad that you are bitter or jealous at times like these. You are a strong woman and you WILL get your turn at happiness!

dreamingofdimples

That's so hard. I'm sorry.

KeepSwimming27

I went through someone thing similar last week. A very good couple friend of ours asked us to meet for dinner……I just had a feeling and even though I didn't want to go, DH said we should. My husband had texted our friend before dinner and said (as a preface) how hard of a time we have had getting pregnant…..they still announced it to us at dinner. 

I held it together somehow but as soon as we got it the car, tears started flooding down my face. 

It is sooooooo hard and sometimes it's easier to give advice than take it. I am naturally pessimistic (and hate that about myself) but I exercise, do yoga, acupuncture and see a therapist. I feel like this makes me feel as though I'm doing what I can, it keeps me busy, and it helps me feel better. I still have bad days, but it does help. 

The best advice I can give is to find some sort of activity that makes you feel good and do it religiously. I would also find a good support system, including this board……it helps me to know I am not alone and always have someone to talk to who knows exactly what you are going through. 

((Hugs))