I met my husband in 2007 in basic trng and later reconnected in 2010. I got stationed at the same base as him and married in 2011. We have a son who is 1 years old. We have an awesome relationship with the exception of the few fights every blue moon. My husband has anger issues which he promised to work on. Four weeks ago he refused to bath the baby (I asked him to bath him so I can go out and get him some bar b q he wanted) and cursed me out and I left (3 things I told him I won’t tolerate-disrespect-cheating-or physical abuse) and I packed up my stuff and my baby’s stuff and left in hopes to stay at a hotel and cool off. 30 minutes later I came back telling myself I should go back and try to talk it out. I came back and he said he doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t trust me not to leave anymore. He left for a week and came back after me begging him to try to make our relationship work. Two weeks later he says he isn’t happy here and wants to leave. I am currently 2 months pregnant (this was a planned baby). The only friends I have here are the friends we share. I’m a family person and love to spend my time with my husband and baby. Now I am torn and heartbroken. After being put through the ringer for over a month I finally decided something has to be done. I told him I don’t WANT a divorce but I feel it is needed. He told me he doesn’t love me like he used to or respect me as his wife so I feel like I’m the only one fighting this battle to keep our marriage together. I feel that he needs to want it just as back for us to make it through this. So I told him we need a divorce and I also need him to move out so I can grieve heal and move on. Do you think I did the right thing? Should I still try to make it work even though he doesn’t? I have no one to talk to so I’m just looking for some support or advice.
Re: Pregnant and my husband wants a divorce!!!
Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!
Baby Dust To All!!!
I don't know what to tell you, but I am sorry you are going through this. Perhaps counseling would help? If he isn't willing to go with you to work on the marriage, maybe it might at least help you to move on...
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Personally, he doesn't sound like too great of a guy to just leave you...pregnant and for no reason but "I don't love you anymore." Why plan a baby then two months ago? Again, I am so so sorry.
Going into marriage I knew it would be hard because we were young, but I knew that we had something special and marriage wasn't something we would just throw away if it got rough. In
a last hope effort I told him we were going to counseling. That saved our marriage. We learned to communicate and to actually talk when something was bothering us. We really fell in love again.
We are now happy and stable in our marriage. Sure, we still argue and have issues in our marriage. But it's a million times better. I also agree with the PP, love is a decision you have to decide how you treat someone.
From the sounds of it, your husband seems to be suffering some level of depression. In the reading I have done on male depression to further understand my husband, this is often displayed as anger. Have faith and stay strong. You are doing the right thing for you and your baby even if it doesn't work out. Good luck!
I've been married to my H for 8 years, we met in the Army and shortly after deployed to Iraq together. My H is a combat medic and had an extremely hellacious time during deployment. After returning from deployment he was diagnosed with PTSD.
It's extremely difficult to be married to someone with PTSD. I, also, was diagnosed with PTSD. We had a tumultuous relationship for the first few years. A few years ago we discussed divorce, but, my boss (who was also my lawyer) suggested counseling.
I can't even say how much it's helped our relationship.
I hope counseling works for you guys. My T&Ps to you.