anyone's moods just all over the place after ET?

mmhopeful

I am just all over the place.  One minute, I'm hopeful. The next, I'm at the pity party and doom and gloom world.  Even drove to a drug store last night at 8 p.m. to make sure I had some pregnancy tests in the house.  I am only 5dp5dt and am just beside myself. I'd rather know if it worked and just move on with all that I have going on at home and at work, then to just sit and feel so helpless.  My husband and I seem to be in 2 different places and it's actually the most stressful point we've been at as a couple.  My beta is Friday, 10/4.  What day would you actually POAS to check?  I have three FRERs and 2 CBE digital tests. 

I also found out my mother told 2 other family members about our IVF procedures, even after I said we were not sharing with anyone after the 3 failed IUI's. Just ticked. 

sunflowermama42212

Siggy****

I'm so sorry you have to deal with more people knowing than you wanted. I felt hopeful until the fear set in and then I was all over the place. I'm praying this works out for you!

mmhopeful

Mwhigham22 said:

Siggy**** I'm so sorry you have to deal with more people knowing than you wanted. I felt hopeful until the fear set in and then I was all over the place. I'm praying this works out for you!

I think this is exactly where I'm at.  Fear.  I also just wanted it to be private this time.  I had to tell enough people at work and that was hard.  I also don't want any judgement as IVF to some people in my family is not ok.  I also have a family party to host on Oct. 6th and frankly, I didn't want to have to see people and here anything from them.  I'm also sort of numb.  My mom laughed and said, "I hope all 3 didn't work.  You'll have your hands full."  Just so upset.  We'd gladly take all 3 if they worked.  My prayer right now is that at least ONE implanted. 

HeatherHam10

I definitely can relate to what you're going through. We are currently 3dp5dt and today I woke up just feeling like I knew it didn't work. I'm sorry that you are feeling this way to. Its so hard after so many failed cycles to keep positive. I know a lot of people test at 5dp5dt...i am trying to wait for 7dp5dt if i cant hold out for beta. GL to you.

twistsandturnsto2

Totally normal to have your emotions be all over the place, but you are SO justified in being ticked at your mom! People will just never understand!
In any case, just try to focus on getting through one day at a time. (((Hugs)))

ekc0630

I was a mess during my 2ww.  Started POAS 3dp6dt so I knew trigger was out.  Once it went to negative I cried and cried.  Then it went positive.  I was over the top excited but scared.  That was my biggest thing I was always scared!  It is a tough thing to go through.  Good Luck and stay Busy!

MrsC430

Feeling the exact same way. My beta is 10/8 and time seems to be in slow motion. Last night while DH was giving my PIO shot, the thoughts of "what if this is all for nothing?" set in. It's so hard. Thinking of you!

Rixx0207

I was the same way after each ET.  I would read stories online about how some women didn't have any symptoms and were completely surprised at the first beta.  I would feel so hopeful and think that the same thing would happen to me.  Other times I would feel like it didn't work because I wasn't having any symptoms. You just drive yourself crazy.  I didn't even get on the internet during my last ET.  I'm going to POAS at 6dp5dt before beta this time because I want to be somewhat prepared.  Try to keep yourself distracted.  Good luck!!

TaylorH84

Completely understand! You are definitely justified in being mad...this is an extremely tough, emotional roller coaster and unless you've been through it you don't know how deep it can hurt. I'm sorry you're going through this right now and I hope for the best. Sh*t I'm scared right now and I'm not even in the middle of IVF currently, just waiting to begin again. Just scared about the "what ifs." I saw a quote that said something like "if you're depressed you're living in the past. If you have anxiety you're living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present." I was thinking, depressed? Check! Anxiety? Check! Peace? What in the world is that!?!?

O2girl

So sorry you feel this was! I'm sure we all will have the same sorts of emotions that come in waves. It's all very emotional and it's normal to worry! It is all such an emotional journey that is filled with fear, hope, excitement, anger, pain, FEAR again... All at the same time... Plus then we are messing with our bodies so much it's a wonder we are even able to hold on to hope and excitement. Yet look how strong we all are..... The way I see it is I'm part of an elite group of women warriors who are willing, capable, and strong enough to go through this kind of darkness to bring our children into the world! Not everyone can say that they went through hell to have their babies and would do it all over again (and do)...
Hang in there fellow warrior!

mccall0113

This is me. Exactly. Emotions all over the place. And no one in my family knows. Beta tomorrow. Praying for a surprise positive as my pee tests are a big flop. I'm spent emotionally. I didn't realize I could feel so many emotions in the span of 9 days. Either way I am ready for the next step. Best wished to you! Hang in there

amcastord

Mine is! I think it's having to deal with IF in general! I've been a mess today! Crazy, hotttt mess!!!

crystaldh

I'm right there with you. In fact my beta is on the 10/4 too, so I'll be thinking of you on that day too. I'm trying to avoid--as hard as it is--to try to read into anything I feel (cramping, no cramping, being tired, not being tired), because I think right now the progesterone is playing a key role in what's happening in my body. 

And for as much as I wanted to be so positive and eat really healthy, when you're in the midst of the 2ww and taking all these drugs, it's not easy at all. I feel so out of sorts and sluggish. And then on top of it, I've been beating myself up for eating these apple cider donuts (they were really good!). . . so then I just remind myself that many women get pregnant without cutting out sugar and dairy and living in state of total bliss during these first few weeks.

mmhopeful

Thanks everyone for your support today.  Been crying on and off most of the day and am just trying to tell myself it will all be ok.  I've been buried in school work and trying to keep that as my focus until bed.  Sad thing is ...there is more work than I can get done and I really need to make sure I get some sleep.  I'm still a mess, but it feels better to hear everyone is in the same boat.  PIO shot in an hour too.

HeatherHam10

@crystaldh man if I shld be cutting out sugar then I am doomed because that is ALL ive been wanting...just made an apple pie today and pumpkin cookies yesterday its bad!

mmhopeful

HeatherHam10 said:

@crystaldh man if I shld be cutting out sugar then I am doomed because that is ALL ive been wanting...just made an apple pie today and pumpkin cookies yesterday its bad!

This just made me smile!

crystaldh

@HeatherHam10. Glad to hear I'm not the only one! Sometimes I get the feeling I'm the only one eating things that are "unhealthy." But darn it, it's hard to being able to have a glass of wine and take a hot bath.

RG0405

Hang in there! Take it one day at a time. IF is a crazy rollercoaster and the minute we feel hopeful, we are having doubts in the back of our minds. It's gonna be ok. Sending you positive vibes!

HeatherHam10

@mmhopeful I'm glad something made you smile!! Even if it means me not fitting into my pants tmw

@crystaldh you're so right...a glass of wine and hot bath would be amazing right now!  And you're definitely not the only one eating unhealthy...I think I replaced alcohol with extreme amounts of bad food

TaylorH84

Ummm I pretty much eat icecream every night....ahhh! Maybe I need to get that under control...