June 2013 Moms
Achae
member
Dear letters
Achae
member
Dear LO,
Stop rubbing your eyes! Every.time. You're so close to passing out and then what do you know, you wake up when you rub your eyes. Stop it!
Love, one very tired mommy
Stop rubbing your eyes! Every.time. You're so close to passing out and then what do you know, you wake up when you rub your eyes. Stop it!
Love, one very tired mommy
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Re: Dear letters
Please nap in your crib tomorrow! Thanks, love you!!!! Xoxoxo
Hugs,
Mommy
Please have a talk and coordinate your night time shenanigans. LO, you should want your MOTN feeding while Daddy is snoring... Not after he stops and Mommy is FINALLY falling asleep.
DH, learn to use the cloth diapers. The time to object was before I bought them and tried to talk to you about it. Thanks.
Sleepy Mommy
P.S. LO, how are you sleeping through that racket anyway?
I love that you have a mini milestone a day, but your grip is getting stronger. While I love this my lips, chin and cheeks can't handle the pain.
Dear H,
Your great at most things but what I would like is for you to give baby a bath so I have 30 mins of alone time when I get home for work.
Is the little things,
Sorry about not getting up at 3. When Ty got up at 1:30 my brain thought it was 3!
And then sorry again for not getting up at 4 and saying "I was in there an hour ago"
Lesson learned here is H you are so good at soothing and Ty you can go from 1:30-5:00 without needing to eat!
Love,
Your sorrynotsorry wife & mom
#Bodymber14 #Bodygate #itsMillerTime
Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
Sorry I whisper-yelled at you last night for putting on your pillowcase too noisily. Yes, I do realize it's just fabric and then there's the whole shake shimmy thing to get the pillow in. But dude, I had just fallen into a deep sleep.
Love,
The irrational woman you call your wife
Dear Wyatt,
Hey bud. We're down to 3 night wakings. From 10. Is this the end of hell, er, wakeful. If so, I'll give you candy and let you play with Lucy's See n' Say. WITH the batteries in. Think about it. Blink once for yes, twice for no.
Love,
The face attached to the boobs.
Do not make crinkly noises in the bedroom when DD is sleeping! Take whatever it is you're doing into the other room. If you wake her up right before you go to work, I will cut you.
Love, your very tired wife
Dear DD,
Please get back on schedule and stop waking up while I'm in the shower. Wake up before or after; I hate getting out of the shower and hear you've been crying. It breaks my heart.
Dear dog,
I can't feed sissy and take you out at the same time. There is only one of me. You two need to get your morning schedules in sync again.
my read shelf:
Please stop feeling me up after I've fallen asleep! If you stopped spending so much time watching football and yakking with your mom/dad/cousin/friend on the phone for hours every night, you might actually catch me while I'm awake and get some action!
Love,
Don't touch me
Dear LO,
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for giving me a decent night's sleep last night. I can do two wake-ups a night. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but you saved me. I feel like a human again this morning.
So, let's keep it this way, ok?
Love,
Your (finally) well-rested mama
I just read the SIDS article that everyone was talking about a while. I would really really appreciate if you could go back to sleeping in your crib.
- love your terrified mother.
Dear H,
If you don't stop acting like a teenage boy with the video games while I feel like single parent I'm going to smother you with a pillow while you sleep. I already have a plan to tell the cops your face looked cold.
- sincerely your bitchy, ever plotting wife
Please get back on a normal bedtime schedule because not going to sleep until 1 a.m. last night was enough to break your momma.
Love,
Your exhausted mommy
Dear DH,
Stop staying up late doing whatever it is you do and then complain you are tired. You have no idea what tired is but if you want to know what it looks like...look at your disheveled, needs to shower, spit up covered and black rings under the eye wife.
Love,
Your ornery wife
3 hours total in my bed last night is just not enough. I know we love each other, but you CAN sleep somewhere other than my shoulder. Oh and the 16 minute "nap" you just took was a mean mean tease.
Love,
Mommy
Dear Hubby,
Stop snoring.
- me
The time only changed 1 hour not 3, how did you become so confused? We can go back to the old schedule. As a mommy that does nothing other than cater to your every need. We can be team Fu*k off DLS. Lets do this I'm sure nobody will care if we're an hour early to everything?
Love,
your I'll do anything you want mommy!
Dear J,
I am confused as to why you will nap on your own, for long periods of time at daycare BUT refuse to on the weekends with me.
I need to get cleaning done and you are not helping
I love you,