Tips for co-hosting a shower with a drama queen

BabyCarryingVessel

I'm hosting a shower this winter for a great friend. Another girl wants to co-host with me and she is notorious for causing drama at every shower she's ever helped with. Where there's no drama, she will make something up. For instance, in the past, she has gotten upset for being responsible for too much, and other times she has been upset about not enough responsibility. Trust me when I say she's hard to work with. She is always hard up for money. I really want this shower to go off without a hitch. I'm willing to pay for the whole shower, so I'm not worried about trying to split costs with her. If she offers to pay for something it would be a bonus. Do any of you have tips for working with dramatic people?

mypreciouscargos

Sounds like you answered your own question. You don't mind paying the whole shower and doing all the planning, and you don't her involved. Problem solved!

EastCoastBride

BabyCarryingVessel said:

Another girl wants to co-host with me and she is notorious for causing drama at every shower she's ever helped with. 

If you're hosting and she has approached you about co-hosting,  NOTHING WRONG w/ saying "Oh- thanks for the offer but I actually have everything under control.  I'll let you know if anything comes up"

And just let the drama be "BCV wouldn't let me co-host!!!!!". I have a feeling that every person she says this to will probably think "I don't blame BCV".  

twister22

I will echo PPs and say do NOT let this girl co-host with you!

EastCoastBride said:

BabyCarryingVessel said:

Another girl wants to co-host with me and she is notorious for causing drama at every shower she's ever helped with. 

If you're hosting and she has approached you about co-hosting,  NOTHING WRONG w/ saying "Oh- thanks for the offer but I actually have everything under control.  I'll let you know if anything comes up"

And just let the drama be "BCV wouldn't let me co-host!!!!!". I have a feeling that every person she says this to will probably think "I don't blame BCV".  

This exactly. If you turn her down, everyone will know why and no one will blame you.

BabyCarryingVessel

You girls are GOOD. Sounds dumb, but I really hadn't considered this!

Ceridwen21

If you had already accepted her offer to co-host, I would have suggested giving her 1 task only (something symbolically big but actually unimportant, like the cake) to take care of, and you do everything else.

BabyCarryingVessel

@Ceridwen21, this is a really good idea. MTB is the one who told me that this girl wanted to be involved, so I might be the drama queen if I make a big stink about not involving her.

EastCoastBride

BabyCarryingVessel said:

@Ceridwen21, this is a really good idea. MTB is the one who told me that this girl wanted to be involved, so I might be the drama queen if I make a big stink about not involving her.

It doesn't have to be a big stink, though.  Just a gentle "Oh- i've really got everything under control" is fine.  BUT - throwing her a token task just to make nice is fine! 

Whatever you do - at least TELL HER that you basically have everything done.  The theme is picked, you know what you're spending on stuff, whatever... just so that she doesn't start interjecting herself and try to change things up.

Just stand strong on "Thanks fo rthe idea, but I've already decided to do ___". 

And again- LET HER create drama.  I seriously imagine that most people know what she's like and they just roll their eyes behind her back.  It will only look poorly on her. Not you.

reb84

I bet she wants the recognition of being listed a host.  Maybe she thinks it makes her look good to host all these showers?  But Yea, don't host with her. you're only creating headaches for yourself!

ArgyleBride

DON'T DO IT.  From someone who's been there. Please.  I committed so many faux pas because I had to pick my battles....let me live vicariously through your NOT DOING IT.  

linzerd

Unfortunately, no. In my case, the drama queen is my mother, who is/has thrown the shower herself. And since we are very different and don't necessarily get along, I fall right into it every time and her bullshit rubs off on me and I react, inadvertently feeding the drama. It's fun. :-@