Today I found out that my baby is a girl, which floored me! I was so convinced she was a he! I am SO excited to share with and the U/S pics with my PAP Sat! I could use the help of your ladies with my list of questions for the first meetup Sat. I want to be open and brutally honest because I'd rather get it all out now than get their hopes up and find out it won't work later. I don't want to seem like I'm assaulting them or insult in any way, though. I asked the agency director to encourage them to bring a list of Q's as well. I feel nosy about my Q's but that fact is they will be taking my baby forever and they have pages upon pages of my personal info including all medical records, even high school GPA and TONS of history. OK, Q's I'm thinking:
How do you feel about open adoption? I would like weekly updates and pics the first three months followed by monthly updates after. I would like 4 visits the first year, maybe negotiate after that. I plan to breastfeed the baby in the hospital and I plan for her to stay with me as long as I am in the hospital. I want to pump breastmilk after that and get it to you for 4-8 weeks after, depending on how I feel. (I was thinking of asking to bring the breast milk during that time once a week but I am nervous it will be too hard on me to see the baby that soon and often and that it will be straining on the family- what do y'all think?)
I'd love to develop the kind of relationship where I text/ call you with regular pregnancy updates and include you in everything, and I'd love to perpetuate that after the baby comes. I'd love if you texted me when you texted fam a picture or update about baby. Obviously, this is not a contract thing but my hope and I want you to share it.
What are your religious views and church activity? (All I have is "Christian," which is very important to me) Will you dedicate the baby at church?
I know you plan to stay at home with the baby. If you work part time will you have a nanny or use daycare?
What would you say your parenting style is? (husband has daughter living with mother)
What makes you so sure your marriage won't end in divorce? (Is this rude? I just don't want to send my baby to a home where that's an open option)
How did you choose your career fields?
Would you be open to including me in naming the baby during the pregnancy? Obviously, you could always change the name after adoption, but I'd love to be a part of the naming.
Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu