distraught about weight gain :(

cwurzbach

Hi ladies.  I am just reaching out, because I am having such a hard time with the way I look as I am gaining weight with this baby.  I am currently at 24 weeks and I got on the scale this morning and I am right at 20 pounds.  I feel like that is too much with 16 weeks left to go.    My husband and I were at a wedding last night, and I honestly felt cute when we headed out, but as we took pictures throughout the night, I got more and more upset, because my face it so very round, compared to how it normally is.  I KNOW I should be gaining weight, I know I am being ridiculous... but I also think that 20 is too much for this stage in my pregnancy, and it makes me cry.

monkeybutt61612

Relax. If your doctor isn't concerned about your weight gain, neither should you. Not everyone gains the recommended 25-35 pounds, some gain more and some gain less. It sucks to look different and feel bad about yourself, but you're pregnant. It comes with the territory.

alphalyrae

It's important to acknowledge your feelings. If you are concerned about your weight, talk to your doctor and ask if they have a nutritionist you can talk to, that way if you are eating the way you should be, they can validate that you are doing everything the way you should be. If you aren't, they can help you get back on track.

ASmallWonder

Think about it. If you gain one pound a week from now until the end you'll have gained 36 pounds. The average is 25-35 so you'd still be pretty dmn close to average and averages mean there's people outside those numbers. Don't stress.

magentawarped

Talk to your doc...if he isn't worried, you shouldn't be either. I gained 40 lbs my first pregnancy, and most of it went away pretty quickly between breast feeding and the whirlwind of having a new baby. Don't stress it!

lesleygosooners

I'm right there in the same boat with you. You aren't alone:)

tinkiewinkie

I am 23 weeks and up 21lbs. I'm not concerned. I gained 41lbs with my daughter and lost it within the first 3-4 months. As long as I don't gain more than 50 I am happy

RondackHiker

Talk to your doctor, since distress about weight now and postpartum can lead to postpartum depression.

But also? You're pregnant. You'll gain weight. There's an average amount to gain but that doesn't mean those who gain more gain "too much", they just gained more than average, which was likely what their body and their baby NEEDED.

Your face shape and body shape will change. I'm SURE you looked cute last night. Please ignore the scale and put it away if it upsets you. Weight tells you very little about health. I've dropped two dress sizes in the past without losing a pound... Weight is not an indicator of health and not something you should worry about.

awc1986

Sorry to sound callous, but what do you expect? You're creating an entire human being and that comes with a lot of stuff. Of course you'll gain weight. Just enjoy the fact that this is the one time you can gain up to 35lbs in a few months and nobody can give you a hard time because of it!

Sscarolynedvx

I feel the same way and same thing happened to me... I went to a event and I was very confident when I left the house but when we started to take pictures I was feeling ugly and fat...My hubby actually likes the way I look and constantly reminds me how beautiful I am carrying his baby and it makes me feel better... I am now 26w3d and gained so far 37pounds... I've gained the most in the beginning and last month I only gained 3 pounds so most likely my gain will slow down. My doc wasnt so concern about it she only said to be careful cuz babies that are too big can lead to a c-sec. You will be just fine hun.

JennyCraig

Your weight gain will slow down, trust me. I'm an old pro at this now   In the 3rd trimester, you will not feeling like eating as much because the baby is pushing on your stomach and everything is just cramped.

gobbo1985

I'm right there with how you feel. Before I got pregnant I lost 45lbs and was feeling great. Wanted to lose about 60lbs but then I got pregnant. I'm 26 weeks on Friday and I've gained 20lbs so far and I'm always hungry. But I keeping thinking to myself that there is an amazing reason why I'm gaining weight. And I don't feel like I'm going over board either. Everyone gains a different amount so don't be too worried about it. And they say the first 15lbs comes off when the baby is born, between the baby, placenta, and all the extra fluid. But I know it hard to just watch te scale go up and up!

LEIGHLOVE09

As a STM I will tell you the weight will come off. Don't stress.

