How did you stay strong in your natural birth wishes in the moment?

kellyk17

At 36 wks I had a high BP scare this week and ended up in L&D.  Even though I have done a ton of research, made a birth plan, worked with a doula and generally super prepared I ended up not saying no to stuff I had planned to like a cervical check. Or an NST test that they are only doing due to AMA. I'm kicking myself now, but so happy that LO is still cooking and everything is looking great. 

After that experience, I'm wondering how do you stay strong in the moment of fear/nervousness when this is going down? My husband and I talked about how important it is for him to speak up for us both, but I think he so focused on keeping me calm he forgot a lot of discussions. 

joyfultrex

For me staying home as long as possible was the best thing I could do. No one could push meds or anything I didn't want if they weren't with me. Be smart and listen to your body, and don't be afraid to ask the question of why or do I have to when you are at the hospital. When the nurses asked "Can I put an IV in?" I asked if I was allowed to say No and they looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn't get an IV till after birth when they couldn't stop bleeding.

ScorpioMum

My husband. He knows what I want and don't want and the reasons why. He knows that when I start asking for pain relief that I'm in transition and it won't be much longer.

aylafsu88

I agree with Sarars128, staying home was a huge help.  At home there was not the option for pain meds.  Also, I prepared my H and doula by telling them that if I asked for anything I wanted them to be strong and positive.  When I was in transition at the hospital I did ask for a shot of something because the pressure of LO coming into the birth canal was so intense.  My doula told me I was doing a great job and that LO would be here in a few pushes.  She told me I was doing everything perfectly and the pressure was normal.  Her response calmed me down and made me realize that I didn't want anything for the pain.  I was holding LO  @ 10-15 minutes later.

MariaKeegs

I made sure I was birthing in a facility that supported med free births and I surrounded myself with the right providers, nurses, doulas and an informed and committed husband. The third time around I did it at home and there's no other choice!! Now I'm just waiting for number four to decide its time to make an appearance. Just commit, line up support, educate yourself and know you can do it!!

pdilly2b

For me, I was extremely committed to wanting to push squatting or standing or anything not on my back. Knowing that interventions would likely make that impossible led me to completely push them out of my mind as an option. It got really intense, but I really felt that my only option to get it to stop was getting the baby out, so I just kept on. Dilating took 36 hrs, but pushing only 20 min squatting and on hands and knees. Gravity was my friend, as I expected it to be.

pdilly2b

Curious? Why didn't your doula speak up? Isn't that part of what you are paying for? Also, was your care provider on board with the things you wanted to avoid ahead of time? Best to avoid these things even becoming an issue if possible. If you say not to offercervicalchecks or meds or whatever, they should respect that, and if you don't think they will, might be time for a new provider.

pdilly2b

Ah, I though your first paragraph was about a previous birth. Never mind. Same point about having them not offer things you don't want for your birth. Good luck! You can do it!

kellyk17

Thanks so much for the wonderful advice everyone. It's so supportive to hear your stories. I think pregnancy brain has gotten the best of me and i wasn't clear enough. I'm 36 wks right now, this situation happened on Tuesday of this week. So the situation was a scare, I am currently still pregnant and trying to better prep for when the big day does arrive. 

I have Crohns disease (which is remission) so didn't feel comfortable not being at a hospital just in case. We have been very clear with my OB who is on board with our plan and specifically picked her because my friend has had two natural births with her.  Everything that happened was at L&D at a hospital with a birthing center. So even though they are pro-med free, I don't think outside of the birthing center the mentality is the same.

I'll take all this to heart for the big day, thanks!

rooftop

I was lucky enough to have a very supportive team with me but my biggest help was having the time after each option was presented to discuss the pros and cons and possible alternatives to each choice. Maybe train husband to ask those questions so even if circumstances change you can still have a chance at the best possible birth and you might feel a lil more in control. Remember this is YOUR birth and you have the right to make informed decisions and the doctors should help you be as informed as possible on those decisions. GL and stay strong.

Arielle27

I think during the first birth the most important thing is to know WHY your choices are important to you and make sure to have support (your husband or others) with you who can advocate for you and remind you of those reasons.

Good luck!! And remember, no matter how things happen, at the end of the pregnancy having a safe healthy mother and baby is the most important thing!!

Snufflyfluffy

I didn't stay strong.  I asked for the drugs but my trick was that I made sure to have my mom and my doula there and that we had discussed what I wanted and they made sure that happened.  They had asked me beforehand to make sure it was OK if I asked for drugs if they could ignore me, and I said to do that, which they did.  I was not paying attention to what was going on around me so I trusted the strongwilled people I brought to make sure that everything went according to plan

tiffanyranville

I expected the worse but got the best. I kept expecting my contractions to get worse and they never did ever go there. It's all about mental preparation. Pain with purpose, it doesn't last and you get to hold your baby! I never laid down, I was always on a birthing ball everytime I attempted to lay down the contractions were a lot more painful. i used a birthing tub as well (I didn't give birth in the tub) but it relaxed me and sped my fast labor up even more. The support team around me helped so much, they were my advocates for when I was contracting. My midwife was amazing, the hospital was great no harsh lights, vanilla-lavender scented oil in the room (that wasnt my decision though and I didn't really notice it all that much but it was the thought that counted) candles around the tub (never got to light them though, I needed to push the moment in stepped in the tub). All of that helps you to have a good birthing experience, my midwife was pro me and for giving me a great birthing experience.

***I did push lying on my side. My husband held my leg up to my head and it was much more comfortable than laying on my back.

rayandbrit

I agree with staying at home as long as possible, and as PP said, I continued to prepare myself for things to get worse & harder but they never got there. The only time I felt the pain was too much was in the brief moments before she was born (transition). I felt completely in control, calm, and like everything was bearable during my whole labor experience, your body was made for this!

coco2787

Labor was extremely hard but I wouldn't describe it as "pain".  I was incredibly uncomfortable (and that is an understatement), but at no point did I feel like I needed drugs.  I delivered at a birth center and would have had to transfer to a hospital to get drugs, and I knew I wanted to stay out of a hospital.  Like others said, I kept waiting for it to get worse and be unbearable but it never got to that point.  I went into the experience with the mindset that I was going to go natural and that drugs weren't an option, and I think that was the biggest contributor to my success.  I never told myself that if it gets too bad it's okay to request pain relief.

JCWhitey

Honestly, I didn't.  I asked for an epi.  BUT, I waited to ask for it until the moment I knew I could no longer get it.  I was 7 cm and progressing fast and asking and having them pretend like it was possible helped me a ton.  But no one ever intended to give me an epi.  This sort of psychology wouldn't work for everyone, though!

But mostly having my Mom there was a huge help.  DH had been "trained" as my birth helper, but it was 2AM, he'd just had a really long, exhausting day at work, he was really overwhelmed with the whole situation, and he failed miserably at his job (until I started pushing and then he was a rock star).  Luckily, I had my Mom there who stepped up and took over and was great and so helpful.  From that experience I've seen the value of a doula.  Your DH can be prepared as possible but he may find himself being overwhelmed by seeing you in the condition you're in during labor.  A doula has been there, done that, and won't be affected by that.