Let's talk about sex, baby...

KC1212

I hate planned sex. I really do. But how can you NOT plan TTC?

Plus now I have some funk going on. I don't know if it's allergies or a cold and I don't want to throw this month down the drain (I'm not mentally ready for a break month)

So I guess I dope up with some drugs and power through? Last night DH and just went to sleep (sexy, right?)

This post has no point, just a mild vent about how fast TTC will make sex feel like a chore LOL

annibes

I think you and I are the same person in different parts of the country. I was just thinking this last night, as I thought, "I should go seduce DH, but my tummy hurts." Sleep won out, and I still feel cruddy.

TTC sex is so frustrating. I feel like DH and I might enjoy it more if we just took a month or two off to have fun, but it's been such a chore that I'm worried we won't do it at all and I don't want to completely miss out on our (even slim) chances!!

I am also ticked off because I've had major stomach troubles the last few days, mid cycle. This makes it hard to TTC. On top of it, I can't mention that I feel like crap to anyone because they're all like, "oooh, I bet you're pregnant!!" Yep, that's me. Annibes, who gets morning sickness and heartburn before O. But I want a baby so badly that I have to fight the urge to buy into the idea.

2IF sucks. Vent over. Thanks for the chance to unload!

pettycrocker

Robitussin is supposed to help with CM. Go with the 'tussin and lots of planned sex. It'll be super funsies. 

roughkat

IF is the worst if you want a libido.  Between a toddler sapping all of my energy and patience (today I tried to give DS away to someone in the street but even they wouldn't take him), depression about IF, and timing sex, I never want it.  Ever.  In some ways graduating to IUIs is kind of nice because it takes the pressure off, even though I never thought that I might conceive a child without the father even needing to be in the room.

In short, yeah, I'd take a good night's sleep over sex almost any day of the week at this point.  Makes you feel old, doesn't it?

freakyfast

roughkat said:

IF is the worst if you want a libido.  Between a toddler sapping all of my energy and patience (today I tried to give DS away to someone in the street but even they wouldn't take him), depression about IF, and timing sex, I never want it.  Ever.  In some ways graduating to IUIs is kind of nice because it takes the pressure off, even though I never thought that I might conceive a child without the father even needing to be in the room.

In short, yeah, I'd take a good night's sleep over sex almost any day of the week at this point.  Makes you feel old, doesn't it?

I'm with you on a good nights sleep.

KC1212

Thanks for helping me not feel alone ladies!

For me it is a complete mental hurdle. If its planned then it tends to kill the mood for us before we even start.

But when it's just whatever...well, that's all good. We try to still, I hate to say "do it for fun" but, it is what is, we try to still do it for fun during other times in my cycle as well.

But something about HAVING to do it just puts us in a funk!

I agree - IUI's were kind of a break for me. I don't imagine doing his business in a doctors office full of old used porn did my Hubby's libido any favors but I was relaxed! LOL

roughkat

You are most definitely not alone!

Honestly, I'm sure jacking off in an office is terrible.  Really, I understand that.  But there was also this feeling that now we are really in this together.  We've both had to undergo super unromantic and invasive things to try to achieve pregnancy.  And DH said that it helped him to understand that this was really happening, and it sucks, and in that sense helped our relationship.

My friend (who got pregnant with her son on her first cycle and only wants one child) said that every time one has sex with one's husband, it's making love.  I almost laughed in her face.  Instead I said, "Not when you've been trying to get pregnant for 21 months, it's not!"

kmwills

This thread made me lol.  Someone needs to tell DH that it's not just me!  Although last cycle, I had to drag him to the bed during my FW.  A couple times, he couldn't even finish - just exhausted from working two jobs and having a 3-yr-old.  haha!  But don't tell him I told you all!

KC1212

kmwills said:

This thread made me lol.  Someone needs to tell DH that it's not just me!  Although last cycle, I had to drag him to the bed during my FW.  A couple times, he couldn't even finish - just exhausted from working two jobs and having a 3-yr-old.  haha!  But don't tell him I told you all!

Your secret is safe LOL My husband works two jobs too! So I totally get it and I have a 20 month old and he is lots of fun but makes me one tired momma at the end of the day!

Sweetest116

How about when DH wants to have fun sex but you're close to ovulating and it would be off of the schedule, so you tell him no way... and then when it's time no one wants to do it.  Awesome. 

I think A LOT of men have trouble getting it up and/or climaxing during timed sex.  No one talks about it, but I think it's common.  The pressure is a lot and it's just not fun.

AlmostWright

This is something people without IF do not understand at all!