Night Nurses: Discuss

cja06

Just read an article on the increasing popularilty of night nurses so new moms (particularly working moms) can get a full night's rest to meet the demands of work and family. Thoughts? Would you get one if money was not an option?

https://www.chicagobusiness.com/article/20130831/ISSUE03/308319992/the-working-moms-secret-weapon-a-night-nurse?r=3226I4600701D8W

sugarland726

While this statement in the article is definitely true: “Breastfeeding is a big thing now, and you can't really breastfeed if you're exhausted because you can't produce enough milk.”

If you are nursing your child, you need to be getting up with them when they wake overnight either to nurse or to pump. Otherwise your body doesn't know it needs to make milk overnight and your supply will not be strong enough. I'm can't say I'd judge a mom who did this, but a part of me thinks, "Well that's just parenting. No one leaves the hospital expecting LO to sleep from 7-7 straight at 3 days old." To each their own. But not for me.

bethughknee

What @sugarland726 said. If you have the money for a night nurse, why not just take more mat leave? I guess if you NEED to be at work to keep a career going, that's a good argument for it. But parenting =/= sleep. I'm not even a parent yet and I know that. If money was no object, I'd rather take more leave. Or just move to Canada where they give it to you!

Roses87

Why have kids if you don't want to care for them fully. I know my comment may get flamed. I am all for getting a baby sitter once it a great while so my hubby  and i can have a night out, but every night of the week? Its crazy to me. 

Roses87

to add on to my comment of "Why have kids if you don't want to care for them fully". So if your a working parent and thats why u have a night nanny and the kids go to day care during the day because you work. When do u care for your kids? its like your kids wont even know you. 

Unknown

This content has been removed.

LimeDrops

Having someone wandering around my house at night would just totally freak me out, helpful or not

cja06

While I love the idea of being able to get some solid uninterupted sleep, I would feel incredibly guilty and probably selfish getting a night nurse personally. I agree with @sugarland726 about needing to be either nursing or pumping when the baby is being fed to keep supply up. I would be curious if these moms are giving their baby breast milk 100% of the time or are supplementing, as I don't see how their supply would be sustainable using a night nurse.

As for the comments on taking more leave, I think the point is most of these women have work demands that don't really afford them to take any real substantial leave (which is a personal choice). It harkens back to Marissa Mayer only taking a week of leave (as I recall) at Yahoo before she was back on e-mail.

I have consciously made the decision not to take on higher pressure jobs because I know I want to have kids. I don't think I would want a position right now that wouldn't allow me a decent maternity leave, and I don't see the point in having a night nurse if you are not working. Sleep deprevation is part of the job of being a parent IMO.  

sugarland726

Roses87 said:

to add on to my comment of "Why have kids if you don't want to care for them fully". So if your a working parent and thats why u have a night nanny and the kids go to day care during the day because you work. When do u care for your kids? its like your kids wont even know you. 

Well aren't you just a pleasant, holier than thou, know it all, first time mom.

katags

I don't think I'd sleep well even if I had a night nurse. I'm a natural worrier and if I heard baby crying, I'd always wonder if she was ok, if the nurse needed help, etc.

Add that to the fact that I'm going to be away from her all day working, and trying to continue breastfeeding/pumping, etc. I don't know that I'd do this. Now I would possibly pay to have a full time, live in nanny (if I could afford it) in a situation when my husband was deployed. I knew a fellow military spouse that did this, and it seemed wonderful. The nanny would help out with laundry, etc. She was around at night, but technically wasn't responsible for care during the night shift. I can see though that it'd be nice to know someone else was around for moral support/emergency situation if my DH couldn't be there. I wouldn't do it though if DH were home.

brideandbreve

Roses87 said:

to add on to my comment of "Why have kids if you don't want to care for them fully". So if your a working parent and thats why u have a night nanny and the kids go to day care during the day because you work. When do u care for your kids? its like your kids wont even know you. 

I'm sorry, your degree in child psychology is from where?

brideandbreve

Having a night nurse isn't for me.

I think the first few weeks of your child's life are crucially important, not just for your baby, but also for you. It's a huge learning curve, running on sleep deprivation and euphoric love for your little one, and trying to find your groove as a new parent.

I don't knock moms who have the money or the resources to have a night nurse because I feel like those women are wired differently from me. I've never been career-driven. I didn't pursue a line of work or a career path that would force me to put my job over my kids. That's what worked for me, but I know I'm not every woman out there, so I try not to judge.

Ultimately, I think motherhood comes with sleepless nights, sacrificing your needs/wants for those of your child, and putting your kids first. I feel like that's common sense, and that's been "the way it is" for a long time, so I have a hard time relating to women who don't get this, but to each their own.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Roses87

wilburbud said:

Roses87 said:

Why have kids if you don't want to care for them fully. I know my comment may get flamed. I am all for getting a baby sitter once it a great while so my hubby  and i can have a night out, but every night of the week? Its crazy to me.  `

wilburbud said:

Roses87 said:

Why have kids if you don't want to care for them fully. I know my comment may get flamed. I am all for getting a baby sitter once it a great while so my hubby  and i can have a night out, but every night of the week? Its crazy to me. 

Wow.. I'm really, REALLY shocked by this statement.  So working moms are less of a mom?