Whisperscloset

IM 26 WEEKS, AND GUESS WHAT...I HAVE A 20 POUND WEIGHT GAIN TOO....GIRL THAT WEIGHT WILL GO AWAY WITH ALL THAT RUNNING WITH THE NEW BABY...I PROMISE IT WILL...THIS IS MY 5TH, AND USUALLY I TEND TO LOSE MORE THAN WHERE I WAS AT PREPREGNANCY....NEVER FAILS...HOPE THIS HELPS...

meaghanjohnson34

I know how you feel girl, you're not alone! As everyone previously has said, at least its for a great reason and you're supposed to be gaining weight. That's just what I've been telling myself whenever I start to feel fat, I'm just looking forward to getting back to my work out schedule after I have the baby! Hang in there girl! I'm sure you look great still! 

jbb3cl

I gained 20 at 24 weeks as well.  I was feeling ok about it, but this month I think my weight gain will be on the high side, but I'm hungry...what can you do?  Everyone is different and carries differently...it's all for a good reason.

Rileypie

I have gained 20# and im only 16 weeks "> I try to eat healthy and walk, but I just keep gaining. Doc isn't worried so I don't worry. Don't beat yourself up, your body is working hard! And I'm sure you look beautiful!

jasrun80

i hear you! i gained ten quick(like in the first week!) with all my pregnancies and its no easier this time... if it makes you feel any better,, you lose 20 lbs overnight when you do have that baby so if i were you i'd still consider yourself pre-pregnancy weight at this point! also, not everyone gains like 10 lbs in the end week.. i gained little nearing the end but the baby was growing just fine so all is well & before you know it, youll be feeling amazing once you have your baby! 

the weight is so hard to understand because its all so new, but trust me,,, it comes off-- i know a girl who happily gains 80lbs during pregnancy being a gross arbys addict pig(her words),,,she admits that! and she is rocking out with her bad self now and her little on is just 2! its inspiring!

MayKay12

I am 21 weeks and gained about 20lbs so far. I gained 50 with my first and 40 with my second. I lost it all with both and was back down to my pre- pregnancy weight. I do not exercise at all either (unless you consider running after 2 kids). Try not to worry, it comes off pretty fast.

skunk1039

Don't stress about it!!  You are beautiful!!!  :x

physedgirl09

im 14 weeks and im up 15 from constantly eating due to nausea!! I feel your pain

Sammy230289

I feel the same. I'm a big girl anyway and a big concern of mine is weight gain. With comments from others can make you feel even worse like corrr I reckon your gonna get really really big ( cheers then ) I do try and let it not hurt my feelings but having a weight problem anyway doesn't help. When your not happy with the way you look certain comments do offend sometimes

SGC29

As long as your doctor isn't concerned it is fine. Our bodies are meant to change during pregnancy. Every change you're experiencing is to accommodate to this new life. Just remind yourself this is temporary. Not forever.

bunnysaidyes

I hate this advice, "if your doctor isn't worried, you shouldn't be either," as though you're some kind of bot whose fears, desires, and needs are entirely dictated by a doctor's opinion.  While we will all gain while pregnant, that doesn't mean we have to gain uncontrollably, or uncomfortably or more than is necessary.  

Though from what I have read its more of an art than a science, we only need about 250 additional cals a day while pregnant--that is the equivalent of about one yogurt parfait from starbucks.  If you're upset about your gaining so far, maybe think about what you're eating and how much, track if you can't remember, count calories for a few days so you know where you are.  I am about to switch to a practice that recommends/requires a pretty strict diet of no refined sugars, no processed foods (including pasta, bread of all kinds, etc), and encourages tons of fruits and veggies, with low fat proteins and whole grains (quinoa, brown rice, not whole wheat bread).  Its not an easy plan--if it were, we probably wouldn't have an obesity epidemic in the US!--but worth a try maybe.   

awc1986

@bunnysaidyes - so you're changing to a strict diet that cuts out or restricts certain food groups mid-pregnancy, just so you don't end up obese? Excuse me for not wanting to heed your advice. You sound like a crazy lady. During pregnancy, I think it's a pretty damn good idea to trust what your dr says, seeing as they have a degree in this kind of stuff and all. This isn't about fitting into a bikini. It's about making sure your baby is healthy. You should consider keeping your advice to yourself if that's the kind of stuff you come up with.

buganne

Everyone gains weight differently during pregnancy and for different reasons.  For example, my starting BMI was 28 (overweight), so my OB has been fine with me gaining about 6 to 8 lbs in 22 weeks. 

