The hardest thing I've ever done...

ashleywiz

Whomp whomp whomp... Happy Birthday to me! *sarcasm* 

I just wrote the hardest letter of my life.  I was just asked to send a statement of abuse/neglect regarding my mother and my youngest sister.  Ugh.  As hard as it is for me to speak out about the life that I remember living when I was in her care, I know it is for the very very best. My 13 year old sister bears witness/is subjected to things a little girl should NEVER, EVER, EVER have to even dream about seeing. My stomach is in total knots knowing that this whole ordeal is going to create some major waves in the family, but for the best for my amazing little sister.  Seriously... I just think about all of the shit my mom has done over the years and I'm more and more convinced what a sociopath she is, because in my impending motherhood, I cannot even fathom doing even a fraction of what she did with/to/about/around us. Not to mention, walk around acting like it's everyone else who has the problem. d;aeankaljdn;aeijvkmal;kemjelj <------ How I feel about this right now. 

Sorry to vent, but this isn't exactly a text your friend and tell them all about it. Especially because while I feel very positive about the outcome, what an icky thing for a child to have to do in regards to their parent.  I guess I just remember when I made the decision to move in with my dad (something I didn't even KNOW was an option until a social worker at school mentioned), and the county social worker who had to close our case said the snarkiest thing in the world to me, "Oh, so you're mad at your mommy, huh? Decided to run to daddy?"  ....at 13, I remember wanting to punch her square in the face because she had NO clue what I had been through, and the fact that she had the audacity to say that to me... ugh--   I just pray that my sister gets through this and gets a safe home (with someone I know and love--it's the goal) and has the opportunity to spread her wings the way I know she deserves.  Also.. sidenote.. CPS in Wisconsin sucks major hairy balls--- they are AWFUL. & by awful, I can't even begin to share my disgust with their operations. Anyone who knows what kind of crap she's done is completely flabbergasted at the fact that action hasn't been taken.

WOW- I type too much.... on a completely side and positive note--  I am so psyched for dinner at Yardhouse tonight...and even more excited about the WARM BROWNIE & ICE CREAM that follows.  (and trying to forget the fact that they have an incredible selection of beers that I will not be partaking in...booshnanny!) 

Thanks for reading to my sob...I just needed to get it out! 

COgirl29

Venting is good! I'm so sorry you and your sister have had to deal with that. I definitely cannot relate, but think its great you are doing this for your sister.

Arrgcr

I'm so sorry about everyone going through all that. It must have been rough for you and I agree you are doing the right thing for your sister.

On the positive note, jealous about the warm brownie and ice cream!!!!

lmills730

I'm sorry about everything you've been through and everything you're going through now! It sounds like your sister is so lucky to have you doing this brave thing to protect her.

Cara1024

Sounds like you made the right decision to hopefully help your sister. I hope she is able to find a loving home with family or someone who will be an excellent caregiver.

Try to enjoy the rest of your birthday!

ac1259

Good for you doing that to help your sister. I hope CPS does the right thing and helps her get out of that situation, but in any case it sounds like she's got a good supporter through you! I understand crappy family situations but sometimes you just have to do what is right. But I'm glad you have a place to vent here about it cause I can imagine that was difficult and stressful for you..I hope you see some results from your actions!

jldubb0626

What a strong and brave thing you are doing for your sister, but I'm sorry you have to be doing this at all. *huge hugs*

jmjj1310

I'm so sorry for you and your sister. I admire you for stepping up and making a very difficult move in the best interest of your sister. I'll keep you guys in my prayers and hope for a happy outcome.

ETA: Happy Birthday! <:-P

Kismc

First - happy birthday!!

Second - I think you are amazing for having the courage to help your younger sister. You seem to have risen above the circumstances that you were raised in. Your little one is so lucky to have such a brave and loving mom!

megngregk

::huge hugs:: I'm so sorry for anything you and your sister have had to endure, but you did the right thing. You're helping your baby sister, and that's what matters. 

As for that county social worker years ago, I'd like to get my hands on her. Who says that to somebody?! Bitch. Horrendous bitch. 

This subject hits home for me (not me personally, but within very close family) -- I hope that you sister is placed in a safe, healthy home very soon. Lots of good vibes that things start going in the right direction.

JaneW2

Congratulations on going through with it and taking steps to protect your sister!

AprlShwrs18

What you've lived through sounds terrible, but you are so very strong and a hero for standing up for your sister.

cnctf

Happy birthday buddy!!! I hope you have a fantastic time tonight! Stay safe too since its so darn gloomy out here!

On another note, sorry about your mom and what your sister has to go endure. I hope everything works out for her! If you need to vent more, I'm happy to lend a ear!

notthecheat

Oh my goodness! Its hard enough when people live through such things, but then when they are asked to live through them again in order to take legal action to stop more horrible things....
I commend you for your bravery. So sorry you have had to deal with so much already in this life. It comforts me to know you and your LO are safe now and that one more child of abuse has found the strength and clarity to stop the cycle. I'm so sorry that even though you are safe now, it is something you have had to bear with you your whole life.

Thank you for doing this for yourself, your sister, your LO, and so many others whose lives would otherwise be affected.

ashleywiz

Thank you ladies. To the moon and back I am grateful for your support. 

Didn't mean to post and ditch- DH swooped me for dinner and it was exactly what I needed! Great friends and dinner...but most importantly brownie and mint ice cream in top. Ithankyou. Haha.

