1st Trimester

5 reasons to calm down and believe everything is fine

  1. The internet has a potent history of making me think that something is very wrong. Remember when WebMD told you that you had cancer? Nine different times? And none of them turned out to be cancer? Thou shall not Google; it shall only cause fear. 
  2. You have no signs of anything being wrong. Thus, if there are no signs of anything being wrong, that means there are signs things are right! The absence of one = the presence of another. 
  3. If you're  not bleeding, you're not miscarrying. Silent or missed miscarriages are incredibly rare. 
  4. Worried about the future, you say? Now that's nuts. You didn't know a few months ago that you'd be pregnant now, right? And you DO know that! So the only thing that's confirmed? That you're pregnant! You dummy. You're pregnant! 
  5. If you're worried, you can call your doctor. They will say, "Are you bleeding or having severe cramps?" You'll reply, "No," or, "No, just mild cramps without bleeding." And they'll say, "You shouldn't worry then." So you can also just know this logic in advance, save you both ten minutes, and remember that you're pregnant! 

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Re: 5 reasons to calm down and believe everything is fine

  • Please note: I'm not calling you all dummies. Talking to myself, publicly. 

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  • Good reminders! 





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  • On the same topic  - How rare are missed miscarriages?  Especially after hearing a HB... I have tried finding this statistic and can't.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

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  • What I've read is that missed MCs are about 3% of all MCs. 

    So after the HB at 8 weeks, let's say your risk goes down to 5%. Of that 5%, there's only a 3% chance of a missed MC. Very, very rare. 

    Trust what you know, not what you speculate. 

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  • Love this!  Very well said!
    Me: 27, DH: 29*** TTC since November 2011 *** Dx with PCOS in September 2012 
    ***September 2012: IUI #1 = BFN*** 
     ***October 2012: IUI #2 = cancelled due to not responding to meds ***
     ***February 2013: IUI #3 - BFN ***
     *** April 2013: Gonal-f, HCG Trigger and TI = BFN*** 
     ***May/June 2013: TAKING A BREAK.***
    ***July 2013: Gonal-f, Trigger and TI = BFN***
    ***August 2013: Gonal-f, Trigger and TI = Cancelled due to over-stimulating***
    ***September/October 2013: Fermara, Gonal-f, Trigger and TI = BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Beta #1: 65, Beta #2: 210!!!!!!***




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  • Thanks for this. My PgAL brain is going all kinds of wacko this week. I'm in that funny limbo time when symptoms are fading but there's no bump and I don't have a scan until next week.

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    09/23/11 - Married DH

    04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks

    05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d

    08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d

    09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!  

    10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!

    12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!

    05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!

  • I REALLY needed to read this and be called a dummy! Because I am one! I'm almost 12 weeks and have been worried sick thinking something is wrong. We recently told DD who of course blabbed to her whole preschool (we thought she'd be little enough to forget, haha), but once that happened, I started to panic thinking I had jinxed something. We got pregnant so easily the first time but tried for 2 year this second time. It almost feels like I'm not worthy and am doomed. So thank you for this!!!
    DH & I: 29
    TTC #1 4/2009 -  DD 2/5/10
    TTC #2 since October 2011
    2IF issues
    7/2013 - IUI #1: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFN
    8/2013 - IUI #2: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFP! Beta #1 (12 dpiui) 8/21: 45  Beta #2 (16 dpiui) 8/26: 301 Beta #3 (21 dpiui) 8/30: 1,929. 1st Ultrasound 9/4 - One perfect sac. 2nd Ultrasound 9/13 - Heartbeat at 124 bpm! Anniversary  

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  • Thank you for this! It's good to have the reminders. Especially as symptoms come and go, and I get ready to go to my 8 week appointment tomorrow. Thank you!!!
  • wtfisup said:
    What I've read is that missed MCs are about 3% of all MCs. 

    So after the HB at 8 weeks, let's say your risk goes down to 5%. Of that 5%, there's only a 3% chance of a missed MC. Very, very rare. 

    Trust what you know, not what you speculate. 

    It really sucks to be in the minority on this one :(

    DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d

    DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d

    BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13

    DS born 5.20.14 at 38 weeks

    All are welcome

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  • Thanks for this!
  • IBackBevo said:
    On the same topic  - How rare are missed miscarriages?  Especially after hearing a HB... I have tried finding this statistic and can't.
    Well, this is all so true but I had a MC back in Feb at 11 1/2 weeks thought I was pretty much in the clear, saw heartbeat the week before, I thought all was fine, no bleeding all was fine the week before. I had a little spotting so that is why I had the US and all was fine.   Ended up with a MMC.  I am so paranoid this time, I am trying not to be but it is so hard.  I will be 5 weeks this Thurs.  First trimester can not be done with soon enough!!!
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    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
    Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 w 4 d missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC :(
    BFP # 2 10.10.13...........EDD 6.19.14



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  • Thanks for the reminder!!
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  • Thank you so much! I needed this. I came across stories of missed miscarriages on here a little while ago and I have been freaking out ever since. Phew. I feel so much better now. 
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  • I think I love you. That is all!
    ~Jessica~ 


  • Totally needed this. Thanks.
  • Thank you! I needed exactly this. This is brilliance. 
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  • Not to freak you out, but  MMC aren't that rare.   I get that you're trying to make yourself feel better and are coming up with a strategy to stay positive, which is a really really good thing.   But for those of us who have had no cramping/bleeding/problems and still miscarried (especially those of us who have had MMC) this is pretty hurtful.  



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  • Avion22 said:

    Not to freak you out, but  MMC aren't that rare.   I get that you're trying to make yourself feel better and are coming up with a strategy to stay positive, which is a really really good thing.   But for those of us who have had no cramping/bleeding/problems and still miscarried (especially those of us who have had MMC) this is pretty hurtful.  




    According to everything I've read, they are statistically uncommon. Including talking to my midwife. That doesn't mean your experience is invalidated, though. Nothing changes your experience, and no one wishes you more pain.



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  • wtfisup said:
    What I've read is that missed MCs are about 3% of all MCs. 

    So after the HB at 8 weeks, let's say your risk goes down to 5%. Of that 5%, there's only a 3% chance of a missed MC. Very, very rare. 

    Trust what you know, not what you speculate. 

    Having experienced four miscarriages myself, two of which were missed miscarriages, I can tell you that missed miscarriages do not coincide with the statistics you've listed. I believed those same statistics. Then I had my second missed miscarriage. I talked to my OB as well as an RE, and they both agreed the statistics were flawed. Furthermore, it doesn't matter if they are correct. Someone accounts for that statistic. You never know when you will be that statistic. Bottom line is that worry is natural. Do not try to invalidate that worry because you think you have some special insight. As a "habitual aborter" as I am medically defined, accept the worry but tell yourself, "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby." The point is to believe what may come tomorrow should not detract from today because today I am pregnant and I love my baby.
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