7 weeks and counting - intro & q's

PaoPao820

Hey ladies!!

Wow, I can't believe I'm here.  Feels like just yesterday I was writing a similar post on theknot to introduce myself as a newly engaged lady!  Now I'm married, with a house, two dogs and apparently a baby on the way!! although I'm not so sure yet about that last one since I still can't believe it and it hasn't really sunk in quite yet!  All this happened in 27 months, just over 2 years! 

We decided to "pull the goalie" at the end of June and I went off my birth control.  I went to go see my OB on Aug 13th to go over preconception stuff and do genetic testing.... apparently we're extremely fertile because a month later, I was calling the doctor back to let her know I had a positive pregnancy test!  While we knew this could happen, we weren't prepared for how fast.  I was expecting to get pregnant more towards the end of the year but they tell you that if you're on BC that it may take longer and usually it takes a few months anyways.  Now of course I'm happy but I go between feeling happy and excited to feeling scared and uneasy to feeling terrible that i could possibly feel bad when there are thousands of people out there who can't conceive at all and that's all they want.  I've always wanted to be a mother, I've dreamt about being a mother, but I also didn't want to be my mother... meaning I didn't want to have to work all the time and not be able to see my kids.  I know that she did an amazing job and I came out great but I didn't and don't really now have a great relationship with her and I think part of it is because she was never really around because she had to take care of me by providing for me.  I'm grateful to have a job but it's a job that I commute over an hour each way and that I hate.  I don't want to just have 2 months or even less with my baby and then have a stranger take care of him or her the rest of the time. I don't even know how we would pay for that much child care. And while I've been looking for a new job, it's tough and at this point, who would hire a pregnant woman? All these thoughts just keep running through my head and I keep trying to tell myself "it'll be okay, things happen for a reason and things will work out" but I can't help but panic.  And then I start feeling that regret about how I could possibly feel this way if there are others, cousins of my husband included, who have been trying to conceive for years and are unable to.  Meanwhile, we barely tried and boom, we're pregnant.  I just hope and pray that things will work out somehow.  

Sorry for such a rant.  We've only told family so far so I haven't had a chance to really voice this with nayone.  My husband would freak out even more if I started freaking out.  The majority of my friends aren't close to where I am in my life.  One friend talks about getting pregnant then decides to get a motorcycle or most recently, joins a fitness competition so it's hard to be able to talk to them and feel like they might understand.  Those that do have children, are older by 5+ years and have pushed us aside.  And on top of all of this... for the past 5 days I've been sick.  Which really sucks!  I know that once I'm no longer sick, it'll be a different story and I'll feel differently but I can't help but feel even more stressed because what if the sickness that I have cuases my baby to be hardwired for autism or schizophrenia or gives them asthma.  I just freak out about this stuff. 

Changing the subject.  There are a bunch of abbreviations that people use on the boards that I've been hoping to get clarity on.  If I haven't listed an abbreviation and you happen to know an extra one, please post it as well because sometimes I feel lost reading!!

What is:  DD - DH - DS - BOTB - BFP - FRER

Thanks ladies for listening and congrats to all the new mama's!

saraapuzzo24

DD- darling daughter, DH- Darling Husband, DS- Darling Son. BFP - Big Fat Positive. I'm not sure what the
Others are. Congrats by the way and welcome.

MJC1116

Hi and welcome. FRER = First Response Early Response (pregnancy test).

Your feelings are normal. I remember feeling that way with my first pregnancy. I think it was mostly shock that we were pregnant after the first month of trying. (Didn't feel this way with the 2nd, though, mostly because we had tried for 2 years and were coming to terms with the possibility of not having anymore children due to unexplained infertility. I was thrilled to finally see a positive.) Anyways, try not to freak out about things affecting your baby. Unless you're smoking or doing drugs or drinking, they're pretty protected in there. 

It might be helpful to voice these concerns to your husband. He might be able to provide you with the reassurance and support that you need during this time. The two of you can work together in accepting that change is coming... in a good way! 

Congrats!

LindsayDesigner

BOTB babies on the brain.

Take a deep breath and relax.

I'm pregnant with our second, I think I'm 4-6 weeks along. I haven't found a new doctor yet due to a conflict with our insurance. Our DD weaned herself and I went off the mini pill just before that. With my first pregnancy it happened the first month of trying after a year and a half on birth control. I have felt a lot of the same feelings of guilt that I got pregnant so quickly TWICE. I don't think you should feel guilty unless you are being obnoxious or disrespectful to other people. Consider the feelings of others and tread carefully, I guess.

I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy!

PaoPao820

thanks ladies.... I appreciate all the feedback.  My husband, while great, can be worse than me with anxiety and worry.  I usually have to be the sane one and bring him down from the paranoia which makes him a very sensitive husband but another thing that I also have to take care of lol.  

rainy369

Welcome and congrats