How do I ask my mother to back off?

almeada

I need some advice.  My due date is Nov. 5th (two days away) and my mother is pushing me to make plans for Thanksgiving.  She wants to know when would be a good time for her to come to our house so I can make her Thanksgiving dinner weeks or possibly days after giving birth!  When she mentioned making plans I told her we were playing the pregnancy/newborn card and opting out of making it this year.  Now she wants to know when she can come down and either have us go out or make dinner at our house.  She's just not getting it.  She's going to be here when we give birth and also has plans to be in town around the 14th.  How do I get it across to her that Thanksgiving isn't happening at our house without being rude or hurting her feelings?

megs1409

Just tell her that you're new family is going to skip out on the traditional Thanksgiving this year. Maybe stress you're looking forward to Christmas, etc., but for Thanksgiving, you'll have enough on your plate to worry about that prepping for a meal isn't in the cards this year.

Good luck.

PB102012

I absolutely agree with PP. My LO is ten weeks old, and things are still up in the air when it comes to plans at our house because she is so used to a quiet house and doesn't do well a lot of people making noise. People still don't understand why we are hermits at night. Whatever you feel comfortable with is what goes, if you have to, be brutally honest, sometimes that's what it takes.

pb&jojo

It sounds like you may need to be a blunt with her. She should understand, but if she doesn't, I'm sure she will get over it. Is she going to watch, feed, care for lo while you cook? Also, with a newborn, it is probably safe to day you won't be able to just sit down and eat together like you used to. You will be working around baby's schedule. My husband and I still end up taking turns eating most nights. I think you're head is in the right place to be thinking that it may be too much to host the holiday.