If one more person gives me sympathy for having a boy... — The Bump
December 2013 Moms

If one more person gives me sympathy for having a boy...

...I'm going to lose it on them. It really offends me, like I should be less excited or love this kid less because he's my third boy. There are so many things I do worry about but gender is nowhere on that list. Even total strangers making comments like - 'are you finally getting your girl?" Or "oh no!" When I tell them it's a boy. I feel like I'm stuck in some reverse china culture and it's pissing me off
FutureMrsCaesarLpegirl2013

Re: If one more person gives me sympathy for having a boy...

  • People really suck.  Before I found out it was a boy, a few people did say "I hope you get your million dollar family".  Apparently that means one boy and one girl.  People are stupid. 

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    ladameperdueKeenanshell
  • Ugh, I am in the opposite position.  I have 2 boys and we're having a girl.  All I get is, "Oh, you're finally getting your girl", or "You must have been trying for a girl", etc. etc.  It is so annoying!  Yes, I'm excited to have a girl, but I would be equally excited to have a boy.  I LOVE having boys and having a girl was not the driving force to have 3 kids.   I just try to ignore it-people are stupid.
    abbief584
  • lp0lp0
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    edited September 2013
    People are just plain stupid! I think you should come up with a really good come back that will make the realize how stupid and ridiculous their comments are like, "yeah we were thinking about terminating when we found out it was another boy but figured that instead we should just be happy and thankful that we're having a healthy baby."
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    nofcksgiven[Deleted User]
  • Buttholes. I always wanted a houseful of boys, so I'm jealous. This little girl ruined my plan. I'm totally kidding. We'll love her just as much!
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    nofcksgivenabbief584
  • They do the same thing with girls... I'm having my second girl and random strangers will ask if we were trying for a boy, or if we'll keep trying until we get a boy.  Um, I don't even know you, how is it ok for you to ask me this?  Not everyone wants one boy and one girl, and my family planning is between DH and me. 

    I try to let it roll off my back though... not sure why people have no filter when asking about pregnancy/ babies, but I think curiosity just gets the best of them...
  • Will 2nd that it happens with girls too. It's nothing but sympathy for DH. It bothers him but aside from calling out the jerks what can you do?

     

     

  • I always said "and we're so excited" immediately after I tell someone just to avoid me say "are you freaking kidding me!? I don't want a girl" which I think sounds just as bad. I get it though. I'm very much over hearing ANYONE else's opinion (without me asking) at this point including SO and every once in a while the OB. I realize I'm a FTM but women have been doing this whole pregnancy thing forever and only recently were there books or the internet and on a medical note they keep changing their minds about what's good and what's bad anyway. UGH! Sorry to take over I guess I just needed to vent a little too. Anyway. .  sorry you get to deal with that. Here's to hoping one of your kids kicks them in the shin next time. 
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  • care99 said:

    Ugh, I am in the opposite position.  I have 2 boys and we're having a girl.  All I get is, "Oh, you're finally getting your girl", or "You must have been trying for a girl", etc. etc.  It is so annoying!  Yes, I'm excited to have a girl, but I would be equally excited to have a boy.  I LOVE having boys and having a girl was not the driving force to have 3 kids.   I just try to ignore it-people are stupid.

    I couldn't agree more - gender is not a reason to have a third kid. I'm having a third kid because I want three kids. Period.

  • So rude! When I was pregnant with DD1, I got "Oh you must be so happy, now you have the perfect family". Ummm so if it were another boy my family would somehow be imperfect? It's such a stupid thing to say.
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  • I find that everyone is rude about everything related to pregnancy.

    Just tell everyone the shut the hell up. 
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    [Deleted User]kimberlygo
  • I hear ya!  I'm on boy number two and already people ask me "oh, are you going to try for your 3rd so you can have a girl?"  um, let me have #2 first before you ask me that...

