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maisonduchoco2

Hi ladies. I just miscarried on Wednesday and am still trying to process and figure out how to come out of my haze. Things just seem so raw and all I want to do is speed through the physical recovery right now. I was 12wks on the dot when I started cramping and spotting. Within 24hrs I was in the ER passing massive amounts of clots :-(. This was supposed to be our second child and I'm just devastated, especially since we've been telling our 2yo that he will be a big brother soon. My mind can't wrap around the fact that we had a healthy heartbeat at the 8wk appointment and made it to 12wks only to miscarry. I'm angry, sad, upset, confused, numb.

My doctor told me that we will wait to see if my body will take care of everything or if I will need a D&C. I've read many of your posts and see how much support you guys provide each other. I find it so much harder to talk about this IRL. We have many wonderful family members and friends and yet I don't feel like facing any of them. DH is super supportive and understanding but he is also going through his own process. All I want to do is hide in bed and cry all day. I'm forcing myself to go to work tomorrow just so I don't fall into a black hole but I'm terrified I will just start bawling out of the blue.

Thank you for just listening, since I don't really know where else to go to get this all out.

co baby1

I am so sorry for your loss and that you are finding yourself here. I started naturally miscarrying on Thursday and although it seems the worst of that is over I am still having some substantial bleeding and small clots. The contraction/cramping pain is gone but the raw emotional pain is still lurking. I also have an almost 2 year old (in December) who we told there was a baby in Mommy's tummy. It has not been a fun process to explain baby went bye bye. Being just a day or two ahead in the process please let me know if there is anything I can help with!

((Hugs))

maisonduchoco2

co baby1 said:

I am so sorry for your loss and that you are finding yourself here. I started naturally miscarrying on Thursday and although it seems the worst of that is over I am still having some substantial bleeding and small clots. The contraction/cramping pain is gone but the raw emotional pain is still lurking. I also have an almost 2 year old (in December) who we told there was a baby in Mommy's tummy. It has not been a fun process to explain baby went bye bye. Being just a day or two ahead in the process please let me know if there is anything I can help with! ((Hugs))

I am so sorry that we are in the same boat, but thank you so much for offering any help. Right now, my cramping and contractions are also gone. The bleeding has slowed down like it's a normal period. Has your doctor told you when to check in for your follow up? Mine told me to come in after a week but I just re-read my discharge papers from the ER and it said to wait two weeks.

Sadly, we haven't even told our son yet that there will be no baby. I don't even know how to begin that conversation. Maybe a part of me hopes that we can TTC again soon enough and he will eventually have a baby brother or sister sometime next year. I think the hardest part about this is that DS sometimes "talks" to my belly. It's heartbreaking and I don't know how to deal with that.

masterofallcheese

i am so sorry to see a new person on this board. this is a wonderful place, however, for support. i want to offer support for your first day of work tomorrow. i took a million bathroom breaks my first day and let myself go crazy crying in there. wore glasses so if i misted up at my desk (which i did) it wouldn't be as obvious. i also told my boss which allowed me to go home early and have space as needed. i think the most important thing is for you to get in a better place emotionally and physically so do what you have to do to make that happen. and in the meantime we are here for you.

libby+nate

So sorry for your loss. It is so hard to process all of emotion - anger, sadness, emptiness, hopelessness. I went back to work 3 days after and did okay, but after the D&C I was forced to take a whole week off and that really helped me emotionally. Thinking of you!

TXSparky

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have an almost 2 yo as well. Whenever she sees a picture of a baby she says "baby brother" It brings back waves of pain and makes me tear up.

I worked some last week. It was a good distraction for a while but I definitely got overwhelmed a few times and just had to take a break. I told my project manger so they are giving me some time/space which helps.

I hope going back to work is helpful to you. I will also be praying for a quick physical recovery for you. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

alm288

I'm sorry that you joined our board here I'm very sorry for your loss. It's a hard process to go through. I had a d&c so I cannot comment on the physical recovery. I do wish you a speedy physical recovery. I felt like having that behind me, I could focus on the emotional healing.

I'm glad to hear that you have a supportive DH. He has been my rock and my immediately family has been great. I chose not to tell anyone - we kept it a secret that I was pregnant.

Feel free to come here to talk, rant, release - whatever you need! Give yourself time to digest everything that has happened and allow yourself to grieve. Sorry but I have no great advice. It's a horrible thing but we will all make it through it. I wish you all the best. *hugs*

Frenchteachermama

**older siblings mentioned**


It's been 10 weeks since my miscarriage with misprostol and 5 since my d&c, I'm still so upset about it. I can tell you that it does get a bit easier but I still think about more than I don't. I have a 5.5 year old and a 3 year old and it's been really hard for me to step away from the grief. I'm going for acupuncture tomorrow to see if that will help.

I am also trying to surround myself with distractions but I always find myself thinking about it again...

maisonduchoco2

Thank you all for such kind words and helpful advice. I am very grateful that my boss is super understanding and is letting me decide how much I can handle. For all that is holy, I truly hope I can last all day without crying at the office. However, I will try to remember to take frequent bathroom breaks just in case. Thank you again ladies.

chusum

I am so sorry for your loss. This is a very supportive board, and hopefully you find much support. Hopefully your two year old doesn't yet quite understand all of this completely, and it'll be easy to have a simple conversation with him.

Good luck on your first day back. I don't have any good advice. I had a job where I drove a lot as a marketing rep and was able to jump in the car and cry when things got tough. And now I work from home. Take some time for yourself and needed hopefully your boss understands.

conradraging

I'm so sorry you have to join us, but I hope you find support and healing through all the wonderful women on this board. If you do end up needing the d&c I found it was quick and as painless as possible, and I think it helped to know it was all over.

Good luck going back to work. Tomorrow will actually be my first day back since my d&c Friday, so I'm there with you. T&P your way for a quick physical recovery and hope you have the best possible emotional recovery as well. (((Hugs)))

megrae12

I am so sorry for your loss! ((Hugs)) to you. I am sorry you have found yourself here but this board is full of strong, wonderful women who support each other. T & P's to you and your DH. I hope peace finds you soon. 

amismom

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort here. I know I have. I find that comforting others through the same pain and grief I'm experiencing has helped me greatly

MMason12

I am so sorry for your loss!!!  My T&P's are with you.  I know how it feels to see your baby's heartbeat and then miss carry, which is exactly what happened to my DH and I.  It makes it so much harder knowing that our LO who once had a heartbeat is now gone. I still cry at random points throughout the day and that's okay.  I am not sure if you are religious -- but I try very hard to remember that God has a plan and he never gives us more than we can handle in life.  Although I may not understand -- I may never understand why -- there is a reason why the Lord wanted our baby in Heaven with him and not here on Earth with us. 

Make sure you take the time to grieve, which each of us do drastically different.  Just remember that there are people around you who cannot understand the pain you and your DH are going through and; therefore, they may not know how to react all the time or even what to say.  

colacrock

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you as you are going through this tough time.