Thats why I added the other statement. What I was trying to get at If your kids are in daycare all day and then you pick them up at 530-630 after work because the article did say for working parents.. Then you get a night nanny at 7-730 thats an hour to an hr and a half you spend with your kids. Where is the quality time? its not fair for the kids. I am not bashing working moms, i am against the fact of working all day and then having a night nanny. Your kids never see you. I will be working and family will be watching part time. I would never in a million years hire someone at night. Its not fair for the kids. This is my point of view and i am sure ppl have differing opinions. There are plenty of fantastic parents who work full time and their kids are in daycare full time and they are fantastic parents. My brother/SIL being one of those ppl. They try never to plan things in the evening so they have that time with their son since they dont see them in the day time. This post was posted on night nannys and that was my opinion on it. My post was not directed towards working parents. 

sugarland726

So am I a bad parent because I work all day and then do some Mom's Night Out events without kids or husbands? Is my husband a bad father because he hangs out with friends every Thursday night after work? What about when we send her to my mother's in a few weeks from Friday-Sunday to attend a wedding for friends? Because while you say your post isn't directed towards working parents, but I sure am feeling judgement from you if I spend any time away from my daughter that is outside 8-5.

Roses87

sugarland726 said:

So am I a bad parent because I work all day and then do some Mom's Night Out events without kids or husbands? Is my husband a bad father because he hangs out with friends every Thursday night after work? What about when we send her to my mother's in a few weeks from Friday-Sunday to attend a wedding for friends? Because while you say your post isn't directed towards working parents, but I sure am feeling judgement from you if I spend any time away from my daughter that is outside 8-5.

No of course not.. The article was for 5-7 days out of the week for hiring a night nanny. I was referencing to the article and to that only.. Of course everyone is going to have things to do here and there that does not involve kids. And sometimes ppl need those night for themselves. Again I was only refering to the article that stated working full time during the day and hiring a full time nanny at night. 

nbbride06

Absolutely.  SIL had one and she was amazing.  It didn't mean a full night's sleep since she was nursing, but the night nurse brought the baby to her to nurse, then took baby to burp, change, get back to sleep.  It was wonderful for mom and dad, especially since they had a toddler.  If I could, I would hire one in a heartbeat!

PBP2002

MarBee1214 said:

I was so confused at first....I thought your post was about the increasing popularity of nurses working night shift instead of day shift lol... 

so...ok...night nurse like a nanny?  I think that's crazy for a couple reasons... a few have already been mentioned, but also, when my kid cries in the middle of the night because she is hungry or sick or whatever the case may be...I want her to know I'M there to comfort her... kids have to establish trust with their parents at a very early age. Erikson's stages of Psychosocial Development have trust vs. mistrust as the very first developmental milestone for babies.  Your kid learns to trust someone else to take care of him/her...you've put yourself in a bad situation.

This.  Plus - if you want to nurse your child, even if being tired might hurt your supply, not getting up to actually nurse them is going to do WAY more damage to it.

Ladams30

I wouldn't want anyone outside of family taking that time to bond with my children.  Will it always be me?  No, probably not because my mom loves having her grandkids over.  But I would like for DH and I to be the primary caretakers. 

jmjj1310

MarBee1214 said:

I was so confused at first....I thought your post was about the increasing popularity of nurses working night shift instead of day shift lol... 

so...ok...night nurse like a nanny?  I think that's crazy for a couple reasons... a few have already been mentioned, but also, when my kid cries in the middle of the night because she is hungry or sick or whatever the case may be...I want her to know I'M there to comfort her... kids have to establish trust with their parents at a very early age. Erikson's stages of Psychosocial Development have trust vs. mistrust as the very first developmental milestone for babies.  Your kid learns to trust someone else to take care of him/her...you've put yourself in a bad situation.

This. 

rowanthefrog

I haven't used one for my past two kids. My older sister had terrible PPD with her first and hired one to come two evenings a week when she had her second. She said it was heaven. Night nurse would bring baby to her to BF and then handle all diaper changes, burping and putting back to bed. Would also clean, do laundry, etc.

My sisters, mom and I paid for one for my younger sister when she had her third baby. Again, just a couple of nights a week for 5-6 weeks. They have been talking about giving me one when this one is born. I'm not going to turn it down. Both my sisters said it was great to know that 2 nights a week you would get a decent stretch of sleep. And it was only for a few weeks.

A

mommabird77

I think having one for just 1-2 nights a week would be really nice.  I was a walking zombie when I went back to work after having my son, and honestly have barely slept through the night in 3 years.  Not something I would want to do every night or all the time though.

growingmybun

Night nurses are really common amongst my group of friends.  I may be the only one that didn't have a night nurse when our first kids were born.  So, this is my defense of the night nurse. Most people are a wreck without sleep.  And, if you are one of those people and it makes your daytime more pleasant with your baby (and older kids), then the night nurse actually enhances your bond/time with the baby.  I was so sleep deprived when my son was born that I spent most days falling in and out of sleep, just trying to keep it together.  Night nurse would have helped all of that. With that said, I'm not getting one this time either.  I am a big believer in not buying your way out of every tough situation.

Lena122

Not my thing but like the article said, they've been around forever so I don't find it all that weird.