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Super apprehensive about TTC #2?

We're going to be TTC again soon but it's really freaking me out. I thought it was irritating hearing "it will happen!" with Abby - It's more frustrating to hear "You just have to do it!" when asking for advice on when to plan for a 2nd baby. I'm a planner by nature, I don't just DO things! A list of worries

  • getting pregnant
  • miscarrying again
  • having horrible morning sickness again
  • missing work
  • Abby hating the baby
  • Abby hurting the baby
  • Childcare
  • Breastfeeding

(why does it bullet in preview but not in the post!?)

GAH! It goes on and on of course. I barely keep the house clean and us fed now, what will I do with TWO..The best I can come up with is that I want 5k in savings. It helped tremendously with Abby because I didn't have any paid time off, but it was just a nice cushion to have. We ended up using most of it on a down payment for DH's truck =P. Plus, I had people come clean the house every 2 weeks for the first 6 months, that's a requirement this time too!

So how did you make the leap? Or how are you planning and plotting for a second (or third!) baby? 

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Re: Super apprehensive about TTC #2?

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    With #2, I had screwed up my pills but we were thinking about having another one anyway.  I was very nervous for another baby.  It had been 6 years since I had a newborn around, and I was living with my mom at the time so she did a lot to help me.  This time I was on my own!

    But it is so much easier the second time around, it just felt natural.  Everything from morning sickness to now, I just know (or have a better idea) what to expect.

    I want to try for a third sometime next fall, just to kind of seal the deal on us having kids.  Having two so young is pretty intimidating, but I think we'll be able to handle it :)

    You just have to bite the bullet and do it.  Figure - you already have all (or most) of the stuff you need.  You know what to expect during L&D.  You know how to handle a newborn.  Abby will adjust, she's young enough that if you have a baby now she won't ever remember being an only child.  Breastfeeding - I can't help you there, I'm not any good at that.  For #3 I'm not even going to bother, we're going straight to formula :)

    Its fun!  Good luck

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    I'm feeling the exact same way! I feel like I can barely keep up with DD, so how in the world would I manage a newborn and a toddler with ZERO sleep, etc. Everyone has always said it is never a good time, so you just have to do it. I'm scared to death!!!
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    Well, we did not plan at all and now I'm scared to death! :) I think just knowing you WANT another child is enough. You will be able to do it, you will find a way. It might be a little hard at first, but like someone said when I posted about being pregnant again, it will be your new "normal"! I like thinking of it that way.
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    I hear you! ?I'm sorry I don't have any info on making the leap since we are still in the pre-apprehensive phase. ?But we've had the conversations and we know the clock is ticking. ?(tick, tick, tick, aahhhhhh!!!)

    I feel the same way as you only I also worry that the new baby may be more colicky and sleep less than Wallace did in the first 3 months. ?What if HE was the "good" newborn????

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    I am scared to death about having my first! I cant even think of a second one yet!!!
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    With #2, I was scared to death of having another miscarriage. ?I did. ?It was horrible, but I dealt with it like my first. ?As for money woes, we made sure debt was paid off and we had a comfortable cushion. ?I was insistent on having #2 before I turned 35, so I was SO frugal and cheap for the longest time to meet those goals. ?It paid off in the long run though, because less debt=less stress. ?

    The first 6 months with 2 were the hardest, and then it smoothed out. ?I would have gone for 3, but dh nixed that!! ?I love seeing them play together--that's the greatest reward (they're 2 years, 4 months apart)

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    I just saw this---I am one month in to #2 and if my dh did not have a 2 month leave I would seriously just sit in a corner and cry!!

    Thankfully we had meals brought to us for the first 3 weeks which were awesome since we lived on them and left overs. I love my mama group!

    We super cleaned the house before the baby came so actually it is just now a month later it is really at a critical--we really, really need to clean this house. We have kept it picked up and I cleaned the toilets and mopped the floor before my in laws came but that was it. 

    Next week when dd returns to school I am starting to do everything by myself my dh is still home to bail me out. Then in 3 weeks he returns to work and starts 2 classes toward his MBA. 

    I think all your fears are valid and just plan. Having dd in school is perfect since I know that I get 12 hours a week w/ just one child. Then once dd#2 has her first round of shots I will do a baby exchange w/ another mom who has a toddler in dd's school and another home so while the girls are at school we will switch off on the babies to get one day free a week. 

    so, planning and I think you said in your group of friend y'all always celebrate all babies so instead of a shower --ask for housecleaning! 

     

    My dd has shown no jealously or anything toward the new baby--she is super sweet and is the queen at pulling out diapers for me so I can change the baby. We have made her feel very involved in caring for the baby. They are 2 1/2 years apart and it is perfect since dd#1 can play on her own, is old enough to watch some TV. She is potty trained (finished that in the nick of time). So caring for dd#1 is easier in that regard it is just her energy level and we still have to help her w/ the potty.

    sleep---ha!! dd#2 is a snug bug and you can't set her down for 2 minutes w/out her freaking out. She has been sleeping w/ us but dh is putting his foot down on that one soon.....he does not sleep w/ her in our bed.

    anyway---I hope I did not freak you out! It is really hard but I find when I am thrown into it (like when dh dared to the leave the house)--that I manage. #2 cries a little more than #1 had to but once #1 is settled then it is fine.

    We are even clothing diapering, EBF and pumping lots...

     

    so. go for it-- :)

     

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    I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone.  We're going to TTC #2 soon and while I have the worst baby fever and desperately want another child I am scared to death.  Our life is pretty great right now and I am scared that when the next one comes I'm going to wonder why I gave that up for sleepless nights and breastfeeding every two hours.  We decided that we'll keep DS in daycare so that we can get the new baby on a routine faster and then hopefully everything will fall into line.  I just have to keep reminding myself that it always works out in the end!
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