relationship with DH

mrsnschneiter

How has your relationship with DH changed since baby (especially if this is your first)?

ExcitedAunt2b

Oh good lord, there isn't enough room here to talk about that for me.  

Let's just say that it has gone downhill and even though I love him I can't say that I like him very much most of the time.  

dlbello23

ExcitedAunt2b said:

Oh good lord, there isn't enough room here to talk about that for me.  

Let's just say that it has gone downhill and even though I love him I can't say that I like him very much most of the time.  

Sometimes I feel the same way. Dh drives me nuts about certain things. Especially if he's feeling "overwhelmed"

perfectlove09

ExcitedAunt2b said:

Oh good lord, there isn't enough room here to talk about that for me.  

Let's just say that it has gone downhill and even though I love him I can't say that I like him very much most of the time.  

Ditto.

schumakr

Oh yes. I can definitely say the baby has put a strain on our relationship. We have been making an effort to get back to normal though. We have date nights, nights after the baby goes to bed where we go to bed and just be with each other all night , and we are going to the Bahamas in march for a week for just us. It has helped that my sex drive has been back to where it was before the baby. She has definitely taken a toll on us though that's for sure.

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kerbear135

For the most part, I think our relationship has only gotten better. Maybe it's because we waited so long after getting married to have a child, I don't really know. I love watching him with DD and I think he looks at me differently (in a  good way) when he sees me and DD together. DH has always been one to do the housework, so I take more responsibility for DD's needs and we have a nice balance. The only issue we have is that DH gets flustered easily when it comes to DD and sometimes I have to talk him through things instead of letting him do it his way, but he's working on that.

peacelove&mama

We rarely go on dates anymore (we used to go once a week), and I get frustrated with him on the weekends because he either sleeps in or just lays around and drink his coffee, and we have DS1's soccer mid morning.

I'd like to sleep in, but I can't because he does, and getting 3 kids fed and ready falls on me every time. We've talked about it but he says it's "his routine now and hard to get out of". In my head, I'm thinking fuck your stupid routine, I have 5 kids in my care all week, cut me some fucking slack on a Saturday morning.

Other than that, our relationship hasn't changed much.

jac409

I think our relationship was worse for the first few months, but better then before baby now. At first, I think DH had some pretty unrealistic expectations of both me as a SAHM and of the baby. DH thought I did nothing but sit around and stare at the baby all day since I didn't get much done. I felt like I was pretty prepared for most things, but no one ever told me I wouldn't be able to put her down for the first six months. Ever. Anyway, after she became more mobile and independent, things started to get better. DD and DH are buddies now, so he isn't resentful of my bond with her the way he was at first. We also don't fight over the stupid stuff we fought over before DD came along. There are bigger things to concern ourselves with now, so we don't really sweat the small stuff anymore.

*LrCg*

We have 3 kids under the age of 4 so I can't say our relationship is horrible- haha.  But all joking aside, yes it's different and I miss when we had a lot of time to do dates, snuggling, etc. However, right away after having our first, we both agreed that we have a much deeper love and respect for each other.  For DH to see me give birth and put all our babies first before myself on top of continuing to juggle the household responsibilities, etc.  and for me to see my DH be so hands on as a Dad, it's amazing.  DH takes a few days off during the month so he can have alone time with the kids is something most Dads don't.  He doesn't go off with the guys because he wants to be with his family.  We both understand that right now its time to spend with our kids and spend as much time as we can.  Years from now will be our time again.  This time goes so fast we're just enjoying it.

robyn2201

The first year post baby is really hard. Lack of sleep and just going through the motions. I found once DD1 got to around 18 months things got even easier. Bedtime was a breeze and I once again had time to spend with DH once she went to sleep. But then we had a second kid and started it at all over again.  

BrittanyDoesDerby

Things are different, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It was tough at first, and even now I get irritated with him more quickly than I used to, but we're still grossly in love, ha. I love seeing him interact with our daughter and seeing how much they love eachother, so that makes up for the fact that he can't lactate and help me with nursing

raraavis28

Not gonna lie, this first year has been kinda tough in that area. We got pregnant w/ our twins just 5 months after we got married (we wanted kids right away, but definitely weren't expecting two right outta the chute!) and they were born the day before our first anniversary, so we kind of doubled up on the first-year-of-marriage adjustment and the pregnancy-and-new-parent adjustment....and doubled up on babies lol. DH is a great dad, and has been a good partner w/ the parenting but he was really unhappy w/ his job, we had a lot of drama w/ our families, and the babies' birth brought up a lot of unresolved issues he had....all of which caused quite a bit of strain in the beginning. It's getting better now, as we adjust to our new normal. I'm looking forward to the babies' birthday and our anniversary, as it will mark a year of surviving this craziness w/o killing each other lol.

emmylou1313

It's been very rough. A lot of fights and stress. It's getting better. He stays at home so he constantly downplays what I do in the family even though I work nights so I'm with her majority of the day. But him starting work again helps. And just trying to have us time. He have yet to have a night out alone so maybe soon