Using a name already in the family...

robertin

My husband and are expecting our first daughter in January.  We're having a very hard time agreeing on names, and he doesn't even offer any!  The only name he likes is Emily.  I love that name, but the problem is that is the name of my brother's fiancee.  What are your thoughts on using it anyway?  I just don't know if I could do it.  I feel like I want our daughter to have her "own" name if that makes sense?

Dr.Loretta

I don't buy the whole "my child has to have their own name" deal. Unless you create a name, your child will have a name that is shared by other people in this world, possibly a lot of other people. They will be their own person no matter what their name is.

Whether you use it has a lot of variables IMO. Do you like your FSIL? Do you worry that your FSIL will go over the top in thinking you named your child after her? Or will she be honored that you like her name enough to use it?

If it were me, I'd totally use it.

TikiTurtle

I agree with PP that you could totally still use it, but if you feel that would be weird you could choose something similar like Emilia

lifeonthehill

I wouldn'y use it but that is only because my entire family resides within a few hours of each other and we spend gobs of time together. A few names in my family I would love to use.

If we were a family where we were only together a few days a year it wouldn't bother me in the slightest though!

mh89

I wouldn't use a name already in the family unless you were honoring that family member. I suppose there are variables though... do you spend a lot of time with your brother and his fiancé? Is Emily a name you and DH love so much you'll regret not using it? If that's the case, then use it anyway. If not, then keep looking.

mylilwildflower

mh89 said:

I wouldn't use a name already in the family unless you were honoring that family member. I suppose there are variables though... do you spend a lot of time with your brother and his fiancé? Is Emily a name you and DH love so much you'll regret not using it? If that's the case, then use it anyway. If not, then keep looking.

I agree with this! I personally wouldn't use it but I suppose it would be fine. Emily is a great timeless name. another one I like that has the same feel ( for me anyway) is Julia

Linnea503

I wouldn't feel comfortable using it. Also, my DH is the same way. He doesn't offer ideas, just vetoes mine!

queenbone

I probably wouldn't simply because it would be somewhat confusing w/i the family. If it were a family name (as in to honor a relative) I would give a duplicate name a pass, but in this case you aren't naming her after the fiancee right? Plus would your brother and she think the baby was being named in honor of her? Would it bother you if she thought that? Would it bother you if they later divorced because of something she did?

sorry, I'm going off on a tangent of overanalizing this myself. Whoops!

VineyardMel

I don't like family repeats because they inevitably end up having something else tied to the name to differentiate. She would probably always be "little Emily" or some other nick name and I personally wouldn't like that.

KikiCohen

Maybe you could use it as a MN?  I was going to use my grandmother's FN as a MN if P would have been a girl.  I would have used it as a FN, but my cousin has that same FN and I didn't want things to get confusing.

msronzio

Since she's not blood related, in this case I would use it, or at least use it as a MN spot or a variation. That's just us though

tbug09

I would use it if you both like it