Stay at Home Moms

If you were an only child

How do you feel it shaped your personality?

The only grown only child I know very well is spoiled, socially awkward, and abnormally attached to her father at 30 years old, and unmarried, lol. I know it's not always like that, but if we do decide to be OAD, I don't want to feel like I'm robbing ds of something or making him an introvert. Do you still feel like you had a fun childhood? Did your parents make extra effort to socialize you and such?
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Re: If you were an only child

  • I'm an only child. I am kind of awkward with my peers. I do really well with elders. I am very independent and was always able to entertain myself. I do best with people one on one. I missed having siblings and real nieces and nephews. But T isn't really going to be a full only child. How often do you have your SD?

    Just every other weekend, and with her being 10 years older, I know she'll lose interest in him in a couple years, lol.
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    **Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**

    Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
    BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
    June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
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  • Well, I've never been accused of being an introvert, so I think you'll be safe. I've been accused of being spoiled, but mostly just on here.
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  • 30 years old and single? Shun!

    I know that's very normal in other parts of the country but here in the boondocks, most people are married by 25. Not saying it's the right way; just how it is around here. Plus, this gal doesn't date. Like, ever.
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    **Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**

    Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
    BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
    June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
    Dieted and exercised my butt off for PCOS = BFP 5/7/2012
    Due 12/29/2012
  • I feel like I am pretty well-adjusted. I didn't want for much, but I appreciated all I was given. Very social and very close to my parents. The negatives are I yearned (still do) for siblings and I feel a lot of pressure as my parents age.
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  • I feel like I am pretty well-adjusted. I didn't want for much, but I appreciated all I was given. Very social and very close to my parents. The negatives are I yearned (still do) for siblings and I feel a lot of pressure as my parents age.
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  • To add to the question, if you longed for siblings, did having cousins close by help if you did?

    DS has a cousin that's 2 years older, and I'm sure they'll be close. Plus, my sister is about to start ttc again, so they'll probably have one a year or two younger as well.
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    **Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**

    Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
    BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
    June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
    Dieted and exercised my butt off for PCOS = BFP 5/7/2012
    Due 12/29/2012
  • To add to the question, if you longed for siblings, did having cousins close by help if you did? DS has a cousin that's 2 years older, and I'm sure they'll be close. Plus, my sister is about to start ttc again, so they'll probably have one a year or two younger as well.
    Yes and no. I had a cousin close in age and we were close. BUT, she has siblings. So, even thoughi needed her as a pseudo sibling, she didn't need that from me, if that makes sense.
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  • trizzie said:

    Hollylb3 said:

    To add to the question, if you longed for siblings, did having cousins close by help if you did?

    DS has a cousin that's 2 years older, and I'm sure they'll be close. Plus, my sister is about to start ttc again, so they'll probably have one a year or two younger as well.

    Yes and no. I had a cousin close in age and we were close. BUT, she has siblings. So, even thoughi needed her as a pseudo sibling, she didn't need that from me, if that makes sense.
    That does, thanks.

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    **Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**

    Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
    BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
    June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
    Dieted and exercised my butt off for PCOS = BFP 5/7/2012
    Due 12/29/2012
  • Both DH and I are only kids, so DD will have no aunts or uncles.  I don't feel I was spoiled at all. When I was little I wanted a play mate, kinda lonely at times.  After I grew out of that I was fine and always had great friends.  I remember my mom at one time wanted to adopt (my dad was fixed) she was in her late 30s.  My dad felt very strongly about not having another one and it caused great tension in their marriage.  I remember my mom at one point saying she wanted to divorce my dad.  she wanted another kid that bad.  now she doesn't care so much cause she has DD now.  I felt I was really over protected though all the way up to my mid 20s.  I lived at home during college and they gave me a curfew which sux when you want to stay out at the clubs.

    I was shy when I was a kid, but not so much anymore.  I teach kids music and love being social. DH is even more social than me.  He is a photographer and is always dealing with people and is really great at it.  Because we were both only kids that's why we want 2. 
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  • I'm an only- a lonely only as I like to tease my mom, but I'm really not that lonely. I can be an introvert and an extrovert and was like that as a child too. I can hang by myself and have always had a great imagination and I am pretty outgoing in order to meet new friends. I am definetely spoiled- I never had to compete for time or attention. Now that I am older, I wish I had siblings to talk about how crazy our parents are! I also wish I had siblings to help care for my mother as she gets older, but that is still years aways.
    ETA: My dad, who I am not at all close with, has 2 girls, but they are 18 and 20 years younger than me, so I still count myself as an only.
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  • Thanks for the input, everyone. It's definitely a lot to think about.
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    **Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**

    Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
    BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
    June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
    Dieted and exercised my butt off for PCOS = BFP 5/7/2012
    Due 12/29/2012
  • I am an only. I was always a social butterfly but am admittedly a little self centered. I really didn't like growing up that way, close relationships with cousins didn't make up for it. On the other hand I have a friend who is an only, very similar personality to me, and loved being an only so much that she's currently raising an only child. It's all a crapshoot. My dh grew up with siblings and hates them.
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  • M0ONM0ON member
    edited August 2013
    I was the stereotypical spoiled rotten only child, but I totally grew out of it in my late teens.

    My husband is also an only child, but he wasnt spoiled at all as a kid.

    We are both easy going, friendly, nonmaterialistic people.

    Btw, when we got married, the judge told us that marriages between two only children have a higher divorce rate than any other kind. Weird.
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  • M0ON said:



    Btw, when we got married, the judge told us that marriages between two only children have a higher divorce rate than any other kind. Weird.

