Anxiety

numbersgirl08

Things were going great until one night when N was 8 weeks old and she had a coughing fit and sounded like she was choking in her sleep. We ended up in the ER and were told she was fine and her body handled it on its own. But it was pretty much that day that I went from being a chill mom to one who was paranoid every night.

It has ebbed and flowed but getting worse recently. She sleeps next to my side of the bed and I am constantly waking up and staring at her belly to make sure she is breathing. Last night one time I thought I couldn't see her breathing and my heart almost stopped. I touched her hand and of course she moved and was fine. But that feeling was so terrifying. It's just hard sometimes to see their tiny chests moving in the dark.

I've been working on learning to trust God with her well being. I have done all I can - I follow all the sleep "rules" and there's nothing more I can do.

Anyways, just curious if anyone else struggles with anxiety as well. I've thought about getting a motion detector but I just don't think that will even help - heaven forbid the first time I got a false alarm. I'd be convinced it was real even after checking to see if she was fine.

I always thought I'd be a chill, easygoing parent. I dread the teenage days when she starts driving and going out with friends. Shudder.

KellenHi21

Yup I worry about stuff like that all the time... And after your post I feel kind of silly because I never knew it was anxiety until right.now. I always put my hand on ds' tummy to make sure he's breathing, I have nightmares about loosing him... Not fun.

Maelara

I have PPA. I totally understand this. N has had a few coughing/choking fits in the middle of the night as well and if she isn't sleeping next to me, I don't sleep. Even with her right there I still wake up and check to make sure she's breathing. I hope this gets easier! Creepy Internet hugs! You're doing great

Stef1210

I've slept on the floor in his room because of paralyzing anxiety. I get it. I know you said you don't want to get a motion detector, but it was honestly the only thing that helped (and still helps) me sleep. We have the Angel Care monitor that goes under the crib mattress. When I get anxious at night, I look over at the monitor and see the little pendulum on the screen swaying, and it eases my mind. We haven't had any false alarms (knock on wood).

TheyCalledHerKate

I worry all the time and was a worrier before I got pregnant. We have a video monitor and for the first few
Weeks of the crib transition we used the Snhza Hero.

TheTamedShrew

I still check E's chest/tummy multiple times a night, and we've never even had a scare. I don't know how I'm going to handle moving her to her crib/nursery and out of our room. I guess it's part of being a FTM? Now that she is past the age that has the highest risk for SIDS I think I might be ready...maybe...or maybe I'll wait another week...or two. I am THAT mom. *sigh*

Ryanswifey619

I'm like this too, especially after she's been fighting her nap and suddenly crashes. At night, it's much worse. DH makes fun of me when we talk about moving her into her crib, which is in the office in our room. Don't think I'm ready for that yet :-S

Lizzybizzy80

I agree with @ChicagoChic82 that it seems totally normal to check their chests rising and falling. I tip toe into my bedroom to check on B after he falls asleep to make sure his color looks good. My stomach has dropped through the floor a couple of times when I thought (incorrectly) that he wasn't breathing.

I don't find myself waking up in the night specifically to check on him, but he wakes every few hours on his own and I get to nurse him and see that he's ok. We also had some medical scares with B that made me hyper-sensitive for a while. Since it seems to be getting worse and you are waking up so much, you might talk to your pedi and see if they can give you any advice or reassurance to help ease your mind.

SIDS is such a nightmarish thing to think about but you've done all you can to make sure she's sleeping safely. Plus she turned out to be ok when you took her to the ER. Taking the infant CPR/choking classes helped me feel like I would be prepared to help B if, God forbid, he started choking or stopped breathing.

Sending big hugs to you and to @Ciahanna - that must be so, so hard on you staying up all night like that. I hope the anxiety eases for you guys and you can rest easy.

ilovemarfa

It's completely normal. I did it with my first and now I do it with my second. I actually still check on my 2 (almost 3 in February) year old when I'm up at night. Everyody told me that when you are a mom you never stop worrying and I think that is true. While SIDS is scary, there is really only a miniscule chance it will happen to your child. If you follow the proper sleeping recommendation (nothing in crib, on back to sleep until they roll on their own, no smoking around baby) you are doing what you can to prevent it. I just say a prayer each day snd night asking God to watch over and protect my kids.

tttwalters

I have PPA and have been seeing a counselor about it. I was checking on my lo constantly throughout the night and like @kellen@estevan mentioned, I would have nightmares about me loosing him. The counselor helped a lot, and I am seeing her for the last time tomorrow.

numbersgirl08

I'd probably feel better if she hadn't learned how to roll over back to tummy so early.  I hate it when I wake up and she's sleeping on her tummy practically face down.  She's always breathing though, so I'm sure she's fine, and she's definitely strong enough to move her head if needed.  Still makes me nervous.

And sometimes I wonder if I'd do BETTER if she was in the nursery.  Just because I wouldn't be able to check on her constantly while I'm in bed and I'd be less likely to wake up every hour to check her breathing.  Although it could just be worse because I'd still do that, it would just require getting out of bed and going to her room.  It's so funny to me now that we had planned to move her to her nursery at 2 months, and here she is at 4+ months, still in our room with no definitive plans to move her.  I think we decided that once she is proficient at rolling over BOTH ways (right now she just does back to belly), then we'll move her.  I have no idea when that will be - it's almost been a month that she's been going back to belly but hasn't figured out how to go the other way.

GingerBabyTX

I haven't read all the words yet (from others...I read all of yours).  I have actually been seeing a counselor for about 2 months because of PPA. My anxiety was crippling at times.  I also would pray about it and try to put it all in the Lord's hands, but sometimes I just needed help.  I would highly recommend talking to someone...see if there's someone at your church or in your community that you trust, because I know that counseling isn't always covered by insurance.  You definitely don't have to go through it alone.  You can also PM me any time.  It DOES get better, I promise.