Intro and Is this Bad?

RayRay007

I jumped right in the other day and asked a question about miso without introducing myself. I am RayRay, I have a 2.5 y.o. DD and we were really looking forward to a new one in April 2014. I had an NT scan on Weds. (13w1d) only to find out the baby stopped growing around 8 weeks. It really sucks (as you know) We want to try again asap. 

So my question, I'm feeling a bit guilty about not feeling more guilty or sad. Maybe it hasn't set in, although I cried a lot Weds. night. But it only feels like I lost a pregnancy, not a baby, and although we were really excited to have a baby and I'm sad I won't have one when I was expecting one, I'm not too sad about the loss right now. Does that make sense? Again, maybe it hasn't hit me yet. 

mer313131

I agree with the above poster. How you feel is your own and no one should judge you for your reaction. I am feeling a lot better since I had a D&C yesterday, like I have a clean slate. I have had many sad moments but I haven't bawled since two days ago.

aschultz9

Every person is different and every loss is different. I had a miscarriage 10 years ago that I remember crying, and feeling sad but I was still hopeful about another pregnancy.

This time I can't even describe the overwhelming sadness, despair and feelings that nothing will ever feel good, or normal or the same again. I can't stop crying and it happens out of nowhere. it has been 2 weeks since my D&C. I don't feel hopeful, and don't want another pregnancy. I wanted the one I had.

amandalou22

I think for me it has to do with already have kids. It keeps me busy and I KNOW that it can happen for me. My first 2 m/c were before my kids and it was devastating...like I was in the fetal position for a month and wouldn't leave my house kind of thing. I had no idea if I could ever have children and all the fears that come with that. Everyone is completely different and you shouldn't feel a bit bad about that!

MrsCodeMonkey

Don't feel gulity! There is no good or bad way to grieve. E-hugs!

RayRay007

Thanks guys.  

nkemery

I remember when it first happened to me I was devastated and then suddenly stopped and thought that that would be the end of the trauma, but then it came back.

It's possible that you're just in that stage where it just hasn't really set in and you may begin feeling it later. If you haven't physically miscarried yet it's very possible that the reality of it will set in once you see it happening.

That being said, some women just don't feel that attachment right away, and that's okay too. Honestly, as happy as I am to have known my baby for the short while I did and that I'm okay with the fact that I am still sad over my loss, I can certainly say that life might be easier if I didn't have to immediately be so in love with that little embryo.

No matter what you're feeling, it's normal.

Everyone handles it differently, we all do things and think "Am I crazy?" "Is this supposed to be happening?" And I promise, it is.