Depressed Husband

hollyhastobe

This, my first, pregnancy has been wonderful. The baby is health, and I have not had any crazy pain or discomfort. Other than a depressed husband. The waves of discontent or whatever it is comes and goes. We have a very busy life, and that has not changed once we found out we were having a babe. Over the summer I have tried to eliminated added stress on him, and encouraged him to become more involved in her gym and with friends to keep him active and engaged in something besides me and work. Before baby these were the things that made him happy, but not any more. He is in a rut of hating work, not sleeping and worry.

Over the long weekend I thought there was hope. He was back to his old self. But then Wednesday hit and he was back to being moody and short. 

Anyone else dealing with this sort of thing, and have you found any ways to help?  

Ledo

My husband has always battled with anxiety issues that have led to depressions many times.  Considering that we are now expecting the twins, he really started spiraling down much like you've described your husband.  For him, the best solution has always been to get him back on a low dose anxiety pill and talking with a therapist until he can get back up on top of his own mind (if that makes sense). 
Has your husband ever tried either of those things?  Is that something that you think he would be open to?  Obviously, he's going to have to be invested in getting help or it wont work, but maybe if you suggest it he will be more interested. 
I've seen the therapy and pills work wonderful for my husband, and no he doesn't have to stay on the pills or live at the therapists office.  Normally it takes maybe a few months and he gets back to his old self and feels good about life again.  And, it always seems to help that we know he has a route for getting help when things go crazy again...these times also have gotten much fewer and further between as the years pass.

I hope some of this makes sense, having serious pregnancy brain today.   And I'm sorry he is having issues and thus you are too...I know for a fact that it can be really hard to deal with.  It hurts to see your husband hurt and it makes it even worse that we really need them to be strong for us right now too.  Hang in there girl.

SuperSecretStatus

I live with severe depression and adjustment disorder. Is your husband in therapy/counseling or on medication? I have been off medication my entire pregnancy but made it through so far with just counseling.

The best way that you can help is to just be there for him. You can't "fix" or really help a person with depression. Be there for him to talk to when he needs it, and try to understand that this is not just a "rut" he's going through.

HFrizzle

I think it's common for the man of the house to worry and be depressed, especially if its the first baby. They are suppose to provide for their families and that's a lot for them to take on, plus all the other changes that come with a baby. But that doesn't mean that his outside activities have to end. It's a balancing act and you both will find that it takes time to adjust, but life will go on.

I agree with what the other posters said, talking to someone can be very helpful. Even if its not a counselor or medical professional, but someone that he can just let everything out to and release some of the anxiety and get advice from. Maybe even picking him up a book that he can read about fatherhood and the changes that come. Something funny & lighthearted but still touches on all the issues.

Karadee1

I've been there. Sometimes the only thing that will help is talking to someone (a professional) and/or medication. I was on lexapro before I was pregnant and it literally saved/changed my life. I can handle anxiety and depression much better now even off of it. It can help even as a temporary solution, sometimes it is needed for longer though. Letting him know that all of this is OK can go a long way to helping as well.