DH Sucks... Vent

FunkyPhoenix

So DH got to go to our deer lease on Friday and stayed until late last night. It was a work weekend to prepare for the season which just means making sure the cabin and feeders have all the supplies needed. With him being gone it was just me and LO the entire time which is tough bc he wakes every 1.5-2.5 hours at night, except for one stretch that's about 4-5 hours. I assumed when he got home he would jump right in and let me rest. Nope! He gave him one bottle overnight but when it came to getting up with the baby he made a comment on how he was hoping to sleep in. WTF?! Really?! I haven't been able to get rest in 3.5 months! He consistently gets 6-8 hours per night. I so often feel like he thinks he is the only one who deserves sleep around here bc he has a Mon-Fri job and he/ it is so important. I have a part time job (work from home), go to school one day per week and take care of LO the rest of the time. Plus do EVERYTHING around the house including deal with repair men. I honestly feel like I'm doing this alone a lot and frankly it was less stressful when he was actually gone!

WasNotWas

It must be the 3.5 month inch MH travels for work and on those trips it's all fancy dinners and golfing (seriously, it's a sweet gig). He doesn't sleep much because he drinks until late with customers and usually schedules breakfast meetings so he can expense big meals anyway, when he comes home he is worthless for helping out. If he gets up once he wants a medal.

I usually give him a lot of shit for complaining if he's tired to me because I'm the last person who wants to hear it. Our resolution is that he gets to sleep in and I get up with the boys and then I get the afternoons off, once the toddler goes down for a nap. It's not 100% fair, but it works for us because at least it's a small compromise and he has a taste of what it's like when he's gone.

FunkyPhoenix

willman2585 said:

It must be the 3.5 month inch MH travels for work and on those trips it's all fancy dinners and golfing (seriously, it's a sweet gig). He doesn't sleep much because he drinks until late with customers and usually schedules breakfast meetings so he can expense big meals anyway, when he comes home he is worthless for helping out. If he gets up once he wants a medal.

I usually give him a lot of shit for complaining if he's tired to me because I'm the last person who wants to hear it. Our resolution is that he gets to sleep in and I get up with the boys and then I get the afternoons off, once the toddler goes down for a nap. It's not 100% fair, but it works for us because at least it's a small compromise and he has a taste of what it's like when he's gone.

Yep, sounds like my DH. His last after hours work event was having a customer appreciation event on a yacht. And no, employees' wives "weren't allowed" and I laughed in his face when he acted like it was "work". There was a DH and an open bar! Plus he is not in marketing so it's not lie he was in charge of the event.

Well it's nice that you guys arrived at some sort of agreement, even if it is still pretty unbalanced. Hoping we all get some rest soon. In the meantime, my DH had better hope I don't send him packing. He has been a selfish a hole for so long now, and since having the baby, it hasn't gotten any better.

WasNotWas

@babymillersmommy (I didn't want to mess with all the quotes) - the worst part is that if I get all like "eff it YOU take care of the kids" I feel crazy guilty because I work full time so I want my time with them...you gotta talk to him and assign a "task". It will never be equal to what you do, but it will make you feel better about the imbalance

WasNotWas

Haha @shoogars yes! The "I got up every time the baby did" excuse!! Flawless reasoning on their parts...

FunkyPhoenix

Shoogars said:

Yeah, my DH doesn't get it. My almost 2 year old at at least 3 times every night until she was 7 months old. I was deliriously exhausted. It would infuriate me on weekends when I would have to get up with her at five and he would roll out of bed at ten. Then complain about how tired HE was! Because of course he woke up every time DD did! Yeah, he may have woken up, then he rolled over and went back to sleep while I fed, and tried to get DD to go back to sleep!

Ohhhh! I HATE when DH complains about how tired he is! What nerve! It's 10:15 am and he is still in there sleeping. What is he?! A teenager?!

jessykay87

babymillersmommy said:

Ohhhh! I HATE when DH complains about how tired he is! What nerve! It's 10:15 am and he is still in there sleeping. What is he?! A teenager?!

We made an agreement before the baby came that he is not allowed, ever, to make a comment about how tired he is. Ever, ever, ever. And he's stuck to it, so far. He doesn't help around the house, at all. He's good with the babe, but she's BF, so he has absolutely no night responsibilities. But, I can deal with all that, as long as he doesn't talk about being tired.