    That doesn't surprise me in the slightest. No offense. :)

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    **Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**

    Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
    BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
    June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
    Dieted and exercised my butt off for PCOS = BFP 5/7/2012
    Due 12/29/2012
  • I think I'm pretty well adjusted.  I married DH when I was 20, we have 3 kids.  I did feel lonely as a child not having any siblings. When I was a kid I constantly got in trouble for talking in school.  As an adult I'm introvert, I overall don't care for many people, most people's BS just annoys me.  I'm much happier to stay home and watch TV with my family than to be "out and about" (I don't really get cabin fever).  We have 3 boys, I would love a baseball team full of boys but we're done.

    Don't get me wrong, there are benefits to being an only, but I would've loved a sibling growing up.

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  • I'm an only child. I did not like it growing up, and I liked it even less when it came to caring for my ailing parents and planning my Moms funeral by myself. I don't like that I have no one to share my childhood memories with (dad has Alzheimer's). I had cousins close in age. We were close but it's not at all the same. I did not want that for my children.
  • I am an only child.

    So spoiled growing up - yup.
    Very close to my parents now - yup.

    But although I had a lot of friends I did feel lonely at times and that is a reason I want my son to have siblings. I have a cousin close in age and we were very close growing up.....but she has a brother and now that they both have their own families we rarely see each other.

    My parents are both from large families and I really love hearing their stories about their childhood and their plays and fights. They are all still very close to each other.

    I am very social and extrovert for sure. But I am also a bit oversensitive and I think that comes from the attitude my parents had with me....it was like the world is turning around you thing. But I believe that every story in different.

    I have a BA degree, me and my hubby have very hard work ethic, own few properties and we are in our early 30s. So I think who we are today is a combination of everything in life,...not only being an only child or not....

    My DH has siblings and they are not so close at all.

    Hope that helps...




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  • DH and I are both only children so my kids only have Great Aunts and Uncles.  We have some close friends that we call Aunt or Uncle so and so.  Because we both wanted siblings as kids we were determined to give our daughter a sibling.  I was an only child and I had no cousins until I was 9.  We lived in a neighborhood with all older people and I was often lonely even though I had my Mom to play with.

    My husband was adopted and had older parents.  They were very involved with him and he was in a ton of activities but he always longed for a sibling but would never say anything to his parents b/c he didn't want to upset them.  Since they are older, DH's father has already had some major health issues and had a very major stroke.  MIL and FIL had been divorced for over 15 years at that point and DH had to do everything alone with me to sell off his property and move him from a state away to a nursing home in our state.  

    As far as personality goes.  Since I was the only kid in the family for 9 years I was very spoiled though we didn't have very much money.  My Mom was a single parent and would spend every spare penny on me and my family would too.  I notice that I struggle with sharing and so does DH.  Even as adults if he gets something new I tend to get jealous and now that I'm having another kid I feel like everything has to be fair and even.

    I'm not trying to make it sound bad but I guess I would have rather had a sibling than all of the stuff and DH felt the same way.
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  • Yeah, it's not that I'm worried about providing for 2. It's that I just don't know if I want another one. I love ds with everything I have, but this crap is hard, and I know it's not gonna get easier. : /

    I confess, I think I have the personality of an only. I'm kinda spoiled, selfish, and I like to get my way. But I'm a middle. Maybe my childlikeness will compensate for him not having a sibling, lol.
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    **Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**

    Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
    BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
    June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
    Dieted and exercised my butt off for PCOS = BFP 5/7/2012
    Due 12/29/2012
  • I'm an only and we are choosing to have more than one child partly because of my experience. I was very sensitive and shy as a kid because my mom was over protective and kind of judgemental of other moms and kids. Plus there's always been a lot of pressure and focus on me since I'm the only child and my mom SAH. Actually I'm just now starting to break out from under her influence and stick to my own opinions and decisions at the age of 31. Obviously that's a larger issue, but siblings would have balanced the dynamic I think.

    Another issue is that while I am very close to my parents and they have been a wonderful support to me, the flip side of that is now that they're older and having health problems I feel like i don't have anyone to go through this with. And emotionally growing up I always wanted a sibling and was sad not to have any. I had friends and cousins, but it isn't the same.

    So we do want to have more children, but I've always wanted more than one for those reasons especially.
  • Check out the only child board on here--it is a great resource.

    I have one sister, who I really get along with, but I still want only one child.  My dad has a brother that he does not have anything to do with, and they live 60 miles apart.  My dad had to take care of all of the funeral arrangements for his mom this spring--my uncle did nothing.

    Siblings are not a guarantee of the fact that they will get along.

    Onlies can be lonely.  Children with siblings can grow up lonely too, and spoiled.

    Regardless of how many children you have, they can all have issues, period.  It doesn't matter if they are only children or children with siblings; each person has their own struggles.
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  • I'm an only and we are choosing to have more than one child partly because of my experience. I was very sensitive and shy as a kid because my mom was over protective and kind of judgemental of other moms and kids. Plus there's always been a lot of pressure and focus on me since I'm the only child and my mom SAH. Actually I'm just now starting to break out from under her influence and stick to my own opinions and decisions at the age of 31. Obviously that's a larger issue, but siblings would have balanced the dynamic I think. Another issue is that while I am very close to my parents and they have been a wonderful support to me, the flip side of that is now that they're older and having health problems I feel like i don't have anyone to go through this with. And emotionally growing up I always wanted a sibling and was sad not to have any. I had friends and cousins, but it isn't the same. So we do want to have more children, but I've always wanted more than one for those reasons especially.
    I dread this day.  Plus DH is an only so he will have to go thru it too.  I always knew I wanted 2 kids because of my own experiences.
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