    It will never cease to amaze the things that people say to pregnant women.  It's like the entire world has no filter for 9 months.
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    [Deleted User]
  • Man, pregnancy really brings out the stupidity in the people around you doesn't it?
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  • We're having a boy after having a girl and most people are just excited for us. My neighbor was confused when I told her we would probably not be "done" after this, after all we'll have the "perfect" family.
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  • KateVA said:

    care99 said:

    Ugh, I am in the opposite position.  I have 2 boys and we're having a girl.  All I get is, "Oh, you're finally getting your girl", or "You must have been trying for a girl", etc. etc.  It is so annoying!  Yes, I'm excited to have a girl, but I would be equally excited to have a boy.  I LOVE having boys and having a girl was not the driving force to have 3 kids.   I just try to ignore it-people are stupid.

    I couldn't agree more - gender is not a reason to have a third kid. I'm having a third kid because I want three kids. Period.

    My response to the 'are you going to try for the boy ?', has now become "I always wanted 4, and now I have 4."

    It's the truth, and I besides, you get what you get and you don't get upset.... Not for real anyway.
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  • People are incredible!

    I'm PG with my second little boy and really hope for a third after this!  I've always wanted boys. I have this picture in my head of having three handsome men that I raised - could anything be better than that?

    Ignore people - you know how great boys are!

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I hear ya!  I'm on boy number two and already people ask me "oh, are you going to try for your 3rd so you can have a girl?"  um, let me have #2 first before you ask me that...

    It will never cease to amaze the things that people say to pregnant women.  It's like the entire world has no filter for 9 months.
    I keep hearing that too...yea..we plan on having a third anyways.  Has nothing to do with the fact that we'll have two boys already!  People are ridiculous.  I'm so excited to be having another boy.

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  • That's messed up. Boys are so adorable! In my eyes, you're a lucky, lucky lady.
     
  • I feel ya... third boy here as well. Everyone just automatically changes their tone when they find out it's a boy. I had my moment, but it quickly passed. I am so incredibly excited for this little guy as is SO and his family, so that is ALL that matters.
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    Lilypie - (zHjr)
  • This is my 3rd pregnancy and I have 2 boys already and that was one of my worries before finding out. I felt like everyone would feel sorry for me and say things like that to me and I didn't want or know how to deal with it. People would always tell me "Oh I'm praying you get your girl this time" and I was like well what if I don't? Then what will they say?
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  • care99 said:
    Ugh, I am in the opposite position.  I have 2 boys and we're having a girl.  All I get is, "Oh, you're finally getting your girl", or "You must have been trying for a girl", etc. etc.  It is so annoying!  Yes, I'm excited to have a girl, but I would be equally excited to have a boy.  I LOVE having boys and having a girl was not the driving force to have 3 kids.   I just try to ignore it-people are stupid.
    This is exactly how it is for me. I'm over the moon excited to be having a girl but those comments just irritate me. I felt like people we were more excited for me when they found out it was girl than they would've been had it been another boy.
    T~ 9.27.05 C~ 6.24.11 L~12.2.13
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  • I get the same thing! People keep telling me "next one will be a girl." I just laugh and say I wanted another boy and there may not be a next one! So annoying.
  • Gosh I could have written this!!!  Just the other day my kids swim instructor felt she needed to talk me into wanting my 3rd boy.  I never even gave the faintest idea that I was disappointed about it being a boy (because I'm not!).  Then we were shopping at the outlets and some lady stopped me and points to my stomach and goes 'is that your girl?' I smiled and said  no, it's a boy, and she goes 'well keep trying, it took me 4 tries to get my girl.'  Seriously?!?  I could go on and on...
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  • After two girls we're expecting a boy.  Everyone always says, "Yay! You're getting your boy!"  We would have been thrilled to have all girls. People are stupid.
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  • I totally agree that it's rude, but at the same time I get why people say that stuff.  I know so many people who really have wanted at least one of each, & so I'm sure that many people's comments come out of their own feelings, w/out realizing how insensitive it sounds.  I have a friend who recently found out they're having a 3rd girl & was really upset & crying about it, & says they might end up trying for a 4th just to see if they can get a boy, so I mean... a lot of people do feel really strongly about the whole thing, & I'm sure their comments just come from their own feelings of what would be a "perfect" family.
    [Deleted User]
  • I have gotten several comments of people having pitty on me because I am having a girl.  I just think people are freaking insane sometimes.
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