But if you started at a different point, that may be a different number for you, and that is OKAY.  Just remember this is a temporary situation, and at the end you get a great result.

The more important numbers to know are your BP and fasting blood sugars (from OGTT) since those convey more risk to the baby.

However, I do agree with the PP who suggested a whole grain, plant based diet.  That is good for mommy and baby.  I always tell my patients to fill 1/2 their plates with veggies, try to eat vegetarian 2 meals/day, more than 5 ingredients (not made at home of course) is too processed, and to avoid ingredients you can't pronounce :-).  For the most part, that is good nutrition!!

Stay healthy and positive.

kelli&dave

girl. i was in the exact position. up 20lbs and right at 24 weeks. at MY wedding. lol. i was definitely showing. but still managed to feel beautiful.

i gained 40 throughout my whole pregnancy! i am now 11 weeks pp and have lost over 30lbs and am feeling great. i still have quite a bit of belly flab, but everything else is pretty much back to normal. and i haven't even gotten back to working out yet.

Smores730

My advice is to make sure you're not eating with the "pregnancy card" in mind. Don't go back for seconds or fill up your plate more than normal just bc you're pregnant. Like already mentioned, you don't need a ton more calories a day.
Also to share from my own experience, my weight gain wasn't steady throughout either pregnancy. Some months I just seemed to gain a lot and other months not much at all.
And if you're not already, walking or light exercise will make you and your body feel better

sparkles98

I have also gained 20lbs at 24 weeks. I have since gained another lb at 25 weeks. I also struggle with it. But think about it this way even if you gain a lb a week you will only have gained 36lbs which is totally normal and healthy.

sparkles98

Not everyone who gains weight is just careless as one poster suggested. I exercise for at least an hour 3x a week and I really don't eat that unhealthy. I've been thin all my life I thought I could control it silly me! your body will do what it needs to do for pregnancy.

annabeanybee

I totally understand. With DS I gained 43 lbs and felt sexy and beautiful the whole time. This time, I'm not even coming close to the same weight gain, but I feel ginormous and gross. Just have to keep reminding ourselves that it's temporary! Hang in there!

BeesKnees181

Try not to let the bs societal cues ruin your beautiful pregnancy.  You are beuatiful because you are growing life inside you right now!  I am starting a prenatal yoga class to help me feel better.  Perhaps do something special for yourself; you deserve it!

mcgeeva

Don't feel bad it all comes off after the baby arrives. I just had my oh shit moment at the doctors office. Up 34 pounds and im 28 weeks WTF?!! So now..changing my diet big time - of course not dieting as in eating less - just better choices and less carbs.

IBackBevo

First, I think all of us are up a little extra after the holidays. I feel like I am carrying at least an extra 2 pounds or so in fluids from all of the salty foods. Also, if you are worried about it, try tracking your foods to make sure you are truly getting the most for your calorie choices. I also find exercise helps me to feel better, too.

pandadair

awc1986 said:

@bunnysaidyes - so you're changing to a strict diet that cuts out or restricts certain food groups mid-pregnancy, just so you don't end up obese? Excuse me for not wanting to heed your advice. You sound like a crazy lady. During pregnancy, I think it's a pretty damn good idea to trust what your dr says, seeing as they have a degree in this kind of stuff and all. This isn't about fitting into a bikini. It's about making sure your baby is healthy. You should consider keeping your advice to yourself if that's the kind of stuff you come up with.

