Due date buddy (and very dear friend) m/c yesterday — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

Due date buddy (and very dear friend) m/c yesterday

and I'm having such a hard time.. I'm heart broken for her and at the same time still so scared I might have the same end.  I try to keep my mind away from that, but I'm 6 weeks and still no morning sickness (I know could mean nothing.. but you know.. I I don't like not having it)  Never thougth I'd want to be puking.. I know those of you who are super sick think I'm crazy...  I just keep telling myself my exhaustion is a big sign. 

anyway, I'm worry she will be sad everytime she sees me and things about hte baby.  (which makes me cry.. guess thats another sign-the non stop tears today)... anyway.. sorry this is more of just a vent...   

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Re: Due date buddy (and very dear friend) m/c yesterday

  • I'm so sorry. My BFF was 5w behind me and lost her pregnancy earlier this month. She's still appreciated having me available because I'm the only one of the group that had previously had a loss. We do tend to talk over the phone because we're hours apart, but that keeps my growing belly out of sight. I hope your friend is still able to lean on you.
    *Married 10.10.08*
    TTC #1 9.09 - BFP#1:2.18.10= missed m/c, D&C 4.16
    BFP#2:10.22.10=Avelin born 7.2.11
    TTC#2: 2.13 - BFP#3: 7.25.13=Kelsey born 3.31.14
  • If it is any encouragement, my best friend and I were on the infertility track together. Then I got pregnant first, and I know it was really hard for her. But then I also lost the pregnancy. Then she announced to me about 7 months later on my birthday that she was pregnant, and I was so sad at the time. But eventually I became so excited to share in her joy and to see the miracle of her pregnancy after 2 years of trying. Her baby was just born yesterday, and I feel like a proud auntie :)
    Jackie (26) & Josiah (28) married December 27, 2009
    TTC #1 since August 2011
    BFP #1 3/27/12, EDD 12/9/12, Natural miscarriage at 5w2d on 4/7/12
    Diagnosed with PCOS 7/1/13
    Pursuing adoption from Ethiopia 7/2013-currently on the wait list! 
    BFP #2 9/16/13, EDD 5/28/14 Beta #1: 363, Beta #2:876, @ 7w1d Heartbeat:147
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  • Also trying to offer some encouragement. My BFF was 5 weeks ahead of me, due this last June when I was due in July. When I lost my baby it was a little hard, but I was sad for myself and not mad at my friend or sad that she was still pregnant. I lost 2 babies during her pregnancy, but I was genuinely excited for her and was actually the first person to hold her son after her husband in the delivery room. I think about the babies I should be raising, but I don't compare my losses to my friend's son or get sad when I hold him or see him. So your friend may struggle with this or she may be fine or eventually be ok. Everyone is different.

    It's hard not to worry that you'll have the same experience or that your friend will have a hard time. You just have to be optimistic for your LO and future and be as supportive as you can for your friend and you're already doing that :)

    BFP #1 11/19/12  EDD: 7/25/13  Natural MC on 12/31/12 at 10w4d

    BFP#2 3/1/13   EDD: 11/5/13   Missed MC 4/9/13 at 10w   D&C 4/11/13  
    Baby #2 diagnosed with Trisomy 16. Diagnosed Hetero MTHFR.

    BFP#3 8/5/13   EDD: 4/13/14   Team Green Turned Team Blue! Our rainbow baby, Griffin R arrived via c-section (breech since 20w) on 4/11/14. 



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  • So sorry about your friend's loss. I had my loss while my best friend and I were pregnant together, she was 6 weeks ahead of me. At first yes, it was hard but I took more comfort in her friendship than I felt sorrow when I would see her bump. Comes and goes of course but just hang in there and be there for her when she is ready and needs it.
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  • I am so very sorry for your friends loss. I don't have any advice PPs haven't offered, but I wanted to offer sympathy. That's so hard for you both.

  • I'm so sorry for your friends loss and I'm sorry that your PGAL brain is getting the best of you.  I still think no matter what, she'll want you there to help her through this even though it may be difficult at first. 

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    BFP #3-EDD 12/19/13 - Peanut passed at 9w1d. D&C 05/31/13

    Diagnosed with Hypothyroid 05/20/13 

    BFP #4 - 09/22/13 - DD#2 born 05/27/14

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  • So sorry for you and your friend. I like the suggestions. (HUGS)
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  • My experience was a lot like Porterlove's. I had been trying for a year, and went to dinner with my BFF and she told me she was 7 weeks with her 2nd, after the first month trying. I cried on the way home, but it was during my FW so I got my shit together for when I got home. Ended up PG after that night, but had m/c 8 weeks later. I have never felt weird or uncomfortable or sad around her when she was pg or after she had her baby. I didn't even get really sad after meeting her LO. It was like our stories were just separate and it didn't affect me. She was very cautious though, when talking baby stuff knowing it might be upsetting. I would just try and be very supportive and not bring up baby stuff unless she does. It may take a few months, but if it's her first time going through it she will probably still want to talk to you. I'll send up a prayer for her!

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    Married 9/18/10
    TTC 1/1/12
    BFP #1 12/13/12 MMC Confirmed 1/30/13
    BFP #2 6/17/13, (Clomid+Ovidrel) CP Confirmed 6/26/13
    BFP #3 8/14/2013 (Letrozole+IUI) Charlie Grace born 5/2/2014

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