It is too early for tears. — The Bump
December 2013 Moms

It is too early for tears.

Yesterday sucked. I got called into work for the 7th day in a row. So on top of being regular pregnancy exhausted, I'm also work-drained. So after work I tried to find a pair of boots and coat, but of COURSE I couldn't find ANYTHING because I'M FREAKING ENORMOUS. My feet are now a size 12. TWELVE. REALLY?! So do you think they make cute shoes for people that aren't size 8? No. They don't. As for a coat.. if I want something that's not hideous, it's looking like I'm going to spending close to $120, which I do not have at the moment.

So I spent most of yesterday in tears.

Today, I went into work at 5:30am because I'm so fucking behind because my nearly useless coworker quit, and her three weeks notice quickly became a day and half notice.

Oh! Then my boss calls me to tell that he is "coming up with a reward" for me, since I'm now doing two jobs and taking care of the medical needs of 50 teenage delinquents BY MYSELF. What's my reward?

"Well, we're going to go ahead and give you 15 hours of overtime."
"What?"
"Since you're working so hard, we're going to let you work 55 hours a week!"
"Um, I coach in the mornings and have performances in the evenings. i don't have time to work another 15 hours a week here."
"Oh, well, I guess you'll just need you to come in on saturdays and/or sundays to make up the difference"
"Do I have to work 55 hours a week?"
"Well, you just can't let anything fall behind like you did last week. So you really need to stay at at least 50 hours a week"

So my reward is that I have to work an additional 15 hours a week and now work 7 days a week? How is that a reward exactly?

And nobody will fucking help me. I'm sorry, did they not realize that I'm fucking pregnant? That it is physically painful for me to be running around that much? That I cannot do this job by myself?

It's 8am. I have been working since 5:30am. I can't leave here until 6pm. I have already sobbed alone in my office for a good half hour. 

So, cool. Great week ahead of me. 
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Re: It is too early for tears.

  • Ouch. I'm sorry. I hope everything gets better
  • Yeash :S no fun
    BFP#1 9/28/2012 - EDD 6/3/2013 - MMC discovered 11/21/2012 @ 12w2d - D&C 11/24/2012
    BFP#2 4/4/2013 - Born at 37w3d on 11/26/13 via emergency c-section
    Loving our beautiful rainbow baby boy Archer!
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    ~*All AL Welcome*~
  • Ugh...that sucks, so sorry. May I ask what it is that you do? When I was pregnant the first time, it was right around when a major project was launching at my job...or was supposed to. The thing kept getting pushed back for about 4 months...it was awful. Wasn't allowed to take vacation, and was working late almost every night. I was actually getting the side-eye when I had to come in late/leave early for OB appts. I was just miserable. So I know your pain! I hope it gets better for you soon, somehow.
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    hannahlce

  • Nichole10 said:
    wow! I honestly don't know what to say except how is that legal? Can you reach out to your doctor and let him/her know how much pain you are in physically? Get a note? Reach out to your HR department? I don't know what your options are but there have to be some.

    Don't let this continue, that is way too much and if you are physically in pain that is obviously not healthy for you or LO.

    Good luck and keep us posted!
    My doctor would probably write me a note, but it's a lose-lose situation. If I'm not there to take care of the kids, then they won't get taken care of. And yeah, they're not all terribly polite, but that doesn't mean I want them to suffer.

    We had a kid on Saturday who get hit in the face with a basketball. They called me after I left on Saturday to ask me to take him to the ER, and I couldn't. SO THEY DIDN'T TAKE HIM. Really? How is that appropriate? 

    So because I wasn't there, this kid suffered. I ended up calling another person in on Sunday to take him. Oh, he got stitches, and it looked a little infected. But since I wasn't there, he had to wait. 