She said this new practice requires eating fresh fruits, veggies, lean proteins and whole grains over refined sugar and processed foods. I fail to see what is unhealthy or "crazy" about that. I doubt many doctors would argue with cutting out refined and processed foods from one's diet, pregnant or not.

awc1986

pandadair said:

awc1986 said:

@bunnysaidyes - so you're changing to a strict diet that cuts out or restricts certain food groups mid-pregnancy, just so you don't end up obese? Excuse me for not wanting to heed your advice. You sound like a crazy lady. During pregnancy, I think it's a pretty damn good idea to trust what your dr says, seeing as they have a degree in this kind of stuff and all. This isn't about fitting into a bikini. It's about making sure your baby is healthy. You should consider keeping your advice to yourself if that's the kind of stuff you come up with.

She said this new practice requires eating fresh fruits, veggies, lean proteins and whole grains over refined sugar and processed foods. I fail to see what is unhealthy or "crazy" about that. I doubt many doctors would argue with cutting out refined and processed foods from one's diet, pregnant or not.

My point was that she seems pre-occupied with the thought of being "obese" and that comes across as vain. Is she doing this for her baby or so she doesn't get "fat"? It is a bit stupid of her to suggest she knows better than the medical professionals.

PrimRoseMama

elmoali said:

Think about it. If you gain one pound a week from now until the end you'll have gained 36 pounds. The average is 25-35 so you'd still be pretty dmn close to average and averages mean there's people outside those numbers. Don't stress.

Agree.

Gaining weight is a natural part of being pregnant. I don't think your weight gain is more than average. Don't freak.

KVGiovanelli

I am so glad to see this post to know we are not alone!! I have gained 15 lbs in 17 weeks and according to a weight table that's 3 over the max..I am so happy to have an excuse, but hope it comes off too! I was reading post about girls who aren't showing yet or only gained a few lbs and I was like what the heck.  I am showing hugely and had gained a lot of weight my first tri from naesea and eating..oh and the round face, yes I get it!!

jamiesmith81

I think you should be more concerned about having a healthy baby rather then weight gain. You are suppose to gain weight during pregnancy. Don't sweat the small stuff, I'm sure you lose the weight after the baby is born. 

reecespieces714

pandadair said:

awc1986 said:

@bunnysaidyes - so you're changing to a strict diet that cuts out or restricts certain food groups mid-pregnancy, just so you don't end up obese? Excuse me for not wanting to heed your advice. You sound like a crazy lady. During pregnancy, I think it's a pretty damn good idea to trust what your dr says, seeing as they have a degree in this kind of stuff and all. This isn't about fitting into a bikini. It's about making sure your baby is healthy. You should consider keeping your advice to yourself if that's the kind of stuff you come up with.

She said this new practice requires eating fresh fruits, veggies, lean proteins and whole grains over refined sugar and processed foods. I fail to see what is unhealthy or "crazy" about that. I doubt many doctors would argue with cutting out refined and processed foods from one's diet, pregnant or not.

I would agree with you, pandadair - sounds like a healthy diet to me - cutting out the stuff that adds little/no nutritional value for the baby.  Not sure I quite understand the minor backlash on her comments. 

Being concerned about your weight gain and focusing on a healthy baby are not mutually exclusive.  I would argue that awareness of and a focus on a healthy lifestyle (nutrition, exercise, stress etc.) helps to contribute to a healthy baby and is part of our role as 'incubators' (ha! meant tongue in cheek - and an ode to my MIL) for our 'little lemons/oranges etc..

Ashleypixie

I'm so glad to see how many of you feel like I do! I could normally blow away in the wind, but at 25 weeks I've already gained 25-30 lbs! And it's more in my butt than anything. I feel very kardashian. Or like a centaur. But it helps to look at it this way. How many times have you ever seen a pregnant woman and the first thing you thought was, "She so fat, she looks awful." Unless you're the worst person in America, probably never. People recognize you as a temporarily pregnant woman, not fat. And, soooo much of that comes off in just the first week or two. Like 15-20 lbs. and if you breast feed, you'll drop another 10 very quickly. I gained around 40 with my last pregnancy and couldn't believe how fast it came off with little effort. Hang in there. It's really hard to accept all the changes your body makes but it is temporary. Just a few more months to go!