My baby shower is Oct 5, it will be coed. It feels my husband keeps trying to make the shower about him. For some reason he feels that he should invite every person her knows, even if it's a single man who I don't really care for.
His mother made a guest list that was cut down, my mother added a few people and I asked for my coworkers be invited. Today a long time friend text me asking about the shower, I don't think she was on the guest list, she lived hours away and didn't think for her.
Well she moved back and wanted to see if I was having a shower, I said yes and I invited her, super short notice. I know it's tacky, I'm guessing you won't come. I told DH and he flips out saying that it's not fair that I can invite someone out of the blue and he can't invite that one creepy guy.
I tried to explain that most men don't really play a huge role in a shower and that he needs to realize that. He got upset with me and said "well I guess I don't count". I pointed out that most of the people invited is his family, which he fails to see. If I had it my way, which I don't since the mothers are hosting this I wouldn't have invited half the people they did.
Any way, I am being a jerk, or is my DH being way too sensitive about my baby shower?
If it's coed and you each get to invite friends, you should both be able to add people to the list (within the hostess's limits of course). Unless this guy has disrespected you in some way, he should be on the list. You may not like him, but your DH obviously does. I don't make a habit of passing judgement on my DH's friends.
Yeah, this. To a point, if you don't want your DH involved/ don't want to invite HIS friends, then why have a coed shower?
Yes, I think he's being overly sensitive about it. But that doesn't change the fact that a COED shower usually mean BOTH parents are equally involved.
Is this ONE guy really worth dying on this hill? Sure, I can't imagine this guy is really chomping at the bit to come to a baby shower, but I still find this a weird line to draw in the sand.
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~Benjamin Franklin
Yah we are having a gender reveal in the first 30 min then they are going to the sports bar next door (they any guys that show up) they have pool, darts etc so my brother who is 16 can go with. Anyways he kept asking me about this one guy friend who I really really don't like at all! It would be super weird to invite this guy becasue he is married and his wife is def not my friend or even aquaintance so if he were invited it would he strange becasue she always tags along. She wouldn't be invited to stay after the reveal for the shower?
I would just stick with no on it. This guy he wants to invite could probably care less about the shower, the guy dh wants to invite wouldn't care about our reveal.
Yeah...this is kind of coming across as super rude now.
Co-ed means that you're inviting friends from both sides. You get your friends, DH gets his. And it's not weird that this guys wife would 'tag along'. It's basic etiquette that you're going to invite them as a married couple if it's a co-ed event. It would be super rude to say that she then couldn't stay for the 'girls-only' portion of the shower. But at the end of the day you also shouldn't be making the final decision on guest list, or inviting your own friends last minute. You and DH should each have made an equal sized list, provided the lists to the hostess, and then graciously stepped out and let her make a decision about how many people were realistic. That would have avoided this whole mess.
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I think when you agreed to have a co-ed shower, you agreed to allow your H to invite his friends -- even single friends you don't particularly like. Your husband is right that you are being unfair by vetoing his friend and then last-minute-inviting your friend.
Yea, I echo PP if it is co-ed it is just as much his day as it is yours and you have to share. Besides your going to have so many girlfriends I seriously doubt that one guy is going to hang out with all the girls. Let your husband invite him for whatever reason he is important to your hubby and he needs his buds. My husband invited some work buds I'm not too thrilled about but hey I'm going to be so busy with all my other guest I doubt it will bug me.
Re: DH & shower
Yes, I think he's being overly sensitive about it. But that doesn't change the fact that a COED shower usually mean BOTH parents are equally involved.
Is this ONE guy really worth dying on this hill? Sure, I can't imagine this guy is really chomping at the bit to come to a baby shower, but I still find this a weird line to draw in the sand.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I would just stick with no on it. This guy he wants to invite could probably care less about the shower, the guy dh wants to invite wouldn't care about our reveal.