Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Chemical Pregnancy

I feel guilty for even feeling so sad.  I only knew I was pregnant for about a week, and I knew about 2 days after the + that it wasn't going to last.  My lines on my FRER stopped getting darker and eventually started getting fainter.  Everyone tried to tell me that wasn't an indicator, blah blah blah - but I knew in my gut it wasn't a good sign.  I started the m/c yesterday and today I feel so bitter and angry.  I don't even know why.  We hadn't been trying for long and already have 3 beautiful children.  It just hurts, I guess.  :( 

For anyone else who had a chemical, did you go back to ovulating on schedule or did it take some time?  I'm bleeding heavily now (heavier than a period) and TMI, it's much more gross.  I'm just not sure if I will get right back to normal or not...and I can't even decide if we are going to try again in Oct. 

  • DD1: August 2009
  • DD2: December 2010
  • DS: August 2012
  • M/C 9/2013, 12/2013 
  • DD3: October 2014 - April 2015 Miss you baby girl.
  • Current Due date:  April 14, 2016
Musings of a Farmer's Wife

Re: Chemical Pregnancy

  • Also, I've been trying to change my siggy and it just will not change.  I apologize if the photo makes anyone sad.  :(

    • DD1: August 2009
    • DD2: December 2010
    • DS: August 2012
    • M/C 9/2013, 12/2013 
    • DD3: October 2014 - April 2015 Miss you baby girl.
    • Current Due date:  April 14, 2016
    Musings of a Farmer's Wife
  • ninthgirl said:
    I had a chemical. I was pleasantly surprised that I Od at CD 20, which is in my normal range. After my earlier mmc I didn't O until CD 34. Not sure how my LP will be affected. My CP was definitely like a miscarriage and not just a period, only less so, so I know what you mean.

    Did you ask your OB on TTC again? I'd call and tell them about the chemical if you haven't so it will be on your chart. They can advise you on the medical minimums to help you decide. I have to wait out this cycle for testing purposes.

    ETA: sorry for your loss. I react to loss by being angry too. It's OK. Let yourself grieve how you grieve. How many kids you already have doesn't mean you can't be sad. You wanted THIS baby too.
    Thank you so much.  I DID want this baby.  It has broken my heart to wonder about this baby.  Boy or girl?  Would it look me or my husband? Etc. 

    I have informed my doctor and he knows.  I'm in agreement with you.  This is less like a normal period and more like a m/c.  Lots of clots and heavy bleeding with cramping.  But I had been getting positives for over a week, if that makes a difference. 

    I'm not necessarily angry *with* anyone, I'm just angry in general.  Kind of bitter, I guess?  Hoping I'll feel better soon and can try to move on with another cycle.  I usually O around CD 17...hopeful it will come close to on time.  Thank you, again.  I appreciate the encouragement.

    • DD1: August 2009
    • DD2: December 2010
    • DS: August 2012
    • M/C 9/2013, 12/2013 
    • DD3: October 2014 - April 2015 Miss you baby girl.
    • Current Due date:  April 14, 2016
    Musings of a Farmer's Wife
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  • Hey there,

    I am going through the same thing. I took a test Friday with the strong feeling that we did conceive. By Sunday evening I had this really overwhelming feeling that it was not going to last. Sure enough, Monday I started my period.

    I have no idea why I feel so upset. I knew about this for a whole two days and knew that there are risks before the first trimester is over. I am the same right now, just so mad. Other things going on at home, I just feel like I have to fight for everything. I just wish I could catch a break once in a while.

    My husband is great, supportive, but just doesn't really get it and cannot make me feel better. I know it is not his fault (nor mine) but I almost resent him and I am so jealous of friends that I can't even look at FB because of other's pics of super cute babies and happy families. He told me last night that life gives us these challenges and how we choose to handle them is our decision - well I decide to cry and be really pissed off.

    Tell me it will get better and I am not crazy! Thanks

  • Laragphib said:

    Hey there,

    I am going through the same thing. I took a test Friday with the strong feeling that we did conceive. By Sunday evening I had this really overwhelming feeling that it was not going to last. Sure enough, Monday I started my period.

    I have no idea why I feel so upset. I knew about this for a whole two days and knew that there are risks before the first trimester is over. I am the same right now, just so mad. Other things going on at home, I just feel like I have to fight for everything. I just wish I could catch a break once in a while.

    My husband is great, supportive, but just doesn't really get it and cannot make me feel better. I know it is not his fault (nor mine) but I almost resent him and I am so jealous of friends that I can't even look at FB because of other's pics of super cute babies and happy families. He told me last night that life gives us these challenges and how we choose to handle them is our decision - well I decide to cry and be really pissed off.

    Tell me it will get better and I am not crazy! Thanks

    Well, I'm still in the throws of it myself, but I feel better today than I have so far.  I think it's fine to initially be sad, angry, etc. - I think what your husband means is that you can't let it define you as a person.  That's an easy thing to say but a tough thing to practice.  I'm sorry for your loss. 

    • DD1: August 2009
    • DD2: December 2010
    • DS: August 2012
    • M/C 9/2013, 12/2013 
    • DD3: October 2014 - April 2015 Miss you baby girl.
    • Current Due date:  April 14, 2016
    Musings of a Farmer's Wife
  • I know exactly how you feel, at this moment I'm having my third chemical pregnancy in less than a year! My husband and I have been trying for our first child, but it sucks when we can't even get excited when I get a positive test. It's so frustrating!!! I'm going to get blood work done today and hopefully start finding out why my egg won't implant.

    I have high hopes though reading all the great success stories of others. I hope you keep high hopes as well, because it will all work out in the right timing! :)
  • Would you mind sharing what tests you had done? I have also had three in the last 6 months. Part of me is scared to even keep trying, but my doctor insists that nothing is wrong and that I'm overreacting. I don't think she actually believes that they were true pregnancies.

    This week we checked my thyroid and prolactin which both came back normal.

    Good luck to you!

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