Baby Showers

If you give a gift at a baby shower, are you obliged to give another gift after baby arrives?

I recently attended a baby shower (the first one I've ever been to. In the past I've just taken the Mum/baby a gift when I've been to visit after baby is born)

So at the shower, I gave my standard kind of gift, a woolen onesie, a good quality bib and some face wipes (I like to go practical because I figure you can never have too many of these things)

Towards the end a few women started getting all excited about, "and we'll bring you more gifts once baby is born."

Now part of me thinks well I'll feel odd going empty handed to visit the baby because I always take a gift, but the other side of me feels like I've spent what I would normally spend on a friend's baby and I'm done.

So ordinarily do you give a gift at the shower and when you meet baby? Is there any particular expectation, or is there no real rule?

Thoughts?
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Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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Re: If you give a gift at a baby shower, are you obliged to give another gift after baby arrives?

  • KrisandsKrisands member
    edited October 2013
    I don't think you should feel obligated to give another gift. One gift is plenty. If I don't attend the shower then I give a gift when I meet the baby.
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  • ceh789ceh789 member
    edited October 2013
    Not sure if youd count this as a gift, but I'll generally bring a (frozen) meal when I visit a new baby. Obligated is the wrong word though; if the friend is good enough that I'll visit when baby is new then I want to bring something; if it was just an acquaintance I'd keep myself (and my germs) home.
    [Deleted User]Islandgirl1129[Deleted User]nreyn55079
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  • I like the frozen meal idea thanks.
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    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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    Islandgirl1129
  • Of course you aren't obliged!  It's a GIFT.  If those women want to bring more, they are welcome to do so.  This doesn't mean you have to. 
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User][Deleted User]MJM3108
  • Personally, if the friend is good enough that I visit her and the baby shortly after he/she is born (not just run into them or see them the next time I normally would) then they are good enough where I would bring something to meet the baby - usually I bring a free-able meal or a small pack of diapers --- personally I always forget how many diapers new borns go through.
  • No, one gift is plenty. If you don't want to show up empty handed once the baby is born, you could do the (frozen) meal. I remember one woman on here who made lactation cookies (don't know if you're friend will be breast feeding and if you're much of a baker), but I thought that was a really nice gesture. 
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  • No, you aren't obligated.  The only time I have was when my best friend had her first; she had been Team Green, so I bought her a few boy outfits to the hospital. 

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  • ceh789 said:
    Not sure if youd count this as a gift, but I'll generally bring a (frozen) meal when I visit a new baby. Obligated is the wrong word though; if the friend is good enough that I'll visit when baby is new then I want to bring something; if it was just an acquaintance I'd keep myself (and my germs) home.

    This is a great way to put it.  I would probably only visit a super close friend at home with a newborn, and I would gift a super close friend something regardless of a shower.

     

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  • I did not read the replies, so sorry if I'm just repeating.

    You are not obligated to bring a second present when you visit the new baby.

    When my oldest was born, some people did bring a gift (usually something small) to the hospital or to our home when they visited, but many just came to visit and hold the baby, which is perfectly fine!
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • I don't think you should feel obligated to bring another gift. When I had my lo some people brought over food or diapers, that sort of thing, and some people didn't. And, while I really appreciated the gifts, I did not think anything of it that some people didn't bring anything. I was just happy to have some visitors!
  • I typically do bring something small, but you are not under any obligation to do so.  
  • You are not "obligated " to give a gift ever. If you feel the need to take something when you visit the baby, maybe a meal or gift card to a restaurant.
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  • sschwege said:

    I typically do bring something small, but you are not under any obligation to do so.  

    You are never obligated to bring something ever! Depends who it is for me on if I bring something twice. For the recent showers and births I went to the shower but didn't go to the hospital, then for the other one I didn't bring my sister a "gift" at the hospital I just brought food!!! Real food!! Lol. On my way up there I stopped at this place in town that has amazing nachos but fries not chips mmm and brought that. ;) plus during her labor I was there and my dh brought her ice cream. All up to you.
  • ceh789 said:
    Not sure if youd count this as a gift, but I'll generally bring a (frozen) meal when I visit a new baby. Obligated is the wrong word though; if the friend is good enough that I'll visit when baby is new then I want to bring something; if it was just an acquaintance I'd keep myself (and my germs) home.
    This is my thought too. I don't go visit very often so if I'm close enough to, I want to do a little something more.

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  • It all depends on who it is. If it's a good friend or family member, I'll probably bring a gift, or frozen meals or something when I meet the baby as well as a gift at the shower. Anyone besides that? Not so much.
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  • I usually bring something for the new mom & dad, and sometimes something for the baby (usually if the couple was team green).  I also only go visit close family/friends during that "new baby" time frame.  The last 2 I have visited at home were about 2 weeks after the birth-- one was a cousin-- I took her and her DH dinner from a restaurant, and the other was a friend-- I took her a bottle of wine and a blanket for the baby. But you definitely aren't obligated to bring anything.  I usually tend to err on the side of a meal or bottle of wine or something that I would give if I was going to dinner at a friend's house.
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  • Only a very few people got us gifts both at the shower and later, and they were all close family. We were also team green, so I think some people bought a gift, then a cute girly outfit/item later on. 

    My suggestion would be to ask the new parents if there's anything they need (if you're visiting soon after the baby is born) - like picking up some food, something at the store they might need, or offering to do something around the house while you're there. Those were the gifts that I appreciated the most. 
    #1 7/2013
    #2 3/2015
    #3 3/2017
    #4 10/2019
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