Babies: 9 - 12 Months

HELP me with getting DD to sleep

DD has been in her crib since she was 6 months old. It was a struggle at first but she got the hang of it. She is in there for naps and bedtime. Naps are 2 times a day for about 30min. I rock her and she is out and I put her in her crib, no problem. But the past few nights it's been a battle putting her to bed.  We rock her like normal and when she is out for about 30min we put her in her crib and she starts to SCREAM!!!! And won't stop until we go pick her up again. We did let her cry it out for about 3 or 4 min for a few time and still nothing. Its harder to calm her down when she is hysterical and takes longer to get her to go back to sleep. We picked her up rocked her again and put her down and the same thing just screaming! I finally gave her a little baby Motrin thinking maybe her teeth were bothering her. and after about trying to get her down another 3 times she finally went down. But she wakes up after about 2 hours and we started it all over again. What can I do for her? We all need sleep!!!! I go for her 9 month check up tomorrow but if we go through another night like we have been I am going to lose it!!!! For the sake of my marriage and my DD sleeping we need to fix this tonight. So I have been looking online for  help but haven't really come across anything. Ladies please give any advice you have! Thanks 

Married My Best Friend 5/21/2010
Madison Paige arrived 1/8/2013

Re: HELP me with getting DD to sleep

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  • It sounds like you need to research on sleep training methods.  Right now, your DD has sleep association - she is being rocked to sleep in your arms. When she wakes up after a sleep cycle (30-45min), she realizes she is no longer rocked and no longer in your arms.  Imagine you falling asleep in your bed and then wake up to find yourself sleeping on the floor in your living room!  You'd freak out, wouldn't you?  

    There are many sleep training methods out there.  WE used Ferber and it worked well for us; it is one of the most commonly used method because it works.  I HIGHLY recommend you reading the book before you start.  Once you start, you have to be consistent and not give up.  It sucks for the first 3-4 nights but once you break your DD's sleep association, she should be able to soothe herself back to sleep instead of needing you to rock her.

    Sleep deprivation is taxing on any marriage.  I think once everyone in your household is getting good quality sleep, you and YH's relationship will improve.  Good luck.
    TTC since 10/2008  RE consult 6/2010 Dx:Unexplaied IF

    Failed multiple cycles of Clomid+TI and Clomid+IUI

    3/2011 inj+IUI #1 BFP. 4/2011 missed m/c. 

    Fall 2011 inj+IUI #2&3 BFN

    Jan/Feb 2012 IVF#1 BFP 2/23  EDD 10/31/2012 ~~~ Halloween ~~~

    Our IVF miracle, Baby Boy M, arrived on 11/8/2012!
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    [Deleted User]
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  • It sounds like, unfortunately, you taught her some not so good sleep habits.  Start by stopping the rocking to sleep.  It's going to be tough at first, but eventually she'll learn to fall asleep on her own.  You can rock her a little but put her down awake.  Sing to her, soothe her and then try leaving the room.  Give it a good 5 min (at first) if she starts to cry.  Then go in and soothe her WITHOUT picking her up.  Sing to her.  touch her.  tell her she'll be fine.  give her a binky.  leave the room again and repeat.  it won't be easy but you can get her to fall asleep herself with some perseverance. 

    I wish you good luck.  Lack of sleep is the hardest part of this and some people handle it better than others.  Don't beat yourself up for being strung out.  it happens to the best of us! 
  • Nicb13 said:

    They do go through a period of separation anxiety around 9 months old so that could be contributing to this.

    Read up on sleep training and give it some time. This will not be fixed in one night. My best advice is to be consistent. Sounds like you aren't right now and that's why your LO is confused.

    Take the advice you get with a grain of salt. People told me to stop rocking DS but I didn't listen and I'm glad. I enjoy that time with him and it didn't mess up his sleep at all. If you rock your LO, make sure you put her down awake. If she cries, be consistent with how you deal with it. Give her 5 minutes, then go in and rub her head, walk out again. Don't pick her up. Rinse and repeat.

    I do the same thing. The trick is to put them down awake. When DD was little I'd do anything to soothe her to sleep and that was to rock her until she was sleep and put her down. She'd wake up at the first sleep cycle (30-45 min) and cry and I'd go back and rock her back to sleep. When she was older we did sleep training. I didn't want to ditch the rocking so I'd rock her and put her down awake. The first few days she fussed, but I was consistent by not picking her up. I'd go in and pat her and talk with her and tell her to go back to sleep. Trust me they learn quickly.

    Of course when she got sick I do anything to soothe and that sometimes means I hold her to sleep even. When she is back to normal we have to do a reminder training.

    This is not going to be fixed tonight and I agree with PP that you need to read on sleep training, pick a method and stick to it. Sleep deprivation is hard! DD has a cold right now and the longest stretch of sleep I've got in the last 3 days/nights was 2 hours so I know it's hard. I'd sit your husband down and talk with him so you're both on the same page and could support each other while you get through this.

    Good luck!
    [Deleted User]
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