Oh...the legal fun to be had :(

eg214

So I had my first consult with an atty today. I feel good about the $100 I spent. Got every question answered.

Anyway, doubtful I will get supervised visitation granted because he hasn't been violent towards me in years (since we were married). The atty said the court tends to believe people can rehab themselves and with the PTSD factor, they actually have become more aware it's not just a violent person thing...that it's tied to trauma. This sucks, because this was my biggest and most important sticking point. The one I'm most worried about. I don't feel there is anything stopping him from taking off with her and now...I just don't know what I will do. She did tell me though that in the beginning the visits can be in my home or at a neutral meeting place and will be at my discretion until we go before a judge which will take upwards of 4-6 months. I don't want him in my house because that will just turn into "WELL CAN'T I TAKE HER TO THE STORE. CAN'T I TAKE HER BACK TO MY HOTEL" etc. and then spiral into a domestic issue with her present. So...in a nutshell...I'll be in the clear for several months and it will be by my rules. However...in VA...until things are decided in court...parents have 50/50 rights so if he takes off with her while I'm in the bathroom or something, I'm SOL as far as getting her back right away.

Child support looks like it will range from $450-$900 depending on whether or not she's in daycare PT, FT, or not at all and whether or not I'm working. Going off him making 45k. However...she did say if I quit my job and go to school and stay home with her and he pitches a fit...the court could imply retroactive salary on me and say I'm capable of making $42k a year like I *WAS* making before I quit my job and adjust my child support accordingly. Frickin ridiculous.

Anyway, I still don't know how I would afford the atty and really right now the only monster nightmare I can see is all the filing. That seems to be the most confusing, monster headache of all. In VA, you can't bring on an atty just for the filing...it has to be for filing and litigation. They don't separate.

She obviously suggested working it out and coming up with a solid agreement so it eliminates all this nonsense and drama. I don't know if that's likely but I'm going to try once she is born. She said not to worry about it right now while I'm still PG.

She said not giving the baby his last name doesn't matter AT ALL nor does it matter to the court if I am on govt assistance of any kind.

It was a great consult until the end when I mentioned my vaccine plans (bc we were talking how we will have to share PEDS information and health records) and she nearly had a heart attack and said the court would frown upon that and possibly consider me an unfit parent. Joy. Another thing I get to negotiate with him about, but he should actually be on my side about it bc of an illness/experience he has/had.

Anyway, I'm glad I have a realistic idea of how this could go. Now I have to pray about it. Thank goodness I'll be in the clear for the first few months, my next biggest worry outside of supervised visitation.

eg214

On the flip side...if I end up not working and going back to school before she gets here...I will qualify for legal aid which could help me with the filing crap.