 In seriousness, I wouldn't be who I am today if not for having gone through everything, however, I would not wish that piece of my life on anyone. Kids deserve to be kids for as long as possible. I got a reply from the Chief thanking me for the message and says he hopes this is productive in the criminal case for this. (Ironically I got a text from my mom wishing me a happy birthday about 20 min after I sent it... Cue guilty but not so guilty conscious). I love my mom, and so do all of us...however, loving someone and being safe with someone are two entirely separate things. So while its tough, I just pray that at the end of this, perhaps she will truly seek some help so that us 4 can gain peace surrounding her. 

 Again, thank you all. Your support speaks volumes. **hugging you all*** (and I just MIGHT even be willing to share some of that brownie)

adunkin

Sounds like a really difficult situation. BUT huge props to you for having the balls of steel to do what's right for your sister!

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moosebaby2011

I really admire your strength in dealing with all of this, both as the 13 year old you were and the adult you are now. I'm so glad that your sister has you in her corner. Hopefully the system will work quickly to get your sister into a place where she can be safe and thrive, and that you both can feel a little more at peace.

valigrl21

I am so sorry for what you and your family have been through. It sounds like a very difficult situation but good for  you for doing what was best for your sister. T&Ps for you!

twobluelines

It sounds like you are incredibly strong.  How amazing that you are able to stand tall for your sister and get her the help and safety that she needs to continue to grow into a young woman. 

AshleyM0125

Parents suck (sometimes). I happen to have a great mom, but not so much of a dad. My MIL, though, is barely tolerable when on her meds and when she isn't, she is downright abusive. I can't say that she's ever physically abused anyone, but the verbal abuse is... I can't even think of a word strong enough. I understand that in her case, it's a medical issue but it doesn't really make it better when she is telling the absolute love of my life that he is the biggest mistake she ever made, you know? And that's one of the kinder things's she's said.

Obviously your situation is much worse than mine or my hubby's, but I love how you said that without everything you went through you wouldn't be who you are today. My hubby says the same thing. It's awesome to have that perspective.

Parents can suck, but at least we learn what not to do with our kids. We will be that much better at raising our kids than our parents were.

My heart goes out to you and you are doing an amazing thing. Congrats on being an amazing sister!

sugarland726

Major props for having the courage to write that letter to help out your sister.

forevergraceful

Happy Birthday @ashleywiz!

I am so sorry that you are going through this. It's awful, and nobody should ever have to deal with it. I am super happy thought that you are a voice for your sister. A lot of times people do not believe the minor, she is lucky to have you in her life. You are doing what is best for her and the rest of your family. Many hugs to you. 

KristaBelieve

Sorry you went through that. I think it's wonderful you are trying to make your sister's situation better. Good luck!

jgraham80

Your sister is VERY lucky to have someone who would do that for her.  Even though it is right, not everyone would be able to do it.  I'm so sorry for the things your mom did to you.  You sound like you have a great head on your shoulders and will be able to use your past to be an amazing mother!

I hope you can salvage your birthday and have a blast!

Edit: Just realized this was written yesterday, so hope you HAD a great birthday!

Ladams30

I hope you had an amazing birthday!

What you are doing is so amazing!  It's also incredibly hard!  I'm sorry that social worker did that to you.  I personally want to skin bad social workers - it takes a special person to do it and not everyone has the compassion and empathy to work in that field successfully. 

A word of warning - even though you are helping your sister, she may hate you for a while.  She may know she's in a bad situation, but at least she knows what this situation is like.  She may be more afraid of the situation she doesn't know than the one she knows is bad for her.

Good luck throughout all of this.  And I would be happy to lend an ear if you need it.

ashleywiz

@Ladams, actually, she's been working hard for a long time too, to be removed from the situation. She has actually spoken with some people already (unknown to our mom) so luckily, while she's definitely afraid of what could happen If she were to catch wind, she's gathered her strength and is ready to speak out.

& speaking of bad social workers-- apparently, because she posted a status or a something on her FB page about loving my mom and saying she was a good cook, that= no eminent harm. Are you freaking kidding me? She is smart enough it know that the mere mention of leaving gets her communication severed, let alone posting something on the Internet...helllooooo. It just blows my mind how ignorant these people are. Like I said before, love does NOT equal safety- especially when it comes to tumultuous relationships... Bah. Stupid people kill me. Haha. 

I did have a fabulous birthday in spite of this. Very much so-- I am blessed with the people around me.  

Tomerine

You did a brave thing. And the right thing. You definitely deserve that brownie.

ashleywiz

@Tomerine --haha I hadn't even thought of it that way, it was delicious the whole way down  Seriously, though, thank you. I appreciate everyones kind and supportive words. 

SvedkaStoli

You did absolutely the right thing! If you sister is not safe, somebody needed to get her out of your mother's care. And I am so sorry, no child deserves to be brought up like that.

Winnieella

I'm so sorry. I agree with you CPS in WI sucks. I don't know how many times I have called on a student last year and he is still with mom. I was making calls at least once a month. I really hope your sister will be okay.

ashleywiz

@MrsJWoddsJr  --it's appalling how terrible they are. They have an "abuse threshold" they use- which is completely asinine-- since when is ANY abuse, be it mental, physical, sexual or neglect or unsafe conditions ever acceptable for a child.  Completely outrageous.  The more we unfold this situation the more it's a major clusterfuck--and it should be a piece of cake, she has a criminal record for goodness sakes--how much more do you need?!   BTW - you don't happen to live in the middle of nowhere northwestern wisconsin, do you?

aessary03

Sorry for your and your sister's situation.  I hope the outcome is a positive one and you can all move on toward a happy, healthy life.

ashleywiz

Thank you @aessary03, me too.