This discussion started out as a response I was going to post on someone else's question. The more I typed, the more I thought maybe I just needed to ask on my own.
I've wanted to be a mommy my whole life. Even in kindergarten when they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up, I said a mommy. After DH and I got married, I got a bad case of baby fever. It went on for YEARS. Each time I brought it up, I felt like he was looking for the rip-cord on his seat to eject himself out of the room. He was not ready in the least, not that I could really blame him. We were relatively young (mid 20s), and everyone gets there in their own time. Now DH is ready to go with gusto, and I'm the one that isn't ready. After my last episode of baby fever and his rejection of the idea, it was like a light switch going off. At first, I had a pretty bad case of depression (and the three baby showers for family members that I had to attend in that time frame didn't help... Not that I wasn't happy for them, but you know how it can be). Then, it was like I woke up one day and just didn't want it anymore. We've spent so much time without children, that I feel like I've gotten too comfortable this way. I know deep down I still want children, but I feel like I've suppressed it to the point of submission. On top of all of that, we recently learned that my father is very ill and we aren't sure how much time we have left with him, hopefully a few more years. DH actually said we could start having a baby so my father won't miss out on meeting and getting to know the little one. Is it wrong that I feel like he's only relenting now because he doesn't want to feel guilty for saying no for so long later? He made no suggestions of TTC until we got the news. I want to think the best of him, but I'm a bit skeptical. I know I should talk to him about this and I will, but I was hoping for some outside perspective from anyone with a similar issue.