Still Feels Like a Fresh Wound — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Still Feels Like a Fresh Wound

Well, its been a bit since I was told that I will not be welcoming a new life into this world Jan 2014... I've updated my preferences on here, still receive week-by-week updates of how my pregnancy should be going. Each time is like ripping open a scab. My boyfriend and I broke up around 2 weeks after the loss (after being together for years) and I have never felt so alone. 

On the bright side, searching for different quotes about pregnancy loss has given me a few thoughts to chew over. The entire time my child was here, he was never cold or hungry. He never felt pain or unwanted. The entire duration of his life (I consider the time the baby spent in me a lifetime) he knew absolutely nothing but love. I'm glad that the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Jesus. 

Of course, I don't know if my child was a boy or a girl, but when I think about it I feel in my heart that he was a boy.

This is my third miscarriage in less than 2 years. Every time the pain seems to dull, something happens and the sadness re-crushes me. I hope that one day God decides to let me have a baby that I can hold in my arms and rock to sleep every night.

Excited to meet our daughter, Madison Grace!

Re: Still Feels Like a Fresh Wound

  • I am so sorry. I think your outlook is wonderful. ((Hugs))
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    BFP 08/14/13 EDD 04/18/14 Natural MC 08/19/13
    BFP 10/15/13 EDD 06/24/2014 Natural MC 10/23/13
    Recurrent Miscarriage Panel done 11/06/13. Results= All normal
    BFP 12/2/13 EDD July 30, 2014
    Beta 12/3/13: 19,261!
    U/S 12/13/13 heart rate 143 bpm!

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  • Oh, I am so sorry. It is really hard. 
    September Siggy Challenge

    Married 10/16/2010  || TTC since 06/13
    BFP July 15, 2013; EDD April 5th, 2014 
    MMC; D&C August 21 || currently TTA

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  • So sorry for your losses and I know what you mean about things bringing it up and making it fresh again. It will continue that way. I really love what you said about our babies being loved their entire lives and about Jesus being the first thing he saw. That was beautiful and perfect. I am so sorry to hear you are going through all of this and pray that you will have a little one to hold one day.

    I've recently lost my little one at 16 weeks and had a loss in 04 at 12. It doesn't ever stop hurting it just changes and becomes easier to walk around with, at least in my experience. I'm a walking heartbreak now but I know each day will bring me closer to peace.
    Angel baby 02/14/2004 Liam 8 years Ben 3 years Pregnancy Ticker
  • I have been crying for the past 3 days, and reading these posts and knowing I'm not alone has been comforting but makes me break down even more. I'm so sorry for your losses and admire your hopefulness.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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