Miscarried overnight :-(

IslandDoctor23

I was scheduled for my D&C at 7am this morning - been spotting and mild cramping for a few days but the cramps became horrible and by 3:00 this morning I was in enough pain to sit in the bathtub with warm water (just trying to hang in there until my procedure). Well within 5 min of getting in the tub fluid came gushing out and I began to fully miscarry, aside from the horrific pain I was surprisingly calm and somewhat relieved I got to 'hold' my baby no matter how painful that image will always be. 

Fast forward to now and I am an emotional wreck, I guess I held it all in until everything else was done. We are thinking of taking the fetus to a funeral home for cremation and the thought of giving my baby away kills me. I don't know how to go on with life so quickly when I feel shattered into pieces. I know so many of you were in the same position and am hoping you can shed some light on how you grieved and picked yourself up to keep going?

Campow83

How far along were you? God bless you for being able to pass it and hold it. I was terrified to look after I passed. I thought it might make it even harder for me to heal if I saw. Just know it's going to take time. You will have good and bad days. I'm about a week since mine and there are days when I'm good and then all of a sudden the tears flow. Just know it is normal to take all the time you need to grieve

IslandDoctor23

Thank you and I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss also. I would have been 13 weeks on wednesday but baby was measuring around 9 weeks - still very small but far enough to see many of the features :-/

meli9282

I am so sorry for ur loss.

A&A9222012

I'm so sorry for your loss **Huggs**

jlworden710

So very sorry for your loss. Hugs and thoughts for you

libby+nate

So sorry for your loss

kelcistanfield

I am in awe of you! What a strong mama to hold your baby. When I passed mine (found in my underwear), I began screaming for my DH to help me. I guess that translated to taking it all away because he scooped everything up and took the baby into another room. I'm just past 24 hours, now, and am regretting not holding them. I guess I was too shocked to know what to do, but the missed opportunity is ripping me apart. Do you regret doing what you did? Are you saving any ultrasound photos or memories of any sort? This is my first MC and I'm lost on what's next. 

You'll be in my prayers! Well wishes in the meantime. 

alm288

I'm very sorry for your loss! I hope you can find some comfort and support here. All the best. *hugs*

srcr2011

I'm soooo sorry for your loss! You are strong!

IslandDoctor23

Thank you ladies. I'm just nervous wondering if I passed everything, I see so many posts from others saying they still had to go in for a D&C after continuing to miscarry naturally for a while. Now I'm just having cramping off and on and much less bleeding. 

@kelcistanfield - I am so sorry to hear you went through this also, probably very close to the same time I was going through it. This was my first pregnancy and loss so I'm totally new to it all too - I don't regret holding it, as hard as it was I think it helped and I actually went back to look at it again with my husband. I cried but at least I'll forever know I saw it's little fingers and toes, perfect little eyes, and even the tiny bones from it's spine. We are saving the U/S photos and anything else we can think of because although I'll never see this little one grow it was apart of me for over 2 months and I never want to forget. My only regret right now is not being able to find out if it was a boy or girl - I feel like I need to know for closure :-/