Baby Shower at 37 weeks?

megswen

Hi all, lurker here with my first question! My mother-in-law and I agreed on a shower date of October 4th, when I'd be 35 weeks along (which I felt was a little late, but wasn't going to say anything, as I was thrilled that I was going to get a shower!). Today I got a text from her that said that the 4th wouldn't work for her, and she asked me if the 19th would work. The 19th would be when I'm 37 weeks. Full term. I could go at any time then (probably won't, but I could). 

Although I am so grateful that she's even throwing me a shower, I feel like that's so late in the game... I'm making myself wait until after my showers to buy anything, and I feel like if I had a shower at 37 weeks, I'd be rushing around like a mad woman, trying to buy last minute things I didn't get at the shower. On top of that, I feel like I would be so uncomfortable at 37 weeks, as I'm already starting to feel the uncomfortableness that is the third trimester. Not to mention I'd be stressed about getting thank you cards out in time while prepping everything for the baby.

I've thought about a "Meet the Baby" shower (that my mother-in-law suggested months ago), but I don't think I'd want to do that, seeing that it will be the middle of flu season when the baby comes in November. 

My question is this: what would you do? Would you suggest an earlier date? Decline the shower? I am at a complete loss, and don't want to hurt her feelings, as she gets offended really easily.

Thanks in advance for the advice.

BlondieBia21

1. 37 weeks is term, not full term.
2. 37 weeks isn't too late in the game, you would just have to prioritize to get your cards done.
3. If you think you'll be uncomfortable, I strongly suggest not doing it. You will want to be in an awesome socialable mood during your shower, if you're not you may not enjoy it.
4. Since she is offering to throw it, just voice your concern about being that far along. I had my shower at 33 weeks, could you do it before the 4th? If the date doesn't work for you, then you won't have a shower. Make sure you voice to her how appreciative you are for her offering to do the shower for you and there's no reason why she should be offended IMO.

twister22

I had a shower at 38 weeks and it was wonderful. I had a great time and still had plenty of time to get the remaining things that I needed. And, honestly, there are so many items that are truly just "nice to haves," and several items that won't get used right away.

dufferoo

I was in this position and I just told my MIL I really wasn't comfortable having a shower that close to my due date. I think she thought that was silly, as it sounds like some other posters would think, but she was still willing to accommodate. Here's the thing: yeah, all you have to do is sit around and eat cake at your shower, but assuming you are a working woman, your last few weekends are literally going to be your LAST r&r time for a very very long time!! Those days were absolutely sacred to me.

FemShep

Since it's already the middle of September, it doesn't seem like moving the shower up is a realistic option, and the 4th is no longer an option. If the weekend of the 11th doesn't work either, it seems like your only option, if you want a shower, is to gracefully accept the 19th. I wouldn't be too worried about being 37 weeks. Showers aren't that strenuous, you can go shopping online for anything you may still need, and your partner can and should help with the organizing and thank yous. You'll almost certainly be fine.

rbtrumpet

My big shower will be at 37 weeks.  I would prefer it earlier, but it just didn't work out.

I think it's probably fine.  My host teased me that I was not allowed to go early (and then told me that her first was born at 34 weeks, and she ended up having her shower after baby was born.  She said she actually really liked it that way).  In reality, most FTMs go late anyways. 

Laundry only takes a day, and my registry is through Amazon, so I plan on signing up for the free 2-week Amazon Prime trial after my shower, and completing my registry with 2-day shipping on everything .  So I should be able to have everything I want ready before baby gets here - even if I am uncomfortable and lazy, I can muster up enough energy to do minimal work

Then again, I already have some clothes (from smaller showers, and hand-me-downs), a pack of newborn diapers (planning on CD, but if she comes early, I'll have something), and a cradle for her to sleep in.  So I figure I already have everything I *need* right away.

mplesset23

Darbie914 said:

Having a shower at 37 weeks can be cutting it close a tad.  However, the only thing the baby truly needs when it comes is a place to sleep, food, clothes, and diapers.  If you can get those things ready before the shower, you're set!  

You could purchase the big ticket items now and if you should happen to receive duplicates at the shower, just return them and exchange them.  

Yes, you may be uncomfortable at 37 weeks but think of it this way: all you have to do is sit, open presents, and eat cake.  It's nothing more than you would do if you were hanging around at home.  

I agree with this.  I think my shower was maybe 5 weeks before my due date with DS1.  

Sam Buttons

If you want a shower, just go with the suggested date.

On average first babies are 8 days late, which means you'd have a whole month to prepare - and, trust me, you'll want something to do to pass the time, even if you are working.

If you are nervous about going early, go buy the items your baby will need: one big box of newborn diapers, wipes, a place for them to sleep (can be a pnp, rnp, etc) and a car seat - if you are bf'ing that is literally all you need those first few weeks.

wittyschaffy

If you're uncomfortable with it, perhaps you can have a shower after the fact.  I had a shower at 36 weeks pregnant and lo and behold, my baby was born a week and a half later!  It isn't typical for that to happen but it certainly can.  Some other family friends had intentionally scheduled a shower for after we had the baby so they could meet him or her (ended up being a girl).  It was equally fun to show the baby off to a group of ladies who were SO excited about her arrival.  

megswen

Thank you everyone! Such good advice. It's nice to feel like I can relate, and nice to know that everything will work out. We're having the shower on the 19th.

babymama619

I'd probably express my concern since she asked. Also, I'm not sure how registry completion coupons work, but I don't think they come out until after the shower date so you probably wouldn't be able to use it for things like the crib and other essentials. I'd ask to see if she could donut earlier. But if not it will work out and make sure you have a group of family and friends ready to help finalize everything!

MrsBynum0505

I got out coupon today in the mail for the registry completion. So don't let that worry you. My shower is 2 weeks before our DD and while I'm not thrilled about it, I'm thankful that my friends and family are having me one.

neverblushed

You'll be fine. Enjoy your shower.

In the unlikely event that you have the baby before the shower, people who bought important infant gear will get the gifts to you so that you can begin using them when you bring the baby home, and your MIL will re-tool the shower as a "meet the baby" event.  

August & After

As long as it is local, I'm sure you are fine. Worst case, it gets canceled at the last minute because you are in labor.

BC&LM

If she wouldn't be offended, I would express your concerns to her and ask if you can do it sooner rather than later. Most likely you will make it to 39-40 weeks and have plenty of time to do everything. However, you never know. I ended up having preeclampsia and having to deliver at 36 weeks. I was very grateful my shower was at 34 weeks.