    It just really sucks, because I'm in mom-mode so I don't want the kids to suffer if they don't need to, but at the same time, I want to take care of myself because I gotta tell you.. my swelling is completely out of control, and my back is killing me. 
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  • hannahlcehannahlce member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Photogenic
    edited September 2013
    swirl25 said:
    Ugh...that sucks, so sorry. May I ask what it is that you do? When I was pregnant the first time, it was right around when a major project was launching at my job...or was supposed to. The thing kept getting pushed back for about 4 months...it was awful. Wasn't allowed to take vacation, and was working late almost every night. I was actually getting the side-eye when I had to come in late/leave early for OB appts. I was just miserable. So I know your pain! I hope it gets better for you soon, somehow.
    I work for a group foster care facility. Some of our kids are DHS (department of human services, I don't know if that's just an Iowa name or what..) cases, meaning they were removed from the home for safety reasons. Some of our kids are Juvenile Court adjudicated, meaning they've committed crimes but are believed to be able to be rehabilitated. Most of our kids are 12-17ish. 

    I'm a "treatment team day staff" meaning that I help the kids with their doctor's appointments and I handle all of their mental health drugs and treatment. I pass their meds, interact with their parents (the non-crappy ones who actually want to be involved), take them to the doctor and dentist, bring them to/sit it on their psychiatric evaluations, communicate with their behavior health workers, therapists, counselors, mentors and advocates about their rehabilitation and how they're advancing in the program.

    I like it.. it's just a LOT of work. My office is across campus from the rest of the kids cottages (which is what we call where they sleep and live) so I'm constantly walking back and forth across campus to tend to their needs. 

    Edit: Apparently I can't type.. Edited for typos and missing words. 
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  • I am so sorry that you are going through that! I hope that they hire someone to come in and work with you! You need to make sure you are taking care of yourself though. I understand being in Mommy Mode already but you won't be doing anyone any favors if you work yourself too hard! I hope that the kids appreciate all you do for them! Good luck!

  • Can you get a golf cart to cut down on the walking? I volunteered at a similar place and they used golf carts. As for the rest of it, it's not OK that they didn't take him if you couldn't. Who made that decision?
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    There is another kid, she's 10... 
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  • At first I thought, 'how awesome, they're going to bonus you an extra 15 hours' worth of pay!', and then I read the rest of your post.  :(  That is such a back-assward "reward", I want to slap your boss for you!  I'm sorry that this is happening! 

    Maybe you can talk to your OB about getting a doctor's note saying something to the effect of, "Hannahlce is not permitted to work more than 35-40 hours/week for bla bla bla reason."
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  • If I were you I'd seriously be thinking of a getting a doctors note stating that you are not in a condition to work.  That is too much work for the third-tri.
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  • You sound like a very good person in a very unfair situation. Are they going to hire someone else? What are they going to do during your mat leave? You should not have to suffer or worry that the kids are going to suffer if you take a day off
    hannahlce
  • I would speak to HR-they can't mandate overtime. And I know it sucks but if you don't establish boundaries you are going to get ill. Those jobs are the hardest and so understaffed. However they need to get a plan in place for your maternity leave anyways. Please take care of
    Yourself and take a day off (sick time!) if you have to. They need to work this out because you are not going to be there in a few months and can't worry about that while having your baby.
    I have worked with kids for years and know the heart strings are pulled. You can only do so much though.
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    hannahlce[Deleted User]
  • So sorry! Doesn't sound fun at all. I hope they hire someone else soon.
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    Rainbow Baby born 12/14/13

  • We're in the process of interviewing, I think. But the last time they went through this process it took a while because apparently no one was qualified. This time, they are at least letting me have a say in who is hired so that the other person and myself are able to get along and jive well together. This last person they hired... yikes.
    So this is a state run job? This seems abusive and illegal. Are they hiring someone new? We have a list that we go down when we hire new people at our state run facility. 3 day turn around, new person in place by one week. The kids can't be benefiting from an over tired, over worked person let alone one that is pregnant. Sorry girl.
    We're a private facility. It would be so awesome if there was a 3 day turn around! The turn over around here is crazy, so that's not really in the stars. :(
    KateMW said:
    Can you get a golf cart to cut down on the walking? I volunteered at a similar place and they used golf carts. As for the rest of it, it's not OK that they didn't take him if you couldn't. Who made that decision?
    That brilliant decision was made by one of the lazy resident workers. Like, seriously? She got written up and is in big-time trouble for that one, I'm pretty sure, especially because the backlash came on me. My supervisors know that isn't okay, and it's not like that happens all the time... It's just that I'm frustrated, so naturally I'm going to find the worst in every situation. That was just a one time occurrence... But still! 
    KateVA said:
    You sound like a very good person in a very unfair situation. Are they going to hire someone else? What are they going to do during your mat leave? You should not have to suffer or worry that the kids are going to suffer if you take a day off
    They're planning on hiring someone soonish, but our agency is really, really, really busy right now. We're going through about a million transitions and so while getting someone hired is priority, it's not TOP priority. :P 

