DH vent (long)

helenkayj

There have been a lot of these so I thought I'd join in...

Since having little one, we have really REALLY struggled with bills and the like.  When I asked DH to look into it when we were preg, apparently he didn't ask the right questions and low and behold we do not have a FAMILY deductible of $3000, it's a INDIVIDUAL deductible of $3000 which means if we all get sick in a year we can owe $9000+ (because that's just the deductible).  Which technically happened because my DH got kidney stones back in Nov... BUT I digress.

What I really got on here to vent about is that he is so afraid of change that he will not go out and DO something about our financial situation!!!! We had to ask MY parents for help! I'm more of the money maker in the family (and I'm a teacher so that should paint a picture for ya) and I have the boobs so I don't feel like I should have to be the one going out there and trying to find a second job.  He refuses to try and find a second job but also HATES his current job and so I'm trying VERY hard to convince him that he should go try and find a better one.  All I hear is that the economy isn't good enough for him to find a better job and that his degree isn't hiring right now (Associates in technology engineering). HE WON'T EVEN LOOK!!!

I finally convinced him to go give plasma which he also hates... he says he feels like a whore giving his body away... but the only reason I got him to do that was because he wanted to buy a video game (Final Fantasy) and I told him he couldn't unless he found a way to pay for it.  He was whining all week because he feels like his hobbies have gone by the wayside since we've had a kid (he's gotten to play A LOT more than I expected he would).... I told him this is the first time in YEARS I'd be wearing the same school clothes and shoes as last year (okay two years ago since last year was maternity) AND I canceled a hair appointment and my gym membership so that we would have money for groceries.  

Okay vent over... I love my husband with all my heart but sometimes he can be so damn sensitive that I can't stand it! I need to vent here so that I can get it all off my chest.

snowgirl427

Not to sound like I don't understand, but if you are not doing things so you can put food on the table, seems like his plasma money had better uses than a video game.

It seems likes it is time to grow up. I make a very good salary and DH and I still do without.... We buy clothes at target and on sale at that. We do this so that we can live in a nice house, enjoy dinner out once a week and set us up financially for retirement.

Sounds like he needs to realize it is not about him anymore. He can resume his hobbies when you guys are in a better place.

I'm not trying to be mean but I often go into the schools and teach financial literacy and it AMAZES me how little teenagers (and some of the teachers) really know about the basics like budgeting, saving and living within your means. Seems like your DH needs a lesson. I hope things get better.

TheyCalledHerKate

It sounds to me like your husband isn't pulling his weight and is acting like a child. Sorry but if you are struggling to put food on the table and your H is worried about buying the new final fantasy game then that's a problem. You have a baby now, it's time for him to grow up. He needs to stop spending time playing video games and start spending time updating his résumé and applying for jobs.

TheyCalledHerKate

PS- this behavior would be a dealbreaker for me. Either grow up and be responsible or deal with the alternative.