Crazy family members

Allison217

So I'm having the first grandchild on both sides of the family-he'll also be the first great-grandchild on 3 out of 4 sides. So needless to say family members are excited. However, the comments family members are making lately are really getting under my skin. I get told several times a week that I need to "hurry up and have my baby already because they're (MIL/SIL) are tired of waiting." I'm due in 9 days and have an appointment set to be induced in 13 days in case he doesn't show on his own. I've had several relatives tell me I can't have him on such and such a day because they have plans and I'll ruin them if he comes that day, or I need to have him on this day because it wil be convenient for them. I can live with the constant MIL/SIL comments, but when my husband's grandma tells me that she's disappointed in me for not having my baby the same day her medical appointment (since she'd just need to walk up a few flights to get to the maternity ward) is where I draw the line.

I refuse to let anyone make me feel ashamed for my pregnancy/due date. I finally said something, asking them to respect my privacy and to please keep all comments to themselves concerning when they feel that I should have my son. Now my MIL and her entire family are telling me how ungrateful I am. Excuse me but I could have sworn that I am the pregnant one and that this is my child.

Does anyone else have this problem?

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

dglvrk2

I'm a lucky DIL.  I just got pure excitement from the IL's about our DD#1. They're stoked for DD#2, due in January too.

However, I got riff from my own mom for having a summer baby last time.  She and my father are semi-retired and spend a lot of time at their remote cabin in the summer.  She made a few passive comments about cutting into their cabin time....

When I didn't respond, she dropped it.

You have EVERY right to politely ask them to keep their comments to themselves.  Don't bring it up again. However, if they do, you don't need to respond.  Sometimes silence is golden.

Sorry you have to deal with this :-(

Allison217

My husband called some of the family members since they were blowing up his phone & he apologized to them! I was beyond mad about that. He tried to say that he was apologizing for how they misunderstood what I meant, but I've pretty much decided that I'm done speaking to them until after little man is born.

I told my husband that it's his responsibility to tell his family that we don't want any visitors the first few days after coming home from the hospital so that we can bond with baby and get used to being first time parents. I think if I say anything to his family the message won't sink in.

m88bloom

I'm way to outspoken I guess. I would have old them all the STFU and deal with it or good we didn't want you around anyway (in a passive joking way of corse). Every time I read one of these posts I'm so grateful SO doesn't have family around that I have to deal with. Sorry you have to deal with all the annoying comments. 

SweetPea0902

My sister has said in passing that if I have my son around New Year's I'll ruin her plans, since she's having a party and lives on the east side of Michigan and I'm on the west. I just looked at her and said it's possible since my EDD is Jan 3. People need to step outside themselves and realize that your baby will come when your baby is ready to come. They shouldn't make you feel guilty because it wasn't like you and your DH sat down and said we want this due date so we need to get pregnant on this date. A new life is something that should be celebrated no matter what. And that's what I'm telling myself since my side doesn't really seem to want to celebrate this first great-grandchild at all.

DreamDisney

Omg I was due yesterday and I'm ready to leave the country with the stupid comments. I'm close to snapping. Each day I'm told "when" to have her or what I "need" to do. Yesterday I finally posted on Facebook I was happy she just wants to stay in mommy.

dglvrk2

I posted earlier......Again, I think you have every right to speak up.  Just another thought.....sometimes people think it special for a baby to be born on a certain date or they're trying to be funny.

Case in point, my dad's parents go married a few days after DD #1's due date (in the 1930's).  Their wedding day was also my grandfather's birthday.  It would have been exciting for them to have her born on that date since it is so special to my family already.  The first few times I heard it, I thought it would be cool too.  They stopped talking about this before it got old, fortunately.  (I had a scheduled C-section since she was breech and they would not let me go past 39 weeks.)

My parents, I think, were trying to be funny about DD#1 cutting into their summer cabin time.  Nevertheless, this was never funny to me and it did get old.  I consistantly had to remind myself that they were trying to be funny/sarcastic whenever I felt like snapping. 

Allison217

Not gunna lie, the asshats comment made me literally laugh out loud at work during my lunch & instantly made me feel better. I've decided that I'm going to keep away from the IL's until my son is born. What's been great since then is that they won't talk to me, they'll talk to my DH but I don't mind at all that they are leaving me alone. Believe me I wanted to tell everyone to STFU, but I seriously bit my tounge since we're still trying to work out who might watch the baby on certain days throughout the week when I return to work.