    As for my maternity leave, i'm supposed to be training someone, but I've never met her. I don't know if she just doesn't show up, or what, but I've never been able to meet with her or go over anything.
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  • Those jobs are the hardest and so understaffed. However they need to get a plan in place for your maternity leave anyways. Please take care of Yourself and take a day off (sick time!) if you have to. They need to work this out because you are not going to be there in a few months and can't worry about that while having your baby. I have worked with kids for years and know the heart strings are pulled. You can only do so much though.
    This!

    The kids are rough, but some of them just want love so badly but they don't know how to ask for it! It's very obvious that they're just in need of appropriate, positive attention. I'm not qualified to help them with therapy or counseling, but I feel like having them wait on medical needs is not making them feel safe or loved or cared for, so it's just a difficult situation.

    I just found someone on campus who is willing to help me with appointments at least. She's going to take about half of them during the week so I can stay in my office and get caught up on paperwork and parent contacts. :P

    Sorry for being so dramatic, it's just rough right now!
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  • I don't quite understand what kind of business or work this is, but it sounds like a long term liability for you.  You've got one instance of child neglect and a staff shortage that puts all of them at future risk.  I personally would be looking to get out of there fast.  You really, really wouldn't want to be dragged into the legal and moral mess it seems like they're heading toward the next time they drop the ball.
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  • Fuck that. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that all at once... what a crappy "reward." It almost wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't framed it in those terms. But it'd still be bad.

    Hope you catch a break soon.
      norathe girlsamelia
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    hannahlce
  • utlawgirl said:
    Fuck that. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that all at once... what a crappy "reward." It almost wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't framed it in those terms. But it'd still be bad.

    Hope you catch a break soon.
    That made me chuckle. I think that's what my face must have been saying at my meeting this morning. "Uhhhhhhhno". haha! 
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    utlawgirl
  • hannahlce said:
    Yesterday sucked. I got called into work for the 7th day in a row. So on top of being regular pregnancy exhausted, I'm also work-drained. So after work I tried to find a pair of boots and coat, but of COURSE I couldn't find ANYTHING because I'M FREAKING ENORMOUS. My feet are now a size 12. TWELVE. REALLY?! So do you think they make cute shoes for people that aren't size 8? No. They don't. As for a coat.. if I want something that's not hideous, it's looking like I'm going to spending close to $120, which I do not have at the moment.

    So I spent most of yesterday in tears.

    Today, I went into work at 5:30am because I'm so fucking behind because my nearly useless coworker quit, and her three weeks notice quickly became a day and half notice.

    Oh! Then my boss calls me to tell that he is "coming up with a reward" for me, since I'm now doing two jobs and taking care of the medical needs of 50 teenage delinquents BY MYSELF. What's my reward?

    "Well, we're going to go ahead and give you 15 hours of overtime."
    "What?"
    "Since you're working so hard, we're going to let you work 55 hours a week!"
    "Um, I coach in the mornings and have performances in the evenings. i don't have time to work another 15 hours a week here."
    "Oh, well, I guess you'll just need you to come in on saturdays and/or sundays to make up the difference"
    "Do I have to work 55 hours a week?"
    "Well, you just can't let anything fall behind like you did last week. So you really need to stay at at least 50 hours a week"

    So my reward is that I have to work an additional 15 hours a week and now work 7 days a week? How is that a reward exactly?

    And nobody will fucking help me. I'm sorry, did they not realize that I'm fucking pregnant? That it is physically painful for me to be running around that much? That I cannot do this job by myself?

    It's 8am. I have been working since 5:30am. I can't leave here until 6pm. I have already sobbed alone in my office for a good half hour. 

    So, cool. Great week ahead of me. 
    :( sorry this is happening. Silver lining: overtime pay!
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    hannahlce
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