Not so hypothethical question and poll — The Bump
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Not so hypothethical question and poll

I have a friend who is newly engaged and planning her second wedding. She wants to be economical about it and have guests plan to bring a dish instead of a gift.

How would you feel about being a guest at this wedding?

Input is appreciated!



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Re: Not so hypothethical question and poll

  • Not so much.  I would rather just give them money.  They can really be economical about the wedding without making it a pot luck.  I'm sure they can use a cash gift more than a lasagna. 
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  • If they were good friends then I would happily oblige but it does seem a bit odd. I understand why she wants to do it this way but I'm like Leanna and would rather give money.
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  • Ditto to pp.  I think it would be a bit strange.  If she really wants to have guests bring a dish, I'd only request it from immediate family (i.e., parents, grandparents, bro, sister, maybe aunts / uncles... that's it).
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  • wait...a pot luck wedding?

    Never heard of such a thing....seems odd to me 

  • Honestly, that seems really ghetto to me.  Since its her second marriage and it seems she wants to keep it very simple, she should just take the immediate family out to dinner and maybe do a potluck-style housewarming party down the road if she really wants to get a lot of people together and have them bring a dish.
  • I will go against the grain and say that I think it's kind of a nice way to include the friends and family in the event.  I would imagine that it's not a huge crowd and that it would be at someone's house or park or something.  It's not something I would do b/c I feel like the organizational part would be a nightmare, but I don't see anything wrong with it for a casual second wedding.


  • I'm sure a lot of people would rather give money. It's easier, especially for the culinary challenged. I think it would only work and not be so strange if it were a really intimate, small setting.



  • It's different and not my choice but whatever floats their boat.  If I could afford it, I would bring a dish and a cash gift.
  • I've never heard of this but I think she needs to come up with a plan B. I would also prefer to give money instead of cooking since I'm not a cook.
  • I agree with the other girls its just weird. I'd much prefer money over food that'll be gone by the end of the night.
  • it is a bit weird

    if they are worried about expenses maybe just do a cocktail hour and dont serve dinner and just serve cocktail, h'ordovers(sp? i can never spell that word!) and cake...

    Just pick a time that doesnt overlap with dinner.

  • While I don't think it's "weird" it would come as a surprise to me to be invited to a potluck wedding.  I've been to a cocktail/finger foods party, a barbeque (not as ghetto as it sounds, lots of meats, roast pig, etc), a crawfish boil and a reception where the family spent the majority of the day cooking (immediate family) for the guests to enjoy.  I think having close friends and family contribute to the food selection is much less unusual than asking every guest to bring a dish, besides, they would end up with a lot of food doing that.  Like way too much.  They may also take the opportunity to "theme" the reception with dishes from their cultures, or a favorite culture or honeymoon spot.  When Walter and I ended up getting married in Hawaii because of the hurricane we had a luau inspired reception here for the friends and family who could come.  HTH!
  • That's pretty strange, I would assume this is going to be a small, intimate wedding? Even still, I would much rather give the bride and groom money as a gift. Honestly though, if money is that tight maybe they need to rethink the guest list.


  • ghetto. that's what i would think!

  • it's not my kind of thing.  I'd rather write a check and attend a more cost effective party like a cocktail hour reception.
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  • I've never heard of a potluck wedding and I think its a bit tacky. UNLESS - we are talking immediate family only - not everyone.  But still - I'd rather just pick some food up at like - Blue Sky or the Big Cheese or something for $200 and call